Page 11 of Axios

“Yes.”

We treaded toward home, and I was lost in my thoughts once again.

I had always been an observer of nature, loving the way the tall grass in the nearby field swayed in the wind and how the water tasted on my tongue when the sky opened up and poured—how the feel of the air shifted with the changing seasons.

Sometimes I wondered how different my life would’ve been had I been born someone else. Perhaps a Corinthian. And maybe I would have become a merchant instead of a warrior. I’d often fantasized about life at sea.

Spartans dominated the land, but we were not exactly a naval army, and many of us were at a loss for what awaited beyond the water’s edge. That all changed in years past, however, when Sparta became the victors that ended the conflict with Athens. With financial help from Persia, Sparta was able to destroy the Athenian fleet in a naval battle at Aegospotami. But even then, our way of life was one not meant for the sea.

Later that evening when we went to our barracks, I scooted my bed of reeds closer to Eryx than normal. My thoughts troubled me, and I needed his warmth to help calm my troublesome mind.

Spartans were prized for our legendary endurance of pain, and people feared us for it. While being brutally flogged, Spartan males wouldn’t flinch or cry out. Those who did were seen as weak and cowardly. Thediamastigosiswas a test for us youths. To allow us to show our strength.

Could I be brave? Or would I surrender to the pain and disgrace myself?

“Axios, you’re shaking.” Eryx’s breath fluttered at the back of my neck, sending chills to cover my arms and legs.

“I’m just cold.” I tugged my cloak tighter around my body.

If any of the other boys or older men knew of my worry about the annual ritual, I knew they would mock me for it.

Eryx put his arm around me and laid his head on my shoulder. “Do not worry your mind so much. We will be together, and I will not allow any harm to come to you.”

His words didn’t come as a surprise. He knew me on a level that was beyond comprehension, just as I did him. It was no shock that he knew the workings of my mind. We could read each other with just a glance. The connection served us well during training because we worked together without having to say the words aloud.

We will be together.

The knowledge comforted me and helped ease away the worry, allowing me to fall into a deep sleep.

***

“Are you ready for death, boy?” Felix growled as he knocked me to the ground for the fifth time. “That is what you will get tomorrow if you fight this way. Weak,” he spat. “Worthless.”

Unlike the previous four times, I remained in the dirt and didn’t even try to stand. He was right. I would never amount to the soldier I was meant to become.

He kicked me, and I didn’t budge. I felt numb to it all, not just to the pain but to everything.

Why should I continue to fight?

Felix grabbed the back of my hair and yanked me upward, his rugged, sun-darkened face entering my line of sight. He held me an inch off the ground with only one arm, proving how small I was. How unworthy of life I was. His dark eyes focused on me, and he seemed to be searching for something deep in my soul.

“You surrender?” he asked, but not in the patronizing tone he normally used. It was spoken low and consumed with disappointment.

I didn’t respond. Instead, I returned his stare as if he were nothing but a tree in my way. No feeling. No desire to fight. I just wanted to lie down and rest at last. To sleep and never have to face another dark morn, or the even darker evenings that followed.

Felix dropped me to the ground before standing over me. The blinding sun above him cast a shadow over his face, and I laid my head on the dirt. His foot rammed into my stomach.

Pain shot through me, but I still didn’t move or react.

Through his anger, he seemed impressed as well. He thought I was showing strength by refusing to cry out, but in reality, I was just too numb to care.

“Sparta is at war, boy!” he shouted before kicking me again. “Our men fight with Corinth as we speak, as you lay in the dirt like a maggot ready for death.”

“Axios! Fight!”

That voice. Eryx. Didn’t he know better than to speak out of turn?

I turned my face to see him staring at me with his wide, green eyes. He was a real warrior, even at his young age. He’d grow to become a soldier who excelled in battle and would make men shake with fear in his presence. But I would be nothing.