Page 52

52

DEATH

“The flock remembers a lamb that was led astray. The shadows remember a soul that finally found its way.” ~ Anonymous

“Where are you taking me?”

Ella’s laughter echoed through the air, a stark contrast to the quiet terror that still lingered in our minds after her kidnapping. The scent of spring blossoms filled our senses, a reminder of the world moving on while we did the same one day at a time.

After Ella’s abduction, Sebastian and I made a pact to spend more of our days with our family, to make sure they felt safe and loved. Despite not being able to switch back and forth at will, we were always aware of each other’s presence and could sense each other’s minds.

“This way, little lamb.” I slipped my arm around her waist and led her to the rose garden in Portland. Cami had taken care of Ella’s hair and makeup under the guise that I was taking Ella on a special date, and I was. The tricky part had been to blindfold her and have Cami help her get dressed. Their giggles had filled the bed and breakfast we’d rented out. Sebastian and I weren’t sure how we were going to keep all of this a secret from Ella, but Kip, Dope, Ryan, and Cami had been excited to help. At one point, when we were all making plans while Ella was giving the kids a bath, the tension between Ryan and Cami had reached new heights. I glowered at them and said, “This is Ella’s day we’re planning. So whatever is still between you two, fuck it out, and get over it.”

“Oh, shit. My heel just sunk into the grass.” Ella tugged on my arm, stopping me while she tried to work her shoe out of the dirt while blindfolded.

“I’ve got it.” Cami hurried to her best friend and freed the shoe. “There ya go.” She brushed off her hands, giving me a big grin. We’d come a long way, and I was grateful for Ella’s sake. The only reason Cami was important to me was because she was my little lamb’s best friend, and the kids loved her too. It was good enough for me, and I’d made a huge effort not to terrify her. Every once in a while, I couldn’t help myself, though.

“Be still, little lamb,” I said, before I scooped her up in my arms and carried her the rest of the way.

“I might like this,” she whispered against my ear and nipped at my neck.

“You’re making me hard. Stop. We will have plenty of time for that later.”

“Oh, so serious.” Her joking tone was peace to my ears.

“You have no idea,” I muttered, wishing I could adjust myself but we had an audience. I slowed when we reached our destination. “I’m going to set you down.” I lowered her until her feet touched the ground and she gained her balance.

“Ma-Ma!” the kids squealed in unison.

“Can I see now?” She asked, her question brimming with curiosity.

I removed her blindfold, carefully in order not to mess up her hair. Cami had threatened my life if I didn’t protect her work of art. I resisted the urge to tell her that Ella was already a work of art, but for once I kept my mouth closed.

Ella’s green eyes filled with wonder as she looked around. Dope wore a black suit with a white dress shirt and blue tie. Kip also wore a black suit, but his tie was crimson and matched mine. Cami and the twins stood on the opposite side of the men, dressed in red and black. Even though it was spring, the colors were fitting, plus I had insisted on them.

“What’s happening?” Her gaze landed on the few seats and her smile grew. “Why is everyone so dressed up?” She glanced down at her red dress and gasped. “Death, what’s going on?”

No white for my Ella—I knew better than anyone the stains we both carried. How fitting that I chose the color of blood, the shade that had marked every significant moment of our shared history.

I lowered to one knee. “You married the wrong man,” I growled as I reached into the inside jacket pocket and produced a wedding ring set. I lifted the lid, and the two-carat princess cut diamond sparkled in the sunlight. Sebastian and I had agreed on the engagement band, but the smaller diamonds on each side were carefully chosen by me.

“Marry me, little lamb. Make me whole.”

The seconds ticked by as she stared at me in awe, love and astonishment flashing over her beautiful face. “Of course I’ll marry you, Death,” she whispered.

She extended her hand, and I carefully removed her current wedding set and slipped them into my pocket.

Dope cleared his throat and rocked back on his heels. “Are we ready to perform the ceremony?” He grinned as if he had just ended world hunger.

Standing before her, I felt the familiar sensation of being co-conscious with Sebastian, both of us present in this moment. The crimson of her dress caught the light, and I appreciated how she wore something that acknowledged both sides of who we were—both Sebastian and me.

When it came time for our vows, I felt myself emerge fully, my voice carrying the deeper timbre that Ella had learned to recognize as mine. “I came into existence to protect Sebastian, to carry his pain. But you, Ella—you saw me as more than just a protector. You understood that I wasn’t simply a fragment of darkness. You recognized me as my own self, while still loving the whole of who we are.”

My hands—our hands—reached for hers, steadier than Sebastian’s would have been in this moment. “I’ve spent years existing in the shadows of Sebastian’s life, emerging only in moments of necessity. But you brought me into the light. You showed me that I could be more than just the keeper of his trauma. That I could love … that I could build something of my own while still remaining part of him.”

As I lost myself in her presence, I was drawn to the light she carried within her even as it illuminated the shadows that clung to me like a second skin. And as I looked into Ella’s eyes once more, I knew without a shadow of doubt that our journey together would be paved with unspeakable horrors and twisted pleasures beyond imagining. She was my Queen—my scarlet lamb, and I would lay down my life for her. My throat tightened with emotions so deep for this woman, I wasn’t sure how to manage them. I turned my attention back to the ceremony.

“I vow to protect you, not just as Sebastian’s protector, but as someone who loves you in my own right. I won’t promise that things will be simple—living with our system never is. But I swear that both of us, Sebastian and I, will love you with everything we are.”

The space between my consciousness and Sebastian’s blurred as I finished. “In every moment, whether I’m present or within, whether you’re speaking to him or to me, you are part of us both. This I vow, as Death, as part of Sebastian, and your husband.”

Looking into her eyes, I saw no fear, no hesitation, only love of both sides of who we were. Ella was unafraid of the darkness that lurked inside me, and a sense of euphoria washed over me. The cold grip of my past sins loosened its hold as I gazed into her trusting face, filled with a love so pure it felt like a blade slicing through my twisted soul. Her unwavering acceptance of my duality, the light and the shadow intertwined within me, was a balm to my tormented spirit.

“I have a confession,” she said, her cheeks reddening slightly. “I wrote vows for you a long time ago.” Her fingers tightened around mine as she began.

The corners of my mouth lifted. “I’m ready to hear them, little lamb.”

She cleared her throat before she started.

“Death, when I first fell in love with Sebastian, I knew I was falling in love with all of him, but you were an added bonus. Some might call what we have complicated, but to me, it’s beautifully simple. I love every part of who you both are. When you emerge, I don’t see darkness or fear. I see strength, safety, and a love so fierce it takes my breath away.”

Her voice wavered slightly, but her gaze remained steady on mine. “I vow to be your safe harbor, just as you’ve been ours. When you surface, you’ll never need to hide or retreat. I promise to love you as your own self, while honoring the beautiful complexity of who you and Sebastian are together. I won’t ever ask you to be less than what you are—a warrior, a part of the man I love.”

A tear slipped down her cheek, but her smile was radiant. “I vow to stand beside both of you. To be strong when Sebastian needs softness, and gentle when you need rest. To understand your silences and your storms. To never make you choose between being his protector and being yourself.”

She reached up to touch my face, a gesture so tender it made even my hardened heart ache. “This is my promise to you, Death. To love you wholly, to accept you completely, and to walk beside you both in this beautiful, complex life we’re building together.”

I felt Sebastian stir within our consciousness, equally moved by her words, our shared love for her creating a perfect moment of harmony between us.

I slipped the wedding rings on her finger, then Kip offered her a new band for me. It was a two-tone white and yellow gold that symbolized both Sebastian and me.

Ella’s eyes misted over as she looked up at me.

I lowered my mouth to her ear and whispered. “Little lamb, you’re the flicker of light in my dark, dark world. The color in my grayscale existence. I yearn for you like the night yearns for the stars.”

As we were pronounced husband and wife, a chilling realization crept over me. She was now entwined with me not just in love but in sin. A twisted smile tugged at the corners of my lips before I leaned in and kissed her. In that instant, I realized that she was mine in every sense of the word, bound to me not just by love but by the darkness that stained my soul.

As the last rays of sunlight painted the sky in deep crimsons and golds, I felt myself beginning to recede, letting Sebastian emerge fully to share the experience. In that space between, where our consciousness merged, we were united in a single thought. She was ours, and we were hers, in all our broken, beautiful imperfection.

Ella’s fingers intertwined with ours, and I caught her secret smile. The one that said she knew exactly who she was looking at in this moment of transition. She’d once told us that loving us was like watching the sun and moon share the same sky, each essential, each beautiful in their own right.

As Sebastian took control, his love flowing alongside mine, I carried this truth with me into our shared depths. Some people spend their whole lives searching for someone to accept their darkness. We’d found someone who not only accepted it but saw it as an essential part of who we were—guardian and protected, darkness and light, Sebastian and Death.

In the end, that’s what love really was. Not the absence of shadows but having someone who would walk with you through them, hand in hand, unafraid.