Page 22

Chapter twenty

Nadia

I can’t stop myself even if I wanted to.

When his lips tease across mine, I know I need more. No matter how much of this man I have in my grasp, I’m going to be greedy and demand everything from him. Even though he has nothing to offer me outside of these walls. Pushing up on the toes of my boots, I crush my lips to his then open so he can dive in—his tongue sweeping into my mouth and tangling with my own.

His hands hold desperately onto my vest as I snake my arms up and over his shoulders where mine grip his upper back, nearly every single inch of my body pressing against his.

Politicians make the laws that I will gladly break for Kace. Sell drugs in government facilities to appease the race factions? I’ll do it—I’ve been doing it. No romantic relationships with inmates or face legal persecution? Fucking charge me then. There is no amount of threatening my freedom that will prevent me from feeling what I do for Kace.

I never considered myself a criminal, but the more I fall for this man, the less I care. The more I want, the more I crave.

Gripping harder onto him, I feel his hands release my vest and skim down the sides of my frame until they round the back of my hips and skirt over my ass. He leans enough to reach the back of my thighs, then with a single lift, I am off the ground. My legs wrapping around his waist and my ankles crossing at his lower back.

Focusing on the way he feels against me; I barely notice when the wall we were standing near meets my back. His hips grind into me as we make out like a pair of eager teenagers. Pawing at each other as if we’ve never felt touch that stimulates us and doesn’t make us shy away in fear of pain. Even if he is rough with me, and I with him, I welcome whatever he wants to give.

Touch me.

Hurt me.

… love me.

Breaking the kiss and bringing my hands back to the front of him, I cup his cheeks so I can look at him. The new position allows me to peer down into his face and eyes. Seeing how intoxicated he is off our intense kiss—his pupils blown wide, leaving thin blue circles around them.

There is a pause while we stare into each other, our breaths ragged and needy for the other.

Deep down, I want everything with Kace—everything we can have considering our predicament, that is. Yet, the other side of me knows this is dangerous. I cannot do this, for the safety of my heart. It is me against the world, and I don’t think I have the power in me to allow someone else in. To share my hard life with them. My pain, my fears, the things that keep me up at night. Call me a coward for giving him a piece of myself only to take it away.

“Kace—” I breathe out, an ache setting up in the center of my chest.

“Yeah, baby?” he answers back just as softly.

“I—we can’t do this.”

The way his eyes change from adoration to confusion to frustration in mere seconds is astounding. Despite trying to remain the closed off and guarded prisoner, his face is so damn expressive.

“The hell do you mean?” He clips.

“This, we can’t keep doing this, Kace.”

The world feels like it is racing toward me for a moment when he unravels me from his waist and drops me down to my feet again. He takes a step back to glare at me as I lean against the wall, a little light headed from the whole ordeal.

“Why the fuck do you care now? If you were concerned about anything, you would have stayed the hell away from me from the get go.”

“Kace—I did. After the first—”

“No!” he snaps. “You put me in seg, that wasn’t staying away when all I could hear was your damn voice in my head the entire time.”

“Even the second time! I put dis—”

“Shut your mouth, Nadia. You’ve been here for three years. I remember every single interaction we have ever had. From glances across the rec room to being escorted; hell, even when you slammed me on the ground.”

“I was doing my job, Patton.”

“Don’t fucking ‘Patton’ me, Nadia, I swear to God.”

“I need you to listen to me, what good is going to come from this?”

“You mean, what bad? You only ever seem to focus on the bad shit that happens to you instead of letting yourself move the fuck on. You’ve been angry since when? You were a young girl? What has that gotten you? You work in a maximum-security prison and push blow, only to go home and feel sorry for yourself.”

“How dare you!” I shout.

“I didn’t tell you those things for you to throw them in my goddamn face.” I roar, reaching up, I shove him even further away from me.

“What the hell am I supposed to do if I lose my job?”

Shove.

“Charges, Kace. I can catch worse charges for having sex with you than the ones I will get for selling coke.”

Shove.

“You can never leave Darkwater. Do I just live without you?!”

Shove.

There it is, the underlying issue. I can look past all the problems, but I can’t do this to myself—feel something for someone and never get to have a future with them. What that future could look like, I don’t know.

This is just infatuation, right—then why does this hurt?

“No,” Kace answers, his voice a bit calmer now.

Tilting my head to the side a fraction, I watch him as both of his hands reach up and run through his hair, trying to comb the longer strands back off his forehead. I have no clue what he is thinking, but I can see the gears turning. He’s fighting himself too.

“No?” I ask.

“No, baby. I don’t expect you to live without me. I—I promise I won’t say anything to anyone. I won’t talk to the detective anymore. I’ll do everything in my power to keep you here until you’re ready to leave and move on with your life. Just—please, please let me love you.”

Never thought my heart could truly break, but when he utters those last two words, I feel it crack right down the middle. Other than my friends, no one has ever asked for something so simple, yet so complicated. What do I say? I can barely exhale right now, the thought of this man wanting something as profound as love from me… me… Nadia Pierce.

Before I can refute him, I hear a rush of footsteps around the corner. I don’t know if it’s was a group of inmates or guards, but I have to get him out of here. We were in an unauthorized space, and we will both feel the consequences if we are caught here, so we need to go.

Looking up at him, seeing the uncertainty in his expression, I hold a finger up to my mouth, hoping he understands that I need him to remain silent. Reaching out with my free one, I take his hand in mine and pull him closer to the wall, bringing him out of the open area.

Following my guidance, he steps against the wall and presses his back to it as we both wait it out. Looking to the damaged fencing, my blood roars in my ears, I know, this is it, we were about to be caught. Everything is going to fall apart for the both of us—the very thing I fear. The world is crumbling around me and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

Suddenly, a large guy wrenches the fencing back and steps through. When he stands up straight, he looks over his shoulder and turns to face us, and I visibly relax.

Matias—fucking hell, I’ve never been so glad to see his smug face.

“Yo, Cotton Top, I don’t mean to interrupt. Officer Pierce.” Matias greets as I glare, then he smirks.

I don’t mind him; he is entertaining and he helps me keep Kace safe. While I wasn’t here in the beginning to initiate their friendship, I have worked with Matias in the past to maintain pipelines for his crew as well as securing Kace’s safety.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, amigo, but y’all need to vámonos. The homies are on their way out here to converse with the AB, and neither one of you need to be here for that.”

“Are you spilling gang secrets again, Matias?” I ask.

“Of course not, Senora, just passing along helpful tips. Now get out of here.”

Our cue to leave.

Snatching Kace’s hand, I do not hesitate, quickly dragging him away and back to the rec yard. As soon as we were in the open, I let him go, feeling the cold of the air hit my hand when we part—something I am starting to detest.

I don’t wait before marching to the building. I know there was a lot left hanging between us, and we have shit to talk about, but I can’t do it here and now. It will have to wait for when we can get alone once more, and after taking one hell of a break. I have a lot of things to think about, a lot to wrap my head around.

He wants me to let him love me…

Back inside of the building, I point for Kace to head down the hallway to chow. Our eyes meet for a moment, and I struggle to channel the bitch in me and tell him to get fucking lost. All I can keep replaying is his plea. I wanted to give that to him, but how?

I’m fucked.

“I’ll see you later.” Is all I was able to manage, my throat feeling like it has a noose tied around it.

“Be a good girl.”

Yes Sir.

He turns on his heel and heads in the direction I demanded he go down. My teeth latch on to my bottom lip to keep from smiling. The way he has been making me feel lately has started to catch up with me, and as I stew on it, the less resistant I become.

Shaking off the past hour, I stand at the door and cross my arms as a group of AB saunter up. I know they are making moves to gain power amongst the inmates and as much as I don’t care, I can’t let them do the shit they want when it comes to Kace.

A little bird told me, a while back, that they tried getting details on Kace from the homies, even the kinfolk, their enemies. Why, I don’t know, but I have a feeling it has to do with the reason Kace is here to begin with. I won’t admit it but I did a little digging when I was first hired and encountered my inmate— yeah, mine —which I found a few interesting things about good ol’ Governor Barclay. But that is a different issue for a different day.

“Where do you boys think you’re going?” I ask. “You should be at chow.”

Nate takes a step forward, always the idiot speaking for others. I would not be surprised if the AB beats submission into the lower ranking guys.

This chump is going to end up in a hole in the pit if he keeps on. There are only so many trips to seg an inmate can take before the prison demands more, like it has a machine down in the bowels that devours men one soul at a time.

“To get some fresh air, hot stuff. Want to join us?” he teases as a few of the other inmates come up behind him, snickering like children. He leans to the side, pushing one arm up to the top of the door frame as if his assumed charm can trick me into doing anything willing with him.

“You’re in prison, inmate, you don’t get fresh anything. You got five minutes to get the rest of your rec time in before I hit the alarms and you cause the whole prison to go on lockdown. I’m sure if there is a shakedown that comes along with it, you’ll be spending the night in seg again.”

Schooling my features, I blink at him with a blank expression, the smug little smirk he is wearing deepening as he steps up and closes the distance between us. His tongue passes over his overly chewed bottom lip, looking more like a wild animal than anyone attractive, causing my face to contort into a look of disgust.

“It would be one hell of a shame if something, or someone, happened to you, Officer Pierce. There’s only a few things in this shithole that is keeping us from breaking you.”

I blink, unimpressed, at him once again. Following with a bored sigh.

“All bark, no bite. You want your pipeline to remain open, I suggest keeping your mouth shut, inmate. Unless you want to lick my boots clean again.” I offer him one of my own smug smiles.

“You remember that, don’t you? The first time you crawled on your hands and knees for me, begging? You were so desperate for a hit that I was able to pour your precious powder on my boot, and you used that disgusting tongue of yours to lick up every granule. I did enjoy the spit shine, pup.”

His eyes flare when I finish speaking, he used to be such a whore for cocaine. He also doesn’t respond well to embarrassment, and when his eyes flare, his brows furrowing, I know I’d hit the mark with him. Nothing like making him appear the lesser man before his subordinates.

Giving him another mirthless smile, I motion to the door for him and his cronies to walk through. Just so they could get the hell out of my sight. Nate has never approached me like this, at least not in a public setting, so I have a feeling something was about to switch up.

What that is? I don’t know.