Page 33

Chapter 32

Ainsley

M oving in with Shawn was like trying to find hot cocoa in November in Toronto. Easy.

He headed out tonight for an away game in Atlanta. He wanted to leave a little early because constantly going through customs every time you play an away game takes longer and he wanted to have time to settle in.

I open the door, take off my boots and scarf, placing them on the hook in the mudroom, and then walk to the couch and sit down. As soon as I sit down, I hear a knock at the door. Fuck me.

I haul my ass up and hurry to the door.

I swing the door open, already annoyed, but my expression immediately softens when I see Millie in front of me with a jar of pickles, sea salt and vinegar chips, Oreos, and a box of Timbits. My girl knows me well. I pull her in for a hug.

“How did you know what I needed and when I needed it?”

I say around her curls, and she laughs.

“Because I needed it too, and a little bird may have told me to come keep you company tonight.”

She says with more energy than what her eyes show.

Shit, I don’t know what’s going on with her. I’ve been so consumed with work, basketball, and Shawn for the past couple of weeks. I feel like a terrible friend. Pulling her inside and heading to the couch, I ask.

“Pizza?” I look over at her. She nods as I turn the channel to the latest sports news.

“So, are you going to tell me what is going on? Is it your dad again?” I pry as I tuck my feet under me and sit facing her.

She slumps down into the couch, pulling her hoodie over her head.

“It’s just everything. I’m burnt out and feel blah. No purpose, no passion, no nothing. Just wake up and do the same shit for my dad every day.”

I nod, encouraging her to continue.

“I occasionally come hang out with you or Soph, but even then I feel like your lives are taking off and so put together. While mine is just stuck in the past, a revolving door.”

“Oh Mils.” I pull her towards me, placing her in my arms.

“You can do anything you want to do. Has your dad found a new job yet?”

“Nope. I don’t want to push him, but I don't want him to feel like he's stuck either. He can find what he is passionate about again. But I feel like his passion died right along with mom.”

I suck in a breath. She doesn’t talk about her mom a lot anymore.

“Let’s brainstorm some ideas and I’ll braid your hair.”

I hop up and grab the gels that I kept at my old place for her and a styling comb. She sits down in front of me as sports broadcasters run through top player news of the week.

I split her hair down the middle, spray either side with rice water, run leave-in conditioner through each section, and get to work. Just like her mom taught me. I’m halfway done with her first side when I feel Millie jump and gasp, holding in her breath.

“What? Did I pull it too tight?” I look at her as she turns around, shaking her head.

“What’s up?”

She turns back to look at the TV screen, and my eyes jump to the screen.

I feel like someone is punching my gut and choking my throat at the same time. Tears immediately form as I take in the news on the screen in front of us. A photo of Shawn with a young girl, little brown skin, sage green eyes, and a perfect little black dress on. They’re in a deep embrace in…Dallas?

His game is in Atlanta…tomorrow. Oh shit.

He told me he was headed to Atlanta. No, no no no.

I know his game is in Atlanta. So why the flying fuck is he in Dallas? And why didn’t he say a word to me about meeting up with some chick in a different city? My head spins as the announcer on the screen keeps throwing punches at me.

“Rookie Playboy, Shawn Salisu must have taken on the party ways of the city boys of Toronto. Flying around to different cities, meeting up with different chicks.”

What. The. Fuck.

My world feels like it is flipping upside down as I sit down and pull my knees to my chest, unable to start my heaving and flood of tears. I want to throw up. I know this man. I thought I knew this man, but now my life feels like a complete shit storm. Next to me, I hear Millie approach, putting an arm around me as she chats on her phone.

“Liam, turn on channel 6.”

She says calmly. I can hear Liam yell through the phone.

“THE MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!”

“Liam, I’m going to take Lee with me. Can you at least watch the dogs until Shawn gets back from wherever he is, and we can figure out what is going on?”

I take a deep breath and tune everything out. I sit there spinning, holding my stomach.

Shit. I’m going to be sick.

That is the one thing I know I could never do, share my man, and now the entire world sees me as just another girl on his roster. I had always seen the looks and comments on social media, but he paid no attention to it. Never gave me a reason not to trust him. Ever.

I look up and see Millie standing next to the couch with two suitcases in tow.

“You ready?”

I nod and reel in the snot hanging from my nose.

“Mils, can you just take me to Mimi’s? I need her.”

“Sure thing! I’ll go back to my place and get some stuff, and stay with you both.”

“Thanks, Mils.”

We head out, and I try to figure out how to explain to my Mimi that her superstar just lied to me and made a fool of me on national television.

* * *

M illie drops me off at Mimi’s, and I already have a million missed calls from Soph, Liam, and Shawn. No surprises there. I know Millie let Liam know where I am, so I power off my phone. I make my way to the front door of the cottage. The lake gets so pretty in the fall, covered by colorful leaves.

This is exactly where I need to be. I knock on the door and let myself in. Mimi doesn’t know I’m just randomly showing up, so I yell out. As I take in the house with barely any lights on. Just a soft glow from around the corner.

“Mimi! It’s me. I just needed to get away for a few days.” I sniff, still trying to hold back tears, knowing the conversation I’m about to have is going to be uncomfortable.

I hear nothing, so I leave my bags by the front door. She is probably outside by the shed or trimming up the plants from the winter. The smells of old garbage hit my nose and I immediately make a face, trying to cover the smell with my shirt.

“Mimi!” I announce again, muffled under my shirt.

Entering the kitchen and living room, sunlight streams in. I scan the area and see a mass of flies swarming the trash. Lifting my eyes, my stomach twists even further in on itself. Chills taking over my body as I scan the room until it smacks me in the face.

I pause when I see her. Sitting in her chair. As always.

Eyes wide, staring toward the water outside. She is blue and slumped over so her head is on the back of the chair. Grey hair pushed back with a green headband. Looking as peaceful as ever, as my heart shatters. Dropping to the floor, I scream until my throat gives out and everything goes black.