Page 39 of Avenging Azalea (California Made Men #2)

Chapter

Thirty

TITUS

I hadn’t stepped foot in this church, or any church, for some time. But here I was standing in the vestibule and staring up at the massive stained glass that circled the whole second-floor gallery. Each image was a depiction of Jesus or some symbolism that spoke of faith.

When I was younger, I genuinely thought that I could be an honest man.

One capable of separating my faith from what I did for my family, but the lines blurred and blended into one.

Soon, it became too easy to walk through the doors and ask for forgiveness while knowing that we were committing sins daily.

“So, what do you think? It’s beautiful, isn’t it,” Vera asked, like I’d never been here before. I’d told there three times already that I came here until I turned eighteen, but she didn’t seem to listen or care.

She smiled and pointed out the murals painted on the ceiling that mimicked the Sistine Chapel, and the pews that held hundreds of people.

None of this was me, even if I’d wanted to get married in a church.

My vision was small, intimate, with only good friends and family.

At one time, I would’ve said the gardens at my parents’ home—with Bella and Daisy as ring bearers—was the perfect locale.

“You don’t seem happy. Do you want to check out another venue?”

I glanced down at Vera and shook my head.

“No, this one is fine. Like I said, my family knows Father Francis.”

She grabbed my arm, and I bit back the bile rising in my throat as we walked down the aisle. The entire time, I wanted to turn and bolt for the door.

“This will be perfect with the lighting at midday. I’m thinking right at noon when the sun is high in the sky and we’ll get all the natural light shining through the windows and skylights.

” She pointed to the pews. “I can already see the lavish bouquets tied to each one and more up at the front. Oh, and I was thinking of calling in my good friend Arianna to come and sing with the whole choir as backup. Won’t that be spectacular? Very front page news worthy.”

“I’m sure it will.”

“I’ve already notified all the top sites, and they are sending crews to film everything. We will be the talk of the world. You should see the guest list. It’s all A-listers.” Vera pointed in the direction of the hallway off to the side. “I’ll be back. I want to freshen up before the test photos.”

“Test photos?”

“Yes, of course, why else would I bring McKenzie with us?” Vera pointed to her videographer, who had been wandering around and snapping shots.

Rising on her toes, she kissed my cheek.

“Smile, Titus. I promise to make you very happy.” With an exuberance that I couldn’t fake, Vera trotted off and disappeared.

Walking up to the front, I dropped down, made the sign of the cross, and then slipped into the first pew.

Sitting, I lowered the kneeler and bowed as I clasped my hands and closed my eyes.

Years of violence, manipulation, and deceit had cloaked me like a second skin, and no matter how many times I’d tried to wash it off, it clung to me.

“Titus, isn’t this a welcome surprise?”

Lifting my head, I stared up into the eyes of Father Francis.

“I’m used to seeing your mother, but thought you might have forgotten the way.”

I smirked. “The way or my way?”

The priest’s sharp hazel eyes shone with a humor that I’d always appreciated.

“They are one and the same, my boy. Am I interrupting you?”

I looked up at the statue that had remained silent despite all my questions over the years and got up off my knees.

“Not at all. I’m not sure what the big man and I have to talk about anymore,” I said, taking a seat.

Father Francis sat beside me. His robes rustled softly as he moved. The material was far heavier than he made it look. He didn’t say anything, yet his presence urged me to speak.

“Father, is a good deed still considered good when your heart isn’t in it?”

“That is a very solemn question and a difficult one to answer.”

“Tell me about it,” I said.

“Does this have to do with your reason for coming here tonight?”

I glanced around, but Vera had vanished.

“My life is not at all what I pictured.”

“Would you like to confess, my child? Is something weighing heavy on your heart?”

I shook my head. “I cannot ask forgiveness for something that I don’t regret.”

“I’m not sure that I understand.”

“My heart belongs to another,” I said, smiling.

“But my honor binds me to a loveless marriage. Even if I was free, it’s wrong to love her.

She’s an angel. She came to me when I didn’t know I needed her, but my world threatens to dip her white wings in dark shadows.

I can’t allow that. I’m sure you’ve seen this more than once over the years, considering those who visit these walls of worship. ”

“The heart is a complicated thing. It’s true that I’ve seen your situation, but that won’t change my advice. Marriage is not to be entered into lightly. It is a binding agreement in front of God to love and cherish one another. Starting it with lies and animosity…is not starting it at all.”

“Are you refusing to officiate my marriage to Vera?”

Father Francis looked straight ahead.

“No, my child, that is not what I’m saying.

Only you can determine what is right for you,” he said, placing his hand on my shoulder.

“Titus, it may not be my place to say this, but you’re no longer a young boy, so I will.

I’ve known you since the day you were born.

I christened you right there.” He pointed to the raised altar.

“You, my child, may feel like you’re tainted by darkness, but when I look at you, I see a shining light.

You are still the little boy who brought in flowers to hand out because you didn’t want anyone to feel unloved.

You’re still the teen who helped every man, woman, and child in need and carried those who were weary. ”

Tears pricked my eyes, and I looked away from the man who saw through my walls.

“God does not judge your mistakes, only how you rectify the situation, and on the character of your soul. Your heart has always been kind. You will find the right path, in this, I have faith.”

“Thank you,” I said as he slowly stood.

“Father?”

“Yes?”

“Before you go…this won’t make up for the sins of my past or those that I’m sure I will commit, but can you please see to it that this gets to families in need?”

Reaching into my jacket pocket, I pulled out a check and handed it over.

Father Francis unfolded it, then grabbed the edge of the pew before looking at me.

“This will help many souls.”

I nodded. “I’ve been blessed financially, it’s the least I can do.”

“Ohhh, Father, there you are,” Vera sang as she came in and broke the peaceful moment. “Would you be able to come with me for a minute? I found a perfect spot for photos and just want to make sure it’s okay with you.”

“I’m more than happy to help,” he said, and squeezed my shoulder before walking off with Vera, who was chatting happily like a yappy little dog.

I glanced up at the statue.

“I’m sorry for thinking that, but she reminds me of a Chihuahua,” I said, laughing when my voice echoed in the cavernous space. “I think I’m losing my mind.”