Page 129 of Axios

Having sympathy for the enemy, though, was not a thought I could share. He would never understand such a thing.

When I was finished talking, I knelt and placed my hand upon Agis’ grave—feeling the warmth of the earth beneath my palm.

He had smelled of early spring mornings and the dew that covered the grass when I had first met him. Perhaps, that was one reason I was drawn to him that day. Not just the need to express my internal ponderings, but something more.

Spring reminded me of him, and an ache formed in my heart as I touched where he rested.

A breeze started to blow and ruffled the short strands of my dark hair. I closed my eyes for a moment and let everything drift away. The worry and sadness were swept away with the wind as I became aware of the life around me, focusing on how the breeze felt as it caressed my skin like a lover’s touch—as I breathed in the flowers and listened to the trickling of the nearby stream.

One moment I sat like that. Two. Then, three. Only when I felt more at peace did I open my eyes and stand. After looking at Agesipolis’ resting place once more, I turned and started trekking through the woods back toward home.

I returned when the sun was at its highest in the sky.

Eryx was outside when I approached. His arms were behind his head as he laid on the grass and looked upward.

I settled beside him and flipped to my side, propping my head up with my arm. I looked at his golden hair, prominent cheekbones, slope of his nose, and his sharp features. The hard contours of his face gave him such a masculine appearance, but there was a hint of softness as well. Long, dark eyelashes that fluttered like butterfly’s wings. Soft, plump lips made for kissing.

No one had ever been more beautiful than him, and they never would be.

“This is our last day in Sparta,” he spoke. The center of his forehead creased, and his gaze flashed to mine. “It feels different this time.”

I felt it too.

We did not take pleasure in each other’s bodies that night. Neither of us was in the right mood. My mind was taken with thoughts of departing for campaign the next day, and I suspected his mind was in the same place.

When morning came, it was much too soon. I had spent most of the night just watching Eryx, wondering what would become of us once we left Sparta’s borders again.

We awoke at dawn and ate a small meal before grabbing our things and walking toward the door.

Before I stepped outside, I turned and studied the room: the window I enjoyed looking out of, the cushion we’d laid on many a nights and made love, and the tiny wooden sculpture of a bird on the table Leonidas had made for me years ago. It looked more like a deformed fish than a bird, but I treasured it.

Our house wasn’t big, but it was one of my favorite places in the world.

“Axios, we need to leave.”

I nodded and shut the door, leaving the home we’d built together behind me.

***

Icarius refused to let go of my neck. Leanna tried taking him from my arms, and he cried and clutched me tighter. Whether he knew what my leaving meant, I wasn’t sure, but he clearly knew something was happening, and it scared him.

I held him close to my chest and rocked him, resting my face against his hair.

When I handed him back to my sister, he stared at me with tear-filled, gray eyes and reached for me again. Then, he saw his father and reached for him instead, the tears falling down his chubby cheeks.

Haden grabbed him and held him to his chest just as I had done. He kissed his son’s forehead and pressed their cheeks together. His eyes met mine, and endless sorrow glistened in the gray depths.

I said goodbye to Leonidas next, who stood with his head held high and had no traces of sadness on his young face. He looked frustrated.

“I wish I was going with you,” he said, frowning. “It is not fair.”

“Your father said something very similar once when we were youths and watching an army depart,” I spoke, clapping him on the shoulder. “But war is not a thing to wish for, Leo.”

Perhaps our going to war now will prevent him from having to go when he’s of age.

If only that could have been the same for Demetrius. He approached us, holding his helmet in his right arm and his shield in the other.

I had practically raised him, and seeing him armored for battle and knowing I was to fight beside him, nearly crushed my spirit. But there was also pride upon seeing him.