Page 36

Story: Ball For Me

Chapter 35

Ainsley

E ach day feels like a week right now. However, in reality, it has been ten days since I came to the cottage to escape the sports media drama of Shawn, and my soul was shattered as my Mimi, my sweet soul of a grandma, left us.

Fuck. I miss them so much. I turn over and scream into my pillow. Shawn has been out here every other day, Luna and Blaze tagging along with him. He keeps his distance. I’m sure Millie and Liam told him to because the idea of him trying to explain why he lied to me feels like it would ruin me.

My mom just about picked out our wedding colors right then and there when she saw him first show up with a trunk full of flowers. I turned and went to my room, locking the door.

I want him. I need him.

I have avoided him for days, but he still comes. At this point, I know he is bringing the dogs because they can give me the comfort I long for, getting all the snuggles I can. Then, he always leaves Timmie’s on the counter. The days he doesn’t come out, he sends so many flowers, it’s getting ridiculous. My mom loved it at first. He also sent her a bouquet, but now that I’m here on my own, Millie and Soph drop in from time to time.

The smell of lilies fills the house as I roll over, staring up at the ceiling.

A knock on the front door echoes down the hall. I stare at the ceiling harder, squinting my eyes, trying to will the person to either go away or drop off what they need and move along. I don’t hear a second knock, so I close my eyes at the little win of my mind power working.

I lay there, absorbing my new life. This house. These smells. This town, but no Mimi.

Tears start to fall again. It seems like they’re an endless faucet these days, and I close my eyes to test my mind powers again, willing my tears to stop.

A wave in my stomach hits. Shit. This has been happening ever since I found Mimi. Fuck.

My mind flashes to the scene I walked into days ago. Another wave of nausea hits me, and this one is so big I sit up and make a run for the toilet. Hurling up anything still left in my stomach, I then wipe down my face with a damp wash cloth. I look into the mirror, barely recognizing the girl staring back at me. Green and black flannel pajama pants, a green sweatshirt that I have worn for at least the past three days, and my hair in a messy bun. But now it looks like the back of my hair is just matted together.

I make my way to see what was left at the front door. Opening the front door, to see a set of flowers, a bag of Timmies, and two cardboard boxes. I go to lift the boxes, but they are so heavy I take the tape off and look inside. There is a note on top of a plastic bag, the familiar smell of earthy must flooding my senses.

Inhaling deeply, I decide to text him to meet up. I need to just get this over with, so I can take all the fuckery that is my life and then figure out how I move on from it all.

I bring the flowers and treats inside and set them on the kitchen island. Breathing in the flowers reminds me of springtime in the garden. I take a double-double and walk to the back double doors, looking over the water. So serene. I hope this is what Mimi felt as she left us. Peace. More tears fall, and I go back to the kitchen to shove a Timbit in my mouth hoping that stops the crying.

My eyes catch the back bedroom door. Mimi’s room. I still have yet to go inside.

This home. My home now. Still feels like it will always be hers. I’m overwhelmed with memories. Mornings making scones, evenings making chili, gardening together, her teaching me how to throw my first bowl. I whip around to look for it on the coffee table, but I don’t see it. Where is it? I’ll have to find it. Maybe she put it in her room. I head to her door, but I am stopped by my phone ringing.

Shit.

I look at my phone, and it’s an unknown number, so I answer in case it’s any updates from the paperwork we have been sorting through for Mimi.

“Hello?” I say hesitantly.

“Yes, is this Ms. Harris?”

“Um, yes? Can I ask who is calling?”

“Of course! This is the nurse at your primary care physician’s office. We received your blood work a little over a week ago, and we wanted to call you to review the results.”

“Right. Yes, of course. It was a highly stressful time, and I just felt faint from all that had occurred.”

“We completely understand. Everyone handles hard moments differently. Are you still experiencing any symptoms or signs of extreme stress?”

“Well, I’m tired all the time, crying all the time. Sometimes, if I think too long about my grandmother’s passing, I throw up.”

“Of course, sweetie. It was a hard thing that you had to deal with, totally normal. However, there could be a reason that you’re feeling these things even more than normal.”

I sigh. This girl must know about Shawn, freaking media. FML.

“Yeah, the media caught my boyfriend out with another woman on the same night I found my grandmother.” She gasps on the other end of the phone.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry. Well, um, maybe this isn’t the best news then, but, um, Ms. Harris. You’re pregnant.”

No. Nope. No way. No way on this green motherfucking Earth I just heard that right.

I put the phone on speaker and place it on the counter as I pace the room.

“I’m sorry, you said what now?”

“Ainsley, you’re pregnant. We would love to get you in for an appointment as soon as possible to see how far along you are and make sure everything is okay.”

“Um, what? Are you sure you’re looking at my lab results?” She takes in a breath for a moment and then stops.

“Yes ma’am. It’s yours. Are you saying you haven’t had sexual intercourse over the past couple of months?”

Another wave of nausea and tears hit me at the same time. Fuck. This can’t be happening. Why does everything fucking crazy in life happen in three’s? Shawn, Mimi, this baby? How am I going to figure this shit out?

“No ma’am, I have. I just am on the pill.”

“Of course, I understand, dear. But you know, sometimes the timing for that is just off, and it’s not as effective.”

“Sure. Okay.”

I nod like that can’t be true. Not the fact that I have been fucking Shawn multiple times a day with no protection other than the pill. I’m so stupid.

The poor lady stays on the phone with me, rattling off vitamins and things I can take to help the nausea for now as my head still spins. No way I am pregnant. With a child.

Duh, Ainsley, you aren’t pregnant with some Timbits. Of course, it’s with a child. Shawn’s child.

Fuck. Tears keep leaking down my face.

I thank the nurse for her time and schedule an appointment to go get lubed up and looked at. Then I immediately go find my slippers and keys. Running to the car, I climb inside and hit reverse hard. I grab my phone and hit the call button. I know I can’t call Millie or Liam. They would just tell each other, and then my parents would find out somehow. That somehow being Liam’s big ass mouth.

Fuck. I should really call Shawn, but we just need to talk about so much, and my heart couldn’t bear rejection from him. Honestly, I owe him a conversation in person, not over the phone, at the very least. Gosh, what is actually happening to my life? I should have known it was too good, too sweet, too perfect. I shake my head for not being more cautious in all areas of my life.

“Babe, I miss you. How are you?” Soph rings through the car.

I’m breathing heavily like I just ran a marathon.

“Emergency. Don’t tell anyone. Just get here when you can.”

“Oh shit. Got it! I’m about to go to lunch, so I’ll let them know I won’t be back for the rest of the day. Be there as soon as I can. Probably just a few hours.”

“Thanks, Soph.”

“Sure thing. Keep your chin up. I’ll see you soon!”