Page 61

Chapter 58

ASPEN

Nadya fucking Rhevan was sitting on my kitchen counter.

The Nightshade, wreathed in her signature shadows, perched atop the marble island in the center of my kitchen—eating a fucking oat cluster.

“Divine, I’ve missed Vaelithe cooking,” she said, dusting crumbs off her leather pants.

How in the ever-loving hells did I end up here?

“Take your hand off your sword, Prince,” she drawled in exasperation, pushing herself off the counter and landing silently on her feet. “Although I must admit, I admire the effort—fruitless as it may be.” She finished the last bite, licking her finger with a saccharine grin.

I quickly snapped my jaw back to its normal resting position as she prowled across my wooden floors, hands clasped behind her back, wisps of shadow dragging behind her like the train of a gown. One manicured finger trailed across the top of the coffee table, inspecting it for dust.

Mochi bounced after her, weaving between the curling tendrils of darkness as they brushed against his ears. Nadya’s eyes widened—imperceptibly, to anyone who didn’t know better—as she noticed him. A flash of a grin skirted over her features before she swept him off the floor and resumed her pointed inspection of my home.

Finally, I found the ability to form a coherent sentence, straightening to my full height and admonishing my momentary lapse in dignity. “Are you going to inform me of what brought you here, or are you too busy tracking mud across my floors?”

Her steps didn’t falter, the click of her boots echoing through the silence as she ignored me completely, attention fixed on my bookcase. She patted Mochi absentmindedly where her shadows had hoisted him to her shoulder, her face schooled into calculated neutrality.

Abruptly, she whipped her head around, ocean blue gaze pinning me in place.

“I will admit, it’s a bit less stuffy than I imagined,” she mused, then shrugged. “But by the Goddesses, would it kill you to deviate from grey, black, or blue in your color scheme? Even a single pillow?”

She promptly planted herself on my gilded coffee table, kicking her feet up onto the end table.

I hid my wince by clearing my throat. “That is custom-made and imported from Marikaim using the finest quality materials, Nightshade. It is not for lounging.”

Never mind the various ways I had recently imagined using that coffee table—all of which involved a certain redhead.

She leaned forward, pulling her feet down but remaining seated. “It would be slightly more understandable that you’re a pompous prick if your interior decorating skills were at least up to par.”

At that exact moment, I wished portalboy had found some merit for his ramblings about traveling through time as well as space, for the sole purpose of informing my prior self what would become of my life. Oh, yes. A fierce, crimson-tinted tornado is going to barrel through your life , make you face all of your demons , and question every belief you’ve ever held . And then her fairly menacing best friend , who happens to be Altaerra’s greatest spy and assassin , will break into your home and critique your décor choices. Have a splendid time.

Truly, past me would have suffered an imminent death.

“A bit rich, wouldn’t you say?” I scoffed. “You’re clad in the same color scheme.”

“For stealth, little snowman,” she mused, waggling her eyebrows with a mischievous grin. “Not for whatever morbid melancholy consumes you.”

“Is Altaerra’s favorite rake not gracing us with his presence today?”

Her stare sharpened—somehow. “I rather thought that was your title,” she countered in a low voice, her words slicing through the air.

Altaerra’s royal pariah is more like it. Fuck, if it wasn’t my own doing. Six years as a drunk shit. Of course they’d see me that way.

I held her gaze for a moment before exhaling, dropping my shoulders, and holding up my hands in surrender. Provoking Iris’s closest friend was unwise to begin with, especially when that friend was Nadya Rhevan. It would be much wiser to find common ground—even if jokes at Ferrin Evreonis’ expense were far more entertaining.

Her eyes softened slightly at my display. She set Mochi down, pulling out her dagger and twirling it between her fingers as she perused my home once more.

“The only Ethera to ever rival the current Threader sitting on the Altaerran Council in complexity of barriers is sleeping in your bed for weeks, and this cabin is easier to break into than a child’s treehouse.”

Shit. She had a point.

Also, how the fuck did she know that?

Mochi usually accompanied me when I was away, and I had such little regard for my own life—or possessions—that I’d never thought to guard the cabin. Before Iris.

Something far more precious was housed here now.

Instead of admitting that—like a better male than I would—I decided offense was the best strategy.

Coward.

“There’s a lock.” She barked a laugh. “How sweet, a lock. There’s a hole in the damn roof.”

“ That is warded.”

The skylight remained open. Iris never closed it after the first night. Sometimes, I’d find her sprawled on the bed, eyes closed, face tilted toward the sky, wearing the softest of smiles. One time, she’d convinced me to let her remove the ward so the snow could fall in—just to make a colossal mess we had to clean later, between fits of her laughter.

“The earlier point stands.”

“Are the dramatics really necessary, Nadya?” I sighed, eyeing the spinning blade of her dagger. “I’m sure you know better than anyone—she isn’t prone to using her magic.”

Nadya huffed a laugh. “Not for herself, no.” Her dagger stilled as she fixed me with another glare. “But she goes farther than I dare imagine for those she cares about.”

I scoffed. “Perhaps. But I’m not part of that group. You and your comrades—” I pushed down the envy at the thought of Iris and her friends, her family.

The spark that lit in her eyes when she spoke of them. The idea of being someone worthy of that gleam.

And what would that kind of life be like?

Nadya might be one for theatrics, but she obviously cared for Iris deeply—seeing as she had broken into my home just to make her loyalty known. I had seen the same in Ferrin’s actions in Reilune.

I banished the thought immediately.

Entanglements cause distraction.

Dante’s voice echoed in my mind.

They placed others in the line of fire. A sure way to get someone hurt.

I had never needed friends to begin with. It was foolish to start entertaining the idea now.

Theon was family. Deyanira too. They were duty-bound to House Gavalon—forced to deal with me. For some reason, they stayed.

“Fucking Divine, you’re pretentious and dense,” Nadya moaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

I stared at her, perplexed.

“If you can’t see that Iris Virlana cares for you, then you must have either suffered a sudden loss of your senses or are truly that much of an idiot,” she deadpanned, sheathing her dagger and straightening to stand.

“You know nothing about me, or my—” I cut myself off. “About that.”

Iris and I both seemed to avoid the topic.

Why?

Because I was a coward.

A selfish fucking coward.

Nadya sighed. “The way Iris writes about you in her letters, you’d think she’d discovered the missing Divinian grimoire.”

What letters?

They included me?

I pushed the thought down, burying it deep under layers of ice.

Of course she mentioned you, fool. You’re working together on a life-saving cure.

Don’t run away with it.

“I’ll mention the wards. She should use her magic more,” I replied, ignoring the buzzing in my skin at the idea of Iris discussing me with her closest friend. “Should do whatever the fuck she wants more often, I’d say.”

The Nightshade tilted her head, a shadow curling up her shoulder to wrap around her ear. Her stare glazed over for a moment, then sharpened as she turned back to assess me once more. Her eyebrows pinched slightly, and I fought the urge to look away from that piercing gaze.

Goddesses above, this woman was intense.

“That, we would have to agree on,” she said thoughtfully.

I crossed my arms, mirroring her posture.

“Do you push her on it?” Nadya asked, her voice devoid of emotion. “Using her magic, I mean.”

“Yes,” I admitted, somewhat guiltily. I wasn’t sure if she was merely asking or accusing.

Her teal eyes flashed. “Good.”

It was a relief, knowing others saw what I did—how Iris held herself back.

Perhaps the Nightshade was the ally I needed to make her admit what she wanted.

Nadya was staring again.

I had to admit—being fixed with her stare was unnerving. Not quite as terrifying as Iris, but a close second.

Once, I’d wondered about the relationship between Iris Virlana, a ray of light, and Nadya Rhevan, a creature born of shadows. But now, it made more sense. They were two halves of the same whole.

“What are you doing here, Nightshade?” I broke the silence with a sigh.

Nadya scoffed, feigning innocence. “Is checking in on my closest friend a criminal offense now?”

I arched a brow. “I would assume so when it involves breaking into private residences like a thief.” I gestured toward where she stood. “But that is neither here nor there. I daresay you know exactly where Iris is right now, and yet, you find yourself in our home.”

Snooping. Vetting my worth for her friend. Interrogating me on my motives.

Commendable, albeit misplaced.

For one, no Ethera had ever been worthy of Iris Virlana. And if Nadya was worried I would do something untoward?

Laughable.

I’d let Iris destroy me.

“Rather a shame,” Nadya mused, “she’s not nearly the asshole you are.”

“Ah yes, because I’m simply thrilled with your presence,” I deadpanned.

“Ferrin was right. You are a stiff.” Her tone was falsely sweet as she flipped her dark hair over her shoulder and strolled out of my front door.

“Good for him. I’d assume that’s a first.”

Her body stiffened, just for a moment, before she unclenched her fists, shaking her wrists slightly and continuing.

Well then.

I made a mental note to pester Iris about whatever the fuck that was later.

Fresh snow flew blew past the open door, assaulting me in a deluge I’d only half diverted in my preoccupation. A moon-white Sygen burst from beneath a tall pile, jerking its slender reptilian head toward Mochi.

The traitor jumped on Karhu’s opalescent back.

I trudged after the twin white beasts stacked atop each other,

searching for an excuse to accompany Nadya to see Iris that didn’t involve being so far gone that the thought of waiting until dinner to see her smile was unbearable.

Something to portray composure. Poise. Intelligence.

Divine, was this what it was like to have feelings?

It was nauseating.

I walked silently beside Nadya, swerving as her shadows darted out dramatically.

“Pitiful,” she drawled, striding toward the back of Arcton Palace. “And I’m here for a meal. I miss her.”

Fair enough.

I miss her every time she fucking leaves the bed to get a glass of water.

Shit. I’m revolting.

Mochi hopped directly from Karhu’s back to Nadya’s shoulder when we reached the back entrance of the palace, the Sygen burying into another pile of snow. I heaved the doors open, gesturing for Nadya to enter. She took a step forward, then faltered, whipping her head toward me.

She lowered her voice. “What did you learn from the meeting?”

If Nadya was speaking freely, I didn’t worry we were being overheard.

“Calum Winthrall seems to be involved in some sort of secret society my father is adamant I meet with. No sign it has anything to do with the Incarnates—he bears no mark. Still wields his Goddess blessings. The way he spoke of his ‘society’, though, felt less like an underground resistance and more like a callous excuse for debauchery and belittling anyone they deem beneath them. But I’ve kept the line of communication open. The Gavalon name seems to be enough to convince him of my interest.”

“So, their interests align with your father’s from the last war?” she asked.

“It seems so. He didn’t frame his invitation as a plan for action, more a guild where like-minded individuals share their pathetic excuse for ‘higher ideals,’” I spat the last words. “But Calum is not someone we can afford to underestimate.”

She nodded. “Are we to believe it’s a coincidence we’re uncovering these seemingly separate matters at the same time?”

“We can’t know without more information,” I shrugged.

“And you’ve given him enough to persuade him of your curiosity? I can’t imagine Iris is particularly fond of that idea. She’s determined to convince others you aren’t privy to that line of thinking.”

My glorious girl.

But it wasn’t what they thought of me that mattered—only what she saw. And there was no reason for her to see me in the light she did. I’d made shit decisions before I knew her, just to feel something. And now, there was no length I wouldn’t go to help her achieve her goals. To keep her alive long enough to do so.

Decisions she would never make. Decisions she would hate me for.

Iris Virlana gets to be happy.

Iris Virlana gets to see the world.

Iris Virlana gets to live.

“To Iris and Theon’s chagrin, yes. But they agree it’s the only option.”

“I agree,” she said, arms crossing over her black leather tunic. “We need to understand their inner workings and connections before we can formulate a strategy.”

Nadya slipped into the palace before I could respond.

Mochi leapt from her shoulders, his descent slowed by a descending path of shadows.

“When I saw your name popping up in her letters—without any hint of contempt—I needed to make sure she wasn’t losing it,” Nadya said after a moment, an almost-laugh in her voice.

“If she doesn’t speak of me with contempt, she might be.”

“She’ll do anything to help the people she cares for, you know.” Nadya’s tone softened. “She is cursed to love others in a way that most cannot even begin to fathom.”

Fuck.

What a life that would be. To be loved by Iris Virlana.

I swallowed. “She’s the most formidable person I’ve ever met.”

“I do not understand how she remains who she is in a world that has been hells-bent on taking that from her.” Her teal eyes burned cold, threat clear. The harrowing vision of the Nightshade. “Do not take advantage of that.”

“Rhevan,” I called hoarsely as she stepped into the corridor leading to the healer’s wing.

She halted, craning her neck back toward me.

“All I want is for her to be happy,” I said, voice steady. “And I do not take my role in that—whatever capacity it may be—lightly.”

One of her dark brows arched, as if she understood there was more I hadn’t said.

“But I will not sit idly by and enable her to make herself smaller for others,” I added. “For anyone.”

She deserves everything she’s ever wanted.

And everything she hasn’t even dared to.

Nadya studied me, a small, almost surprised grin threatening the edge of her lips.

“You’re a pompous, entitled prick, little snowman,” she retorted, and I fought the urge to wince. But I glimpsed her features soften before she turned away.

“But I suspect that maybe—under all that—you aren’t the worst person to be by her side.”

“What high praise,” I huffed.

“I trust Iris’s judgment as much as my own,” she shrugged. “She sees something in you.”

Goddess knows what.

I nodded. “Everything is so… extraordinary in her eyes.”

Things I did not expect today, or in this lifetime: another heartfelt conversation with Nadya Rhevan.

We passed under the rune of the healer’s wing, heading toward the last door before the infirmary. I tucked my book I carried under an arm to grab the handle, and Nadya’s eyes widened as she caught sight of the title.

Ancient Weaponry: Warfare Predating the Discovery of Deimos.

“Divine above,” she whispered excitedly. “Where did you find that?!”

I stiffened, pulling it closer at the slightly predatory gleam in her eyes. “It’s part of my personal collection.”

She hesitated. Shifted on her feet.

“Can I borrow it?” she blurted.

I considered. If nothing else, it would give me more material to tease Iris with later.

“Fine,” I said curtly, moving the book out of reach as she lunged for it.

This might be an unlikely alliance.

But at least it would be an entertaining one.

“On two conditions.”

She pulled back, eyes narrowing skeptically. “Go on.”

“One,” I began, shifting the book to my other hand, “you return it in precisely the same condition as it is now. No fingerprints from eating those oat clusters, no spilled tea, no dirt from missions.” I wrinkled my nose.

“Oh, come off it,” she snorted. “Are you saying you don’t let Iris eat and drink while borrowing your books? I’d pay to see that conversation.”

Iris Virlana can do whatever she damn well pleases with my possessions.

Except—I must not have kept that particular thought in my head, because she was currently doubled over, clutching her sides in laughter.

Fuck .

“And two,” I growled as she wiped her eyes, “you have a discussion or two with Iris about her magic. And Vaelithe.”

She crossed her arms, both brows raised this time. “She does a lot for others, and I suspect both have something to do with her refusal. But she’s shit at hiding her pride when she does use it.”

“I won’t collude with you behind her back,” she snapped.

“I’m not asking you to,” I replied simply. “I predict you’ll recant this entire conversation to her over lunch. It’s no secret how I feel about Iris holding back.”

Something unreadable flashed in the Nightshade’s eyes, but all she said was, “Fine,” as she held out her palm for the tome.

I handed it to her, surprised when she tucked it under her arm and extended her hand again.

“To Iris Virlana and her stubbornness. May she hopefully decide not to kill us both.”

I clasped her hand in mine. “To Iris Virlana. And an unlikely alliance.”

Nadya slipped into the infirmary.

Iris sat on the edge of a cot, Mochi already at her side, talking with a patient while the sunlight streamed through the window behind her—framing her crimson waves in a golden halo.

She looked like she had been sent from the Divine.

I wished to bask in her light. Let it burn me to ashes.

I sucked in a breath, and Nadya shot me a brief but knowing smirk.

Iris turned at the sound of our footsteps, and I caught the exhaustion ringing beneath her eyes, the weariness in her posture—just before she broke into a wide grin at the sight of her oldest friend.

That haunted look was buried immediately, but it didn’t leave me.

Each day, her work on the cure took more of a toll. She’d stabilized the tonic, but it would take another week before it was ready to test on willing patients.

In the meantime, she continued to reread the translated texts, brewing other draughts for the infirmary. I had to drag her to bed most nights.

Iris bid farewell to her patient before scrambling off the cot and launching herself at Nadya The two squealed—honest to Goddess squealed—at the sight of each other.

This was a stark contrast to the Nightshade I had the pleasure of encountering.

The duality of Nadya Rhevan.

Iris released her and turned that blinding smile toward me.

My lungs expanded too wide for my ribs. Was that normal? The sensation that I only took full breaths in her presence? Maybe one of the healers should check it out too.

I returned her small smile and winked as Nadya stepped to her side.

Iris crossed her arms, gaze darting between us as she worried her bottom lip. “You two look like you’ve been scheming.”

Always so perceptive.

“What do you want?”

You .

Fuck.

Get it together, you lovesick idiot.

“I found this one loitering at the cabin,” I drawled.

“What were you doing at our home?”

Our home.

“Inspecting the security of your new accommodations.” Nadya replied. “Not your best work, Ris.”

“I’m sure.” Iris rolled her eyes. “And you’re here now because?”

I didn’t miss her wary anticipation. She expected bad news more often than not. I think we all did.

“Nadya would like to have a meal with you,” I waved a hand. “And I made sure she didn’t get lost on her way here.”

“How adorable that you think I don’t have this entire palace mapped out,” Nadya laughed, looping her arm through Iris’s. “He just wanted to see you,” she finished snarkily.

I shot Nadya a glare, but Iris angled her head toward me, eyes soft and open, and I promptly forgot my irritation. She flashed a grin, this time meant only for me. The angel she was.

Something melted in my chest.

“That is preposterous,” I dismissed, but returned her secretive smile anyway.

“Come up with a better excuse next time,” Nadya droned as she dragged Iris from the room.

Iris’s eyes met mine as she passed, her pinky hooking around mine—squeezing—before slipping away.

She was infectious.

I never wanted to be cured.

That small gesture felt like a piece of herself she let me keep. Quiet reassurances. Unspoken pacts. I wasn’t much for public displays, but when we walked through the market’s busier sectors, all I wanted was to take her hand and raise it for the world to see.

Instead, I settled for hooking her pinky with mine. A stolen promise.

A fool’s game.

I made my way to the library, hoping to find another book for lunch. But as I caught a glimpse of the two females laughing hysterically, wandering off arm in arm?—

Nadya Rhevan might not be that bad after all.