Page 81 of Bad For Me (Rock Canyon, Idaho 5)

“Except when I try, it’s like I clam up.”

“But why? What are you so afraid of?”

“How is he going to feel when I start dumping my dark-and-twisty past all over him?” Callie asked, a lump of emotion in her throat. “With you, we’re friends. We’re not looking into the possibility that we could build a life together, a life that could snap in half if I go off the rails. After what his dad put him through, I’m still surprised he took a chance on me.”

“Okay, hold up. You went on a major bender, true, but then you cleaned up, got your shit together, and have been sober as a judge ever since. Do you have plans to go totally off the deep end?”

“No, but how many recovering alcoholics do you know who plan to start drinking again?” Callie asked.

“Okay, point taken, but you are fully committed to not letting that happen, so if you ask me, that’s not something you need to be stressing about.” Caroline grabbed a handful of popcorn and tossed some back, chewing as she continued. “And as for the past, why don’t you start by sharing something with him, give him a little taste that says you’re trying to move on and you want to move on with him? And if he doesn’t take the gesture as the freaking diamond it is, then to hell with him.”

“I’d hardly call my past a diamond.?

? Maybe a lump of coal. “The thing is, he is this amazingly tender guy who’s been through his own hell, and yet, he still sees joy and beauty in life.” Dashing at her wet cheeks, Callie laughed at herself. “I swear, I have cried and felt more since meeting Everett than I have in years.”

“And this is a good thing? Crying? Drama?” Caroline’s tone said she was crazy if she said yes.

“No! I mean . . . being with him is like waking from a nightmare.” It sounded cheesy even to her ears and when she caught Caroline’s wide smile, she wished she’d kept her mouth shut.

“You love him.”

Callie choked on her popcorn. “What?”

Caroline sat back against the couch, shaking her head. “Oh, believe me, I fought it too, but you are so over the moon for that man, you are practically dancing on a layer of clouds.”

“I am not. I like him. I respect and admire him, but it’s too soon to drop the L-bomb.”

“Deny it all you want, but so far tonight, I’ve called him a dirty dog, an asshole, and a prick. But every time I try to trash-talk Everett, you defend him.” Caroline looked like she was adding the final piece to a puzzle in her mind, and Callie would have denied it, but it was true.

“To be fair, I’ve only defended him because he hasn’t done anything wrong. I’m the one acting crazy.”

“If you don’t act crazy, then how is he going to know you really care?” Caroline flipped her hair and did a Valley Girl impression. “You would be like, ‘Pshaw, I can do better,’ if he meant nothing to you.”

“How would you know?” Callie asked, rubbing at her tear-filled eyes. “You’ve never seen me broken up over a guy before. Maybe that’s just my defense mechanism—to pretend like I don’t care.”

“Aw, we are so alike. I knew there was a reason we were friends.” Caroline set her bowl of popcorn down. “Is this where I hug you and say, ‘There, there’?”

“I think so,” Callie said, sniffling again.

Caroline scooted across the couch and put her arms around Callie’s shoulders. “There, there.”

“Thank you.” Callie lay her head against her friend’s and closed her eyes as the seconds ticked by.

“Can I stop now?” Caroline asked.

“God, yes.”

Both of them laughed as they pulled away, but Callie was the first to sober. “So how do I fix this?”

“It sounds to me like you both want the same things, but you’re being a chickenshit about it. So you have two choices: suck it up and let him in, or move on. My sister Ellie is always saying the best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one.”

But it wasn’t about sex, it was about the way Everett made her feel—like she’d been brought out of the darkness and back into the sunlight. How could she give that up when she hadn’t even known she was missing it?

Chapter Nineteen

“COME ON, CALLIE, work with us. We only have three weeks until the shower.”

Callie looked up from her phone, which hadn’t so much as beeped in twelve hours. “What?”