Page 65 of Avenging Azalea (California Made Men #2)

FAWN

SEVEN MONTHS LATER – MAY

Nervous jitters had taken over my body. I didn’t dare touch my hair, my dress, or even take a sip of water for fear of ruining something. The shaking had started after Savannah left to head to the beach, and I was left to stare at myself in the mirror.

We’d decided on Turks and Caicos for our wedding, and Titus had rented all the villas along the beach for the occasion.

My flowy white dress was simple, but beautiful, and the tropical flowers that Savannah had woven into my updo were exquisite. A ring as large as a house glinted on my finger, and for as happy and excited as I was, an undeniable terror had taken over.

What if we got married and Titus decided a year in that he’d made a mistake? What if he fell out of love with me? What if I couldn’t give him the family we wanted?

My eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Even now, when Neil could no longer hurt me, he had still found a way to try and ruin my happiness.

The more brutal assaults—where he’d just dropped me off and let them do whatever—had left scarring.

I’d known it was there, but like so much in my past, I’d tried to ignore it or forget it, like that would somehow make it go away.

I shook my head and wiped away the tear that had escaped. Now, when I wanted this big family with the man I loved, it may never happen, and every time I thought about it, I couldn’t help but blame myself.

“Girl, you’re going to be late to your own wedding…hey, why are you crying?”

Steph’s voice shook me out of my thoughts. My eyes found hers as she walked across the room to stand behind me in the mirror.

“You are such a beautiful maid of honor,” I said, and she folded her arms.

“Nope, you’re not doing that. What’s wrong? And don’t say nothing,” she ordered.

“Are you really going to pester me on my wedding day?”

“I wouldn’t be much of a friend if I didn’t. You look like you’re about to run out of here and leave Titus on the beach.”

I looked down, and Steph grabbed my shoulders. “Fawn…oh my god, what is going on? This entire week has been magical, and you’ve been so happy, what changed,” she asked as I sniffed. She suddenly produced a tissue and handed it to me.

“Thanks,” I said, dabbing at my eyes. “What if I can’t have children?

What if I’m the reason we can’t have a family of our own…

and before you say we can adopt, I mean his children.

He has this whole legacy to uphold and to pass on the Mikhailov name.

The doctor said to prepare myself and that I may never be able to conceive,” I blurted out, my heart racing.

“I thought you said Titus didn’t care,” Steph asked as she led me over to the little settee in the corner.

“He says that now, but…”

“There is no but,” Titus said, and my head snapped up.

Steph jumped and gave me a wink before slipping out the door.

“You’re not supposed to see me before the wedding. We don’t need any more bad luck,” I said.

Titus walked across the room and looked so damn sexy in the beige dress pants and white linen shirt. The flower pinned on his chest matched the ones in my hair. Then again, he could’ve been wearing a black garbage bag, and people would’ve said he was starting a new trend.

Kneeling in front of me, he grabbed my hands.

“I’m not really a superstitious person.” Bringing them to his lips, he kissed every finger, and butterflies soared.

“No matter what happens, what the tests say, I will always love you, Little Bird.” I looked at our joined hands.

He let go to touch my chin, so I was forced to look into his loving eyes. “You believe me, right?”

“I believe that you mean it now, but what about a year from now or five? When you wake up and realize…” My lower lip trembled, and it was taking all my effort not to burst into tears.

“Fawn, you have to stop blaming yourself for what happened. I see it in your eyes, you think that there is something you could’ve done, but there wasn’t.”

“I could’ve tried harder. I could’ve run, or…”

“And what of George? Could you have left him?”

“No, but we could’ve run together,” I said stubbornly.

“Do you really believe he would’ve gone? And what would’ve happened if you’d fought back?”

“I could’ve gone to the police.”

Titus nodded. “Yes, you’re right, but you would’ve been separated from George as you were both tossed into a broken system that could’ve landed you in an equally terrible situation.”

“Why do you keep doing that? You always find a counter-argument.”

“Because you need to realize that yes, you could’ve done a million things differently, but you have no idea where that road would lead.

Would it be better? Maybe, but maybe not.

Fawn, you dealt with a situation that would be impossible to navigate as an adult, let alone a young teen.

You chose what you thought you had to do to survive, and there is no going back in time and seeing what would’ve happened. ”

Taking the tissue from my hands, Titus gently wiped my tears away.

“I may never have met you.”

“That is also true. Although I’d trade us meeting and my heart never knowing real love, over the pain you suffered,” Titus whispered.

“I wouldn’t. Even if you never fell in love with me, you gave me hope.

You showed me that there was still good in this world.

And that there were virtuous men among the evil.

You taught me to trust and love and what passion is, and…

everything else you’ve brought into my life.

I can never thank you enough for that. I appreciate every day like it is my last, because you showed me how amazing the sun can be. ”

“Then believe me when I say this…I will always love you. Not in pieces. Not when it’s easy. Always . My heart isn’t fickle, it’s just yours.”

He cupped my cheek, and I leaned into his warm, comforting touch.

“And yes, I dream of a loud, chaotic house filled with little feet and laughter that shakes the walls, but only if you’re there because none of that means a damn thing without you.

We can open our home to others. There are so many who need a home.

We can build something that heals others the way you’ve healed me. ”

Turning my head, I kissed his palm, and he smiled. I didn’t think my heart could get any fuller, yet with every word Titus spoke, he somehow made me love him even more.

“You are more than I ever had the right to hope for, Fawn. To ask the universe for more would feel like blasphemy. You’re my everything. You’re my miracle.”

A single tear dripped from my eye and landed on his hand. Titus kissed the spot and smiled at me. I traced every line of his face, committing this moment and him to memory, because I never wanted to forget.

“No matter what the doctors say, whatever numbers or odds they throw at us…I don’t care.

What we build together is my legacy. So, no more tears.

No more wondering if I’ll wake up one day and change my mind.

I woke up the day I chose you. And I’ll keep choosing you, in every lifetime, in every version of us. You’re it for me.”

Cupping his face, I kissed him softly and communicated through touch what my words would never be able to convey. I loved him so much that my heart no longer beat just for me.

I broke the kiss and smiled.

“No more second guessing,” I said.

“We better get down to the beach before everyone thinks we’ve taken off,” Titus teased.

Standing, he held out his hand, and as I slipped mine into his, my heart soared. He helped me to my feet and then stood back and looked me over. I turned for him to see the whole dress. No point in hiding now.

“My Little Bird has become my angel. You look incredible, you’re going to make my mother cry happy tears.”

“Okay, enough with the flattery or we’ll definitely miss our wedding,” I said, making him chuckle.

“I wouldn’t argue with that.”

“Speaking of arguing, have Naji and George stopped fighting?”

Titus laughed. “Not even close.”

“Oh my gosh, I don’t get it,” I said, truly perplexed.

“Your brother is a Yankees fan, and Naji is a Dodgers fan. They will be arguing for the rest of our lives,” Titus said, but I’d never been obsessive over sports, so it still seemed ridiculous to me.

“Thank you for talking George into coming. It means a lot to me that he is here for our wedding. I think it will do him a lot of good to come live with us. He needs a steady influence in his life.”

“You’re welcome, but it was time,” Titus said.

“How did you get him to agree?”

An impish grin turned the corner of his mouth up. “I can be very persuasive when I want to be.”

“You promised him Yankees tickets, didn’t you,” I asked and giggled at the guilty look on his face.

“Yes. Yes, I did,” Titus admitted, laughing.

I still needed to find a way to connect with my brother.

I really hoped we could find common ground because it felt like he was never going to believe me about what a monster Neil was.

He was the only family I had left. My mother congratulated me, refused to come to my wedding, and then said that she never wanted me to contact her again.

She’d moved on, and it was time that I did too.

We stepped out of the sunlit villa, hand in hand, and walked toward the small crowd gathered by the shore. People and dogs alike, faces lit with laughter, warmth, and full of life. Even George was smiling as he stood beside Cutter.

And at that moment, I finally saw it. Titus had been right all along.

We were lucky. So very lucky. Most people spent their lives searching and never found love like ours. I’d spent too long mourning what I couldn’t change. But as we walked toward our loved ones, I felt wrapped in the glow of something real and realized…we had everything.

Titus called me his Little Bird, but he would always be the wind beneath every beat of my wings. He was my shelter from an unrelenting storm and the soft touch that calmed me after it. Titus gave me sky where I once only knew cages.

And I would love him with the kind of devotion only a once-shattered heart could give…loyal, unstoppable, and free.