Page 41 of Axios

A life of gore and violence.

I began sawing through his flesh, attempting to put my mind above the revolting sounds of tearing muscle and the feel of his still-warm blood gushing across my fingers as I severed veins.

When Eryx reached and stilled my movement, I noticed my hands had been shaking. He took the blade from my grasp and scrutinized me, concern flashing in his eyes.

Conveying my gratitude to him with a look, I scooted to the side and let him take over. I used the grass to wipe some of the blood off my trembling hands, inhaling deeply.

He made quick work of the beheading and soon stood, holding the head by the hair as blood languidly dripped from the bottom.

“Let us return,” he spoke, offering a hand to help me from the ground.

I accepted and allowed him to pull me to my feet. The other boy had run off, I assumed to tell the rest that the hunt was finished, so Eryx and I walked back home together. Once back in the city, I was far from the person I had been when I’d left.

The man had emerged at last.

***

“What was it like?” Haden asked, leaning toward me as the flames lit half of his face. “To kill him.”

We were sat around the fire, the last light of sun having long since vanished below the horizon. Many of the boys had gone to the barracks, but several of us were not ready for sleep and decided to pass time outside with conversation and to share the food Quill had stolen from the kitchens after evening meal.

“It was…” I searched for the words to truly express the internal struggle I’d faced at throwing away such a big part of myself, followed by the euphoria at having released the burdens holding me prisoner and finally surrendering to my Spartan blood. “You know when a splinter jabs in your palm from javelin throwing? How it’s stuck within your flesh and the only way to free it is to cut it out? Killing him felt that way. The dread was worse than the thing itself. Once cut out, the place it had been continues to be tender a moment, but then it passes, and you feel nothing.”

I had been the center of attention ever since we’d returned, and I did not favor it.

The one joy I took in the deed was seeing the shock upon Gaius’ face when it was revealed thatIhad been the one to carry out his orders. If not for Eryx and the boy who’d seen us verifying the kill, Gaius would not have believed it.

Quill popped a few berries in his mouth, and juice leaked down his chin as he chewed. “I cannot wait until my first kill. When we are men and become warriors, I will strike down any man who wrongs me.”

“That is foolish,” Eryx spoke, shaking his head. “We must choose our battles wisely and only kill when it is asked of us.” He looked at me and grabbed my hand, caressing my thumb with his. “Life is sacred and must be taken only when necessary: to protect our home or one another.”

He was speaking to us all, but I knew his words were meant for me. I’d killed the slave to save Eryx. Perhaps that was why I felt no remorse.

“I do not know about you fools,” Haden said, biting off a piece of bread and chewing noisily. “But I am most eager to find a girl and finally bury my cock into her.”

Of course, he’d lightened the serious conversation and caused everyone to laugh.

“Your cock better not ever find itself near my sister,” I said through my amusement and disgust. “It is likely she will chop it off and hang it around her neck as a trophy.”

Theon spat his food as Quill giggled so hard that he snorted like the hogs in the pen.

“Some may mistake it for a worm,” Eryx said.

Haden threw a pebble at him, which Eryx dodged and then retrieved to toss back.

Ian and Melias were there as well, their bodies angled toward the other and sitting so close their thighs touched. Similar to Haden, Melias had broad shoulders and thick biceps, whereas Ian was smaller framed with less defined muscles. Both wore gentle smiles and a particular gleam sparked in their eyes when they gazed upon each other.

The thought caused me to shift closer to Eryx.

After such an emotionally taxing day, I just wanted to be in his arms and have our bodies moving together in a tantalizing embrace—to forget the outside world and just revel in every part of him. No matter how much I changed that day, my desire for him would never diminish. If anything, I needed him more.

Once we’d conversed and eaten our fill, we made our way back to the barracks.

Quill and Theon tucked themselves into their beds, still giggling and finding topics to discuss even after we’d all talked for hours. Their voices were but whispers, only loud enough to hear the excitement in their words but not the words themselves.

Haden was snoring not even minutes after lying down, and Ian and Melias faced each other and lay as close as possible.

As for me and Eryx, we came together shortly after reaching our mats. His soft lips found mine, and his seeking touch re-discovered parts of me that were his and his alone.