Page 109 of Bad For Me (Rock Canyon, Idaho 5)

He didn’t say more, but she could tell he was angry now. Just as she was calm and serene, he was jerking on his clothes and cursing.

And then she remembered the look in his eyes, that bleakness. That void. She had used Everett to make herself feel better, and he’d let her.

Even though it had hurt him.

Maybe when she’d told Tristan she deserved to be punished, she’d been right.

She picked up her pants and dressed quietly, regret twisting her guts up inside. She’d taken out the worst parts of herself on Everett, and he’d done what she asked because he wanted to help, to make her feel better. She picked up her shoes and went around the side of the truck.

And as she climbed inside, she was sure that Tristan had killed a small part of her soul all those years ago.

But if she wasn’t careful, she could do the same thing to Everett.

Chapter Twenty-Five

EVERETT PULLED INTO Callie’s driveway an hour and a half later, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from yelling. He should have just kept driving instead of pulling off the road to try and comfort her. Whatever had happened during the conversation with Tristan had caused Callie to lash out violently. He’d been afraid she’d hurt herself or do something stupid.

“Fuck me.”

And he had. He’d given her exactly what she’d asked for, only when it was over, he’d felt empty. And he’d hated himself for it.

Putting the truck in park, he sat staring ahead, waiting for her to say something.

“Thanks for taking me and I’m . . . I’m sorry.”

Gripping the steering wheel, he wanted to ask what she was sorry about, but he held it in.

“I guess . . . ”

“I can’t do this, Callie.” The words cost him, but he couldn’t fix her. He couldn’t make her love herself. Couldn’t make her forgive herself so she could move on and be happy.

All he could do was give her the freedom to do it herself.

“What?”

“I thought that if I could just teach you to trust me, this could work, but I feel like every time I uncover something from your past, another shadow pops up, and I’m just playing whack-a-mole. You keep punishing yourself for something that happened to you, and today you used me to do it. And I let you, because I love you. If you were dealing with it and getting through it, then I could wait, but you aren’t dealing. You’re not moving on, and I can’t have a future with someone who won’t let go of her past.”

Callie didn’t say anything for a minute, and then finally: “Okay.”

“Okay?” he said.

“You’re right. Maybe I’m not ready for this. Maybe I still need time to deal.”

The wobble in her voice told him she wasn’t as calm as she wanted him to think.

“I love you, Callie. You know it, and I know it, but I won’t wait forever. You need to decide what you want.”

Before she left, he needed to give her one last kiss that wasn’t angry or hurt or raw.

He wanted it to be about love. And hope.

Everett stroked her cheek until she raised those beautiful eyes to his, and then he kissed her, softly, sweetly, like it was the first time.

And possibly the last.

He pulled back, tracing his thumb across her skin before his hand fell away.

“If you can’t forgive yourself, Callie, then you can’t move on. And I deserve someone who loves me enough to let go.”