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ELLA

Cami sniffled, then blew her nose and tossed the tissue in the small wastebasket. “I’m so relieved you’re home.”

When she patted the mattress next to her, I couldn’t move. My heart pounded against my ribcage as my eyes widened in terror — the bed was alive with thousands of writhing spiders. The room swirled around me and I tried to convince myself that it was just an illusion, that I was safe in the presence of my best friend. But every fiber of my being was on the verge of complete panic, teetering on the edge of a breakdown.

“Ella, I’ve known you for a long time, and you’re not okay. You’re hiding it well, but not well enough. There’s no way that you’re okay after being kidnapped.”

My hand shook uncontrollably as her voice brought me back to the present, and I spilled my terrifying ordeal to Cami. The memory of Xavier, his deranged family, the claustrophobic cage, and the scuttling spiders made me feel like I was suffocating all over again. As her expression twisted into one of pure horror and pity, a heavy weight settled in my chest. I didn’t want anyone’s sympathy. I just wanted to forget it all, but the trauma had a tight grip on me. The guys were on high alert, determined to keep me safe from any potential threats, but I couldn’t shake off the constant fear. Every little sound sent shivers down my spine and sleep was elusive as I relived the nightmare in my dreams. But even though I desperately needed to talk about it, I couldn’t bring myself to revisit those memories anymore.

“I’ll get through it. No one has really said much, but I’m sure they’re looking for Xavier, the man that kept me prisoner.” I was happy to redirect the conversation from me to him at least.

Cami wrapped her arm around my shoulder. “Who is? Sebastian or Death?”

My head spun so quick my neck popped.

“What?” My pulse spiked fast and hard with the realization that Cami had mentioned Death. Maybe that’s what Sebastian was trying to tell me before Cami opened the front door. But this was really important, and I didn’t understand why the guys hadn’t talked to me about it. Maybe because I’d been kidnapped, died, and hospitalized. They probably wanted to protect me and hoped Cami would wait until I’d settled in back at the penthouse.

“Death. Sebastian’s alter … the serial killer. Why didn’t you ever tell me? Do you know how terrifying it was to see Sebastian turn into a cold-hearted monster right in front of me? And … son of a bitch, Ella. He was the reason you were taken in the first place. Then …” She hopped off the bed and paced, her legs shaking. “Kip, Dope, Ryan, and you have all been covering for him. He’s a killer. Like how long have you known? Before or after you married him and had his kids?” She threw her hands in the air, exasperated.

My heart lodged itself in my throat as I struggled to form coherent words. I wasn’t expecting this, and she’d completely caught me off guard. The room spun, and I rubbed my arms, reminding myself I was safe at home. If I could deal with Xavier, I could deal with my best friend being an insensitive brat. We’d all been through hell, and I needed to remember that so I didn’t slap her upside the head. Irritated with her timing, I prepared myself for her questions.

“Cami, before we have this conversation, you have to promise me that you won’t turn us in. Not any of us. No cops, no FBI, or anything close to that. If I tell you, then you’re in this with us. Hell, you already are. You’ve been with the kids while I was kidnapped and learned the truth, but you stayed, which now makes you an accessory. You understand that, right?”

“I stayed under duress, afraid for the kids’ lives!”

“And you’re still here, so that won’t hold up in court,” I spat. My patience had worn thin with this woman who dared to threaten the safety and stability of my family. But she took care of your kids, so maybe you’re the one being a brat? A twinge of guilt nudged me.

She stared at me, her mouth agape in shock as she struggled to form a response. “You wouldn’t,” she finally managed to choke out.

“But you would? You’re angry at me for even mentioning the idea of us testifying against you, but you wouldn’t hesitate to testify against all of us?” My body shook with rage as I confronted her.

I couldn’t believe that after everything we had been through, she would be willing to tear us apart. As if I hadn’t already been through enough hell, now she wanted to discuss my husband and his involvement in this mess.

I collapsed onto the bed, my head hanging low as waves of frustration and exhaustion washed over me. Cami’s need for answers was understandable. Sometimes I forgot that my life wasn’t the norm, and I couldn’t expect Cami to get on board with it. She was scared for me and my children, but her careless words only added fuel to the fire. How could I handle such a bombshell on top of everything else?

Cami grabbed my hand, and her eyes filled with fear and concern. “Tell me the truth, Ella. Are you being held against your will? Do we need to get you and the kids out of here?”

I looked at her, my heart softening as I realized how much she didn’t grasp. How could she possibly comprehend? “It’s not like that,” I choked out, my voice shaking.

“Then what is it like?” Her grip on my hand tightened even more. “Explain it to me, Ella. Help me understand why you’re still here.”

“Give me your word, unbreakable and ironclad, that this conversation will never leave this room. No authorities of any kind, and no way for us to be put in even more danger than we already are. Think of my children, Cami. They could be taken away from me any second.” Tears spilled down my cheeks, my soul shattering into a million pieces at the thought of losing my twins.

My entire world hung in the balance, and it all depended on Cami’s decision at that moment. The weight of her influence over my future was suffocating.

Cami’s leg bounced nervously as she considered her options. Time seemed to crawl by, each second dragging on like an eternity. I stood up, ready to leave if her silence was an indication of betrayal. We needed to get out of here, and fast. She had the power to turn us in, and I couldn’t afford to stick around and find out if she would. We had to flee immediately.

“It seems your decision is already made. Take care, Cami. No matter what, I’ll always love you like my sister. I’m sorry it’s come to this.” I turned away, holding back the tears. I wasn’t sure how I’d escaped my kidnapper and then returned here to lose my best friend. If I’d said it once, I’d said it a thousand times. I would do anything to keep my family safe. I opened the door and left the room, my feet taking me straight to my husband and children, who were playing in their playpen together. “Babe?”

“Hey, how did it go?” Sebastian asked.

I wrung my hands, dreading telling him that we had to leave and hide for the rest of our lives. That our babies wouldn’t know their grandparents or grow up at our beautiful home in New York or the penthouse. That we would be looking over our shoulders even more than we already were. A sob lodged in my throat.

“Not good. We should?—”

“Wait.”

I turned to see Cami staring at me and Sebastian, then her attention landed on the kids. “You have my word. Besides, I’m already involved as you said. But, I have to know the kids are safe from …” She cleared her throat and looked at my husband. “Death.”

Sebastian rose and approached her. Cami’s fingers clenched and unclenched, and from her body language she was trying not to take a step back from him.

Sebastian shoved his hands in his pockets, as if trying to defuse the situation with a non-threatening stance. I’d seen him do it with some of the women he and the Society had saved. “He loves them, Cami. That’s one thing I know for sure. He loves Ella and the kids, and he’d never hurt them. You have my word on that.”

Cami nodded and turned to me. “Okay, I really thought I could call the FBI, but I can’t, Ella. I’m so sorry. I guess I’m just as messed up in the head as the rest of the group. If you’re with him, there has to be more to it, so come back and talk to me. You have my word that I won’t turn on any of you.”

Verity squealed and giggled her approval.

“Forget it, Sebastian. I thought we were going to have to run, but Cami changed her mind. I’ll be back.” I crossed the room and kissed him. I’d missed his kisses more than I’d allowed myself to admit.

He slipped his arm around me and pulled me to his side. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Okay.” I followed Cami back into the bedroom. The second we were alone again, I burst into tears. “I’m sorry. I really thought that was goodbye.” I leaned against the door to steady myself. “So much has happened, and I’m struggling to get my footing again.”

“I’m a bitch for bringing everything up right now. I’m sorry. It’s a lot to process, and I need answers. I’ve had days to dwell on this, worrying about you and the kids, and trying to understand what was going on … why everyone was just going along with it. It’s not like I can say, well, he might kill someone today, but I’ll ask questions later. These are people and families he’s destroying.”

I pushed off the door and sat down on the edge of the bed again. “You don’t understand. We make sure he’s only killing criminals. Bad ones: the men who sell their children or buy kids to use as sex slaves, murderers the cops can’t catch, and other horrible situations. Sebastian helps relocate the families to keep them safe, and Death well, he deals with the men.”

Her forehead creased as she chewed on what I’d just said. “Men who sell their own children?” Her tone was gentle, and compassion flashed across her pretty features.

“Yeah, and worse if you can imagine that.”

She rubbed her shoulder. “When did you find out?”

“Remember a while back when a masked man appeared at my house, and I called the cops?”

“Yeah. Ryan was one of them that showed up.”

“I didn’t realize you two were interested in each other at the time. Anyway, it was Death. He started appearing more often, and then I was attacked and almost killed by a bastard named Stephen. Death saved me. I wouldn’t be sitting here with you if it weren’t for him. He’s not a bad man, he’s just …”

Cami laughed and rolled her eyes as if she couldn’t believe that we were actually having this conversation. “He’s a good guy that kills bad people. I get it. A vigilante.”

“His parents were brutally murdered in front of him. Dope explained it all to me after I’d fallen in love with Sebastian and … and Death. I love them both. They’re very different men, but they will do anything for me and the kids. It’s a life I won’t apologize for having, and I’ll do anything to protect my husband and family.”

“You proved that a few minutes ago. I think that’s when it hit me, how much you love and trust them. And somewhere inside me, I still trust you even though you hid this dark and twisted secret life from me. And Ryan hid it from me too.” Her voice was laced with sadness that tugged at my heart strings.

“Sometimes it gets really lonely hiding this side of me from everyone. There have been so many times that I needed to talk to you about something, but I had to lean on Kip and Dope instead. I tried to keep you out of all of this, Cami. We all did.”

“I’m sure I’ll have questions, if it’s okay that I talk to you about it all.”

I took her hand in mine. “It will be nice not to have secrets anymore.”

“Agreed. But …”

My heart jackhammered against my ribs, waiting for the other shoe to drop. “What is it?”

“I broke up with Ryan. I couldn’t get past the idea that he helped throw the cops off Death’s trail, and also cleaned up the crime scenes with Kip.”

My body relaxed, the tension draining from my neck and shoulders as I realized she hadn’t changed her mind just now about turning us in. But a gnawing doubt remained, plaguing my thoughts with a relentless question. Could I truly trust her as we moved forward, or would I always be watching her every move with suspicion?

“Oh, Cami, I’m sorry. Are you sure, though? You love Ryan so much.”

Her chin trembled. “I do, but he lied to me.”

“So did I. We all did to protect you and ourselves too. From what I can tell, Ryan would never intentionally put you in harm’s way. You have to believe that.”

She wiped the tear that had snuck down her cheek. “I don’t think I can get past it.”

I slipped my arm around her shoulder and hugged her. “Maybe you just need some time. When I mentioned your name, he seemed so sad, but no one said anything about you two breaking up.”

“I shouldn’t have brought it up tonight either, but clearly I did.” A flicker of regret flashed over her expression.

“It’s okay. I’m glad it’s out in the open and we can talk. It feels better than keeping things from you. You’re my best friend, but even more than that you’re my family. I will always try to do what’s best for you even when you question my choices. In this case it was to keep you out of the chaos I call my life. But don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world,” I said, gently.

“Love ya, bitch.”

“Love you too.”

Over the next several hours, Cami and I talked, laughing over old times, and she asked more questions. I answered them honestly, and as the time ticked by I watched her smile return, which made my heart sing. I didn’t want her to live in fear of Death or Sebastian. And I hoped like hell she would be able to forgive Ryan at some point. I understood how horrible it was to be separated from the people you loved most in this world.

Once Cami and I were caught up, I glanced at my watch. It was time to put the babies to bed for the evening, and I wanted to sing to them as Sebastian and I tucked them in. I promised myself to never take the little moments for granted again, no matter how tired or frazzled I was.