Page 48

Chapter Forty-Eight

Storm

After lying together for a long time, covered in sweat, cum, saliva, and maybe tears because I can’t be sure Gabriel wasn’t crying, we get up and go shower. Wordlessly, we wash each other, then get out and find clothes to get dressed.

“Are you hungry?” he asks.

“Yeah, I could eat.”

He nods, leaving his bedroom. I follow after him, not missing the solemn tones in the air.

I’d come here with the intention of talking to him, not fucking him. I can’t tell if he regrets it, and that’s what’s bothering me right now.

Gabriel has always done so well communicating with me. Even when it was hard, he did his best because I told him it was necessary. He respected me in that way. Now, it’s my turn to communicate and hope like hell he’ll listen to what I have to say.

I sit at the dining table as he moves around the kitchen. It’s exactly what we used to do every morning, yet it’s different this time. Which is all my fault. I left him, and I shouldn’t have done that.

There isn’t a word spoken as I watch him gather things he needs to make breakfast. It’s only when he dips the sliced bread into the bowl he was whisking that I get up and go over to the counter.

“You’re making French Toast?” I ask.

“Yes,” he says simply, putting the dipped bread beside the other in the pan.

“But it’s not Wednesday.”

“But it’s your favorite,” he responds simply.

“But it’s not Wednesday,” I repeat.

Gabriel sighs, going to the sink to wash his hands.

“Gabriel?” I say. He looks up at me. “You don’t have to do this for me.”

He looks like he wants to say something but won’t, or maybe he’s scared? So I go to him, cupping his face. “What? Tell me.”

He chews on the corner of his lip for a moment before he says, “It’s your favorite, and I want you to have a good breakfast.”

My heart soars at his words, and no matter how I were to say thank you, it wouldn’t be enough. So I lean in and kiss him. He sighs, hands coming up to grip my forearms. I press my forehead to his. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

I drop my hands and step back. “Do you need help?”

He laughs—actually laughs. “Things haven’t changed that much. Go sit down.”

With a smile, I go back to my seat and watch him. When he’s just about done, I get up to make a cup of coffee and a cup of tea for him. We finish at about the same time, and then we’re sitting down for breakfast.

“This is delicious,” I tell him.

“Of course it is,” he says, reaching for his tea.

We finish eating in silence, and when we’re done, he cleans up. When the sink is free of dirty dishes, he turns to face me, resting against the counter.

He’s so beautiful, standing there in a pair of plaid pajama pants and a t-shirt. Something I’ve never seen him wear before. He always wears matching pajama sets.

“We should talk,” I say softly.

I don’t miss the way his face falls. He nods and moves toward the living room. I follow after him and we sit on the couch, which isn’t something we did often, so it’s sort of weird now. And it doesn’t help that it stays silent for far too long. There is so much I need to say, but I have no idea where to begin. I need to say something before I screw this all up too.

“I’m sorry if that was too much,” Gabriel eventually whispers.

“What? No, Gabriel. It wasn’t.” I shake my head, shifting to face him more and take his hand.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. It wasn’t too much at all. It was perfect.”

He nods, eyes going toward the floor. “I looked for you.”

I barely hear those words, but I do hear them. Though they should make me happy, they only make me feel like shit for making him have to do that.

“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have had to do that.”

“I went to Kauai.”

He did what?

“What? When?”

He looks at me from the corner of his eye. “I got back last night.”

“No way.” He nods. What the hell? “I got back from Kauai last night.”

He frowns, turning to face me fully. “You were there?”

“Yeah, I was with Dominic and Mikah. I needed… I just needed some space, I guess.”

“Where were you? I was there, looking for you. I went to the hotel we stayed at and…”

This is unbelievable. He was there, and he was looking for me?

“I didn’t stay at that hotel. I stayed at the one Dominic and Mikah stayed at. They got kicked out of that one.” His eyebrows shoot up, and I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah… They’re animals.”

He gives a little laugh before pulling his attention from me again.

“I’m sorry,” I finally say, my voice breaking. “I’m sorry for hurting you, for leaving you, for everything.”

He licks his lips, taking a deep breath. “Thank you for that, but maybe I should speak first.”

“Okay, sure.”

He clasps his hands together and rests them in his lap. It takes a few seconds, but finally he starts to speak.

“I’ve never felt this before. Nothing even remotely close to it. The way I felt when you left, it was… crushing. In a completely different way than being left at the altar and then having my parents disown me.”

“Gabriel…”

“Let me finish.” I nod, and he keeps going. “It took a while to understand what was going on, and why it was so hard when you left.” He looks up at me, his grey eyes bright with unshed tears. “I’ve never truly loved someone until I met you, Storm.” Fuck, my heart… “I thought I did, because my parents and brothers are people I should have loved, and so I thought that’s what it was. But being with you, even as a friend, it’s… You’ve allowed me to be myself, you accepted me for who I am. You made me laugh and calmed me down and supported me. It’s okay if you don’t want this with me, but I need you to know that I do. That I want to be with you. That I love you and everything about you. And I want to make us a home together and a life, and I promise to never ever leave you because I know how much that will hurt you and I don’t want to hurt you, Storm.”

A tear slips free from his eye and he wipes it away. It makes me so fucking angry with myself. Really sad too. I don’t want him upset. I like when he’s happy and smiling and being his weird self.

“This is all so much for me,” he continues. “I have no idea what I’m doing or how to do it, and you’ll have to keep being patient with me, but my god, you are so patient with me already that I think you can do it. But this isn’t just about me and what I want, but what you want. And I’m sorry if this is scaring you, but I have to be honest. I promised myself I would do that. And so, here I am, spilling my guts to you and probably looking like a psycho because I need you to know how I feel.” He looks up at me, eyes wide. “I love you. I am so sure about it that it makes me sick. I love everything about you. I love the way you make me feel. I love how we are together. I love making breakfast for you. And my god, I really love having sex with you.”

I huff out a laugh, ducking my head.

Those words… I expected them to scare the shit out of me. I anticipated running for the hills when someone said that to me, but it isn’t how I feel at all.

“Storm…” I look up, feeling my own eyes watering. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I don’t want to make you feel bad. I needed to do this for myself.”

I need to say something, need to tell him how I feel too, but my throat is so tight words won’t come out.

“I’m not trying to guilt you. You need to do what’s best for you, but I just have to be honest. Lay all the cards out,” he adds.

I open my mouth, but it snaps shut. I clear my throat, but the lump is still there the size of a grapefruit.

Gabriel gives me a small, sad smile, then gets to his feet and moves toward the stairs, but I get up too and grab his arm.

“No,” I finally growl out. “You do not get to walk away from me.” My words are so raspy, but I pull Gabriel to me, wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his neck. Tears actually fall now, but when his arms come around me, they really fucking fall. I sob like a baby against him. All the while, he soothes me with soft words, running his hands along my back and rocking us side to side.

Eventually, I pull myself together. “I’m sorry,” I manage to say as I pull back.

He wipes the tears from my face. “For what?” he asks.

“Everything.” I shrug. “For being so broken inside, but acting so strong on the outside. It wasn’t fair to you.”

“I think we’re all a little broken on the inside,” he says. “And I’m okay with that. You helped me see that my broken things weren’t as ugly as I was always told, and Storm?” I look up to meet his eyes, wanting to respond verbally, but I can’t. “I’m going to do the same for you.”

Tears fall again, and I feel like such an idiot. I can’t even keep my shit together.

Gabriel pulls me in for a hug again, and it feels so good to have someone care. Someone who just gets it and actually cares that I’m not okay. Someone who knows that I’m not okay, even though I act like I am and have for years.

When I get myself together again, I take in a deep breath and use my shirt to wipe my face free of tears. I clear my throat and say, “I want to stay here with you, Gabriel. I want a life with you. I’m sorry it took me to leave to admit it. I have a lot of shit to work on, especially after my mom and…”

“I’m here for you.”

I nod. “I know.”

He smiles at me, and I smile back. I lean in to kiss him because I can’t help it, and when I pull back, I grip his face making sure he’s looking right into my eyes.

“I love you too.”

His eyes widen, and I give the smallest nod. “I do. I love you, and it scared the hell out of me. But I don’t want to live my life like that anymore. I want to be with you. I want us to have a life together.”

The sigh of relief that leaves him is almost comical. “I am so glad to hear you say that. I was freaking out.”

I chuckle, hugging him again.

“I have one question though,” I say.

“What?” he asks.

“You said you wouldn’t leave me.” He nods carefully, and so I say, “Even if I forget to put the toilet seat down?”

“That’s debatable,” he says with a smile, before leaning in to give me another kiss.