Page 24 of Banter & Blushes #1

THE BATTLE BETWEEN MY brAIN AND MY HEART

REBECCA

I was standing in front of my bathroom mirror, trying not to look like I had just been on a rollercoaster of emotions—emotions that I didn't even know I was capable of having at this point in my life. It had been a day . A long day.

Okay, who am I kidding? It had been a weird day.

Luca and I had shared some—what?—awkward lasagna tacos together (which, honestly, I would never admit to anyone else was as mildly intriguing as it was).

True to his word, he later took me out for mixed drinks, and we had a great time, relaxing together on a quiet evening, watching the waves roll in on the beach.

I’d spent way too much time afterward trying to decode my feelings. Was I overthinking this? Was I trying to talk myself out of something that could maybe— just maybe —be real? Ugh, Rebecca, pull it together .

I stared at myself in the mirror, squinting. “What are you doing?” I asked, as if the reflection was going to answer back. Of course, it didn’t. It just stared blankly, reminding me that I hadn’t been this confused about anything in... well, forever.

I had spent the last few weeks convincing myself that a guy like Luca was not a good idea.

He was younger, charismatic, easy to get along with.

He was the type that would sweep you off your feet, and then the next thing you knew, you’d be nursing a broken heart.

No, I was smarter than that. I’d been through too much to get caught up in some whirlwind, short-lived thing.

I needed stability. I needed—what was the word I was looking for? Dullness ?

I closed my eyes and tried to force my mind back to the rational side of things.

I was here to focus on relaxing before getting back to my work, not to get tangled up in some guy who made me feel like I was in high school again.

I had a career. I had things to do. I was not going to get distracted by a guy whose eyes lit up whenever he talked about cooking, whose smile seemed to pull me into a vortex of mixed emotions.

“Don’t get involved, Rebecca,” I muttered to myself. “Just don’t. You’re smarter than this.”

But, of course, then came the little voice in my head that sounded suspiciously like Maya’s. “But what if it’s different this time?”

Oh, great. Now I was taking advice from my best friend who wasn’t even here right now.

I sighed dramatically. "No. No, no, no," I repeated, trying to force myself back to my sensible side . I was not going to think about Luca’s ridiculously charming smile.

Or how his hands moved when he was explaining food like it was the most important thing in the universe.

Or the way his laugh made my heart do these weird little flips.

Or how he looked so cute in the kitchen that my insides turned into a pile of mush every time I watched him cook.

I took a deep breath. Stop it, Rebecca. Focus. I was not going to let a guy mess with my head. Not again.

The thing was... when Luca was around, it felt like I couldn’t even hear my own thoughts.

I’d be standing there, minding my own business, and poof —he’d show up, grinning that goofy grin, saying something utterly ridiculous, and I’d forget all the “reasons” I shouldn’t be interested.

Like that time he had shown up with the lasagna tacos.

Lasagna tacos. Who does that? And yet...

it was actually kind of charming, wasn’t it?

I grabbed a towel and tossed it over my head, groaning into the fabric. “You’re so messed up, Rebecca. You can’t fall for him. He’s just... Luca. He’s not a forever guy. He’s probably... I don’t know, still working on his life goals or whatever it is that guys in their twenties do.”

But then, of course, Luca had to go and be even more confusing.

He’d called me later that evening. Just..

. out of the blue. No big deal. “Hey, Rebecca, I was thinking—if you’re not busy tomorrow, maybe I could show you around town?

Not like a date or anything—just a tour of the best food spots. You know, casual.”

And my stomach had done that thing it always did when he was around—flipped. Casual . Sure. Because casual was exactly how it felt when he made my heart race with just a few words. When I agreed, I was immediately reminded of the small, ridiculous thrill I got every time he smiled at me.

I was losing this battle. The side of me that knew better was slowly being defeated by the side of me that wanted something to happen.

Wanted to believe that maybe he was different.

But I couldn’t let myself. Not again. I wasn’t going to risk everything for a guy who, no matter how charming, was still figuring his own life out.

He was young. He was cute. He was everything I told myself I didn’t need.

But then... the memory of his smile flashed across my mind again. That smile. The one that made my heart feel like it was skipping beats when he would listen to everything I had to say without brushing me off like I was rambling.

Okay, I was really losing it now. Focus, Rebecca!

The next morning came, and I found myself standing in the lobby of the hotel, trying to act like I wasn’t ridiculously excited to see him.

I was definitely not excited. I was just..

. a little curious. Because, I mean, a food tour ?

What was I supposed to do with that? Pretend I wasn’t hoping for some cute, spontaneous adventure where I didn’t have to think about anything other than the way Luca’s eyes lit up when he talked about food?

I was fine. Totally fine. This wasn’t a thing .

When he finally showed up, I could immediately tell he’d put thought into the whole thing—he was dressed casually, but with that touch of effort that made him look effortlessly stylish.

“Ready for your tour?” he asked, and there it was again. The smile. The grin that said, I’m a little too charming for my own good , and I swear I almost melted on the spot.

“You sure you’re not going to make me eat something weird again?” I asked, trying to sound sarcastic, but I think it came out as more of a flirty challenge.

“Oh, I’m definitely going to make you try some weird things,” he said with a wink, and I could feel my heart rate pick up just from that one little motion. No. Don’t do this. Don’t let him get to you.

I forced myself to shrug nonchalantly. “Well, as long as it doesn’t involve tacos or lasagna in any questionable combination, I think I’ll survive.”

“Deal,” he said, barking out a raw laugh. “But no promises. I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve.”

And just like that, I was back at square one.

Rebecca, stop it. Stop letting him do this to you.

But I couldn’t. Every time I feebly attempted to push the thought of Luca away, he just gave me one of those looks or said something completely ridiculous, and it was like I was powerless. I was so screwed.

I mentally kicked myself. Just focus on the food tour. Just focus on food. Food is safe. Luca? Not so much.

But as I watched him genuinely happy to be spending time together, my brain did its best to ignore the thundering hope in my chest. No. I’m not going to let this happen. I can’t let it happen. I’ve learned my lesson.

But deep down, I knew— there was no turning back now.