Page 39

Chapter 38

Ainsley

I didn’t sleep at all last night, and I feel like a walking rain cloud this morning, which makes sense with the rain still coming down outside. I’m honestly surprised it hasn’t turned into snow as I make my way to the doctor with a ginger-ale and crackers in tow after crashing at Soph’s last night.

I want Timmie’s so bad, but I don’t want my memories of Timmie’s being tainted with throwing it up. So, back to basics we go. I step into the office that smells of old cleaner and latex.

Wonderful. That smell sure helps with the nausea. You’d think they’d get some candles or oils to help with the smell for pregnant ladies in the doctor’s office waiting rooms. Nope, just cold, stiff waiting room chairs, weird smells, and all these women, some with partners, others like me, alone.

I can feel the stares of others around me, or maybe I’m just judging myself harder right now for walking in here alone. No one knows I’m here for a pregnancy. I’m not showing. It could just be a normal routine checkup, but I know I’m here to check up on my baby. That is inside me. My hand drops to cover my stomach like the extra layer of protection will help keep them safe.

I take a deep breath and sit while I wait for them to call me back. I lace my fingers and circle my thumbs one over the other. It doesn’t take long before I hear my name. I go to the open area close to the front desk, and they take my height and weight. Fuck. That number on the scale is about to change. Not that I care, but like, do I honestly have to step on that thing at every appointment?

I hop off, and the nurse hands me a cup. I look at her and then back to the cup.

“Oh, this must be your first. You can use the washroom behind you. Please leave a urine sample up to the red line and write your first and last name on the cup with the pen by the sink.”

I nod and turn to go into the washroom behind me. I focus on aiming the best I can in this little cup and not covering my hand in piss. Finishing up, I hear loud talking outside the door.

I grab my pee cup to bring back to the nurse and make my way out to see what the fuss is about. As I open the door, deep brown eyes meet mine.

Shit. He whips his head to the lady at the front desk.

“Found her!” he snaps with a little smile.

My jaw hits the floor. He has a game. He missed his team’s flight. Fuck, he’s definitely getting fined for that.

“What are you doing here? Are you crazy?”

“No, yes, maybe? I don’t care. Please tell this lovely lady at the front that I can come back with you?”

I nod instantly. I always wanted him here with me, even if I’m still a broken mess. We may have a long road ahead of us, but he is in this as much as me, so if he is here to check up on the baby, then so be it.

“He can come. He just wants to check in on his baby as well. I’m sorry. I didn’t think he was going to make it today.”

The front desk assistant nods, and he makes his way to me. He stops right in front of me and wraps his big arms around me, but I just hold my arms straight out like a starfish. He pulls away and looks at me, his eyes asking if hugging me was wrong. I hold my hands out in front of him and shake the pee cup a little.

“Oh, is that?” he says, pointing at it and raising his eyebrows.

I nod again.

“Yep, didn’t want to hug you with my pee in my hand.” He laughs as the nurse comes back.

“Oh, Ainsley, I can take that.” Her eyebrows soar to the top of her head.

“Oh my word, my son is going to flip. Mr. Salisu, can I please get your autograph for him?”

He laughs. “Of course! As long as you all take care of my girl and my baby. I’ll give you whatever you need.”

She squeals, taking the cup from my hand. As soon as it is out of my hand, he wraps me in another hug. I sink into him, wrapping my arms around his waist. We stay there for what seems like ten minutes, not saying a word, just letting our hearts beat together, all three of us.

The nurse clears her throat.

“I can take you to your room now, and you both can have some privacy.” I look up, and Shawn takes my hand as we follow her to the room.

* * *

W e sit down, and the nurse does a few routine checks and asks some questions. She notices my bag of crackers and ginger-ale.

“Are you having bad morning sickness?”

“The worst!” I say, and Shawn snaps his eyes to mine. He picks up my drink and food and brings it to me.

“This is the new breakfast order?”

“It’s all I can stomach right now.”

“I’ll have my place and the cottage stocked by tomorrow.”

“Oh, Shawn, that isn’t necessary. I’ve got it.”

“Nope. No arguments, it's already happening.” He says as he types away on his phone.

The nurse just looks at us, smiling.

“Well, I’m going to give you both a minute. The doctor will be in shortly.”

She leaves and Shawn stops working away on his phone and looks up at me.

“Lee, I just…”

I hold up a hand.

“Not now, not here. We can hash it all out, but let’s just have this moment. Pretend that everything is okay and not miss any of these first moments.”

“Of course, that’s why I’m here. I’ll always be here for y’all.”

“Thanks, so are you going to tell me why you aren’t on a plane to Dallas right now?” I look over at him.

He stands and comes up next to me. He grabs both of my hands.

“Nothing could stop me from being here with my girls.”

He says, looking into my eyes. My mouth parts in shock. I hadn’t even thought about gender, I just wanted to make sure they were right about this whole baby thing. I look up at him and squeeze his hand.

“Girls? It could be a boy, we don’t know!”

He shrugs. “I have a feeling.”

“Mhmm. Sure.”

Tears are already building, the gravity of being here with him, not being able to call Mimi and tell her about all the little things I’m experiencing. I don’t know if I will ever not miss her, but I do know one thing. I will tell this little one so many stories about one of the best grandmas to walk the planet.

He leans down and kisses the top of my head; I exhale my fears to keep myself calm for the sake of the baby. A knock comes from the door and the doctor pokes her head in.

“So, who is ready to see the baby?”