Page 39 of Avalanche (Endless Winter #3)

Matty

“Look at this place.” Eddie pushes his phone screen in front of me for the hundredth time this morning, reaching across the middle of Lily’s car to show me his latest find on one of the many real estate websites he’s been trawling. “This one has a hot tub. And lake views.”

I obligingly give the phone a cursory glance, the images impossible to see with the vibrations of Lily’s car.

“Is it a rental?” Liam asks from beside him in the back seat. But we all know the answer to that.

Eddie retreats to his seat with an annoyed huff.

“You can’t just spend Antoine’s money,” Liam grits out. “You’re supposed to be looking for a rental for us. Something affordable.”

Another huff, followed by the faint tapping of fingers on a screen.

“I might not get my inheritance,” Antoine points out, much more gently. “I haven’t heard from my lawyer yet…”

“You’ll get it,” I tell him, reaching over to squeeze Lily’s hand. “I know you will.”

I know she’s been worried about it too. Worried that their little court house wedding wasn’t enough.

That they’ll find some reason to say it wasn’t real, that they just got married to claim Antoine’s inheritance.

Which, I guess is kind of true? But also not, since they’re actually in love, and probably would have gotten married anyway.

She squeezes my hand and I feel the ring I placed on her finger a few weeks ago rubs against the inside of my fingers. I can’t help but smile at the feel of it. At the promise that it reminds me of each time I see it.

She’s going to marry me. One day. Hopefully one day soon, I’ll be able to call her my wife.

“I just think it’s a waste of money to pay rent when you can pay a mortgage,” Eddie grumbles. “Paying rent—you’re basically paying someone else’s mortgage, right? But if you own something you get the capital gains. You’re not losing any money, you’re investing.”

“You can’t just buy a house to live in five months a year,” Liam argues. “What are you going to do with it the rest of the time?”

“Are you serious?” Eddie snorts. “This is Wanaka we’re talking about. You’d just run it as a vacation rental or rent it out short term. Look, I’ve done some research and-”

“You’ve done research. The guy who lived off hash browns cooked in a toaster for an entire season up at the Wanaka holiday park? For some reason, I find this hard to believe.”

“It was literally my first time leaving home. Give me a fucking break.”

“You can’t buy a house with Antoine’s money.”

“You don’t get to decide that,” Eddie retorts.

“You’re Antoine’s boyfriend, not his manager.

And anyway, it’s not like we couldn’t all pitch in on the mortgage.

There’s six of us. Do you really want the girl we love to live in some shitty rental with paper thin walls and no heating?

Have you even flatted in Wanaka before?”

My stomach tightens like it does each time someone argues. I cast a worried look at Lily, only to find her staring awestruck over her steering wheel, her lips parted, her cheeks flushed.

“Of course I’ve flatted in Wanaka,” Liam replies. “It’s not that bad-”

“Wait.” Lily pulls her hand free from mine, settling it on the steering wheel with a white-knuckled grip. “Eddie, what did you say?”

“I said we could all pitch in-”

“No.” She shakes her head, a grin spreading her cheeks. “The other thing. You said the girl you love?”

I look behind me in time to see Eddie’s face turn bright red before he drags one hand across it. “I mean, yeah…”

Lily’s smile widens, a triumphant teasing thing. I feel my own lips curling up in response.

Liam chuckles, nudging Eddie with his elbow. Eddie groans and presses both hands to his face.

“Oh, mon dieu ,” Antoine complains, shaking his head and Liam and Eddie. “You two are like children sometimes.”

“I love you too.” Lily smiles at Eddie in the rearview mirror. “Just so you know.”

Eddie slumps into his seat, his knees coming up like a hedgehog attempting to disappear behind its prickles. Lily laughs, a light, happy sound.

I shake my head in bemusement as Lily pulls into the car park for work.

I tell Lily I love her constantly. Probably too much, if I’m being honest. Eddie tells me I’m a simp, whatever that means.

And maybe I am, because I tell her when I wake up in the morning.

Each time she reenters the room I’m in, or sits beside me, or kisses me.

But I’m thinking it even more.

“It’s okay to have feelings,” I tell Eddie as we clamber out of the car. “It’s nothing to be scared of.”

He’s helped me so many times. Talked me through the jealousy I’d initially felt when Antoine proposed to Lily. Walked me back from the edge of panic more times than I can count. It’s the least I can do, to help him with this.

Eddie gives me a deadpan look as he pulls his bag from the trunk of the car, then slams it shut.

“I’m not scared.” He casts a wary glance to where Lily, Liam and Antoine are waiting at the other end of the car, then folds his arms over his chest defensively. “Do I look scared to you?”

I can’t help but smile at that. Maybe it’s a little unkind, maybe it’s teasing him, but the truth is, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so afraid of their feelings in my entire life.

“So tell me more about your idea to buy a place,” I tell him instead, hoping to steer the conversation back to somewhere Eddie feels safe. Real estate. Eddie likes real estate. “You thinking of somewhere for all of us, huh?”

A grin spreads across his face. “There’s so many options,” he explains earnestly, trotting alongside me as we make our way through the snow-covered resort to the staff changing rooms. “Some really good investment opportunities out there. I’ll show you some of the best ones when we get home.

Or maybe we can catch up over lunch?” He peers up at me in question, his eyes glinting with a level of excitement that I just can’t understand given the topic.

“We should have a few minutes while our kids are eating between lessons.”

“Sure.” It doesn’t take much to smile back at him, even if the thought of looking at houses on Eddie’s phone in the kids ski school cafeteria isn’t exactly how I’d like to spend my lunch. “I’d like that.”

It’s only sort of a lie. I like the idea of us all living together somewhere. Having a home. A real home.

With Lily.

Without thinking, I find my attention traveling a few paces ahead, to where Lily, Liam and Antoine are making a path in the deep snow that fell during last night’s storm.

Lily’s boot prints trail behind her, little stars stamped among the zig-zag pattern from the soles.

They’re cute, those footprints. Narrow and delicate and feminine and her’s.

Just like the cut of her winter coat, and the way her braids peek out from beneath the collar, and the little knit mittens she wears sometimes when she’s out walking.

She pauses to look over her shoulder, her eyes finding my own with unerring accuracy, a faint smile curving her lips.

I can’t look at those lips without thinking of kisses, of sweet brushes against my throat, of that lapping tongue teasing…

other places. My cheeks heat at the thought, a burst of embarrassment no doubt painting my face red.

Except last night it had been my mouth on her. It had been me drawing pleasure from her, watching her pant and squirm. Eddie too. And Antoine. And Liam. One after the other we’d taken turns making her come, until I was nearly mindless from watching her.

“She’s been so good for us,” Liam had explained. “Don’t you think she deserves it?”

I’d agreed. Of course I had. Lily deserves everything. The entire world. A real wedding, with flowers and a beautiful dress and all the people she loves there. A house, with all the things Eddie talked about.

Most of all she deserves to be told how loved she is, every single day.

When Lily turns to say something to Antoine I pause to stare down at Eddie, nudging my shoulder against his.

“Hey, buddy. You’re going to tell her you love her, okay?” I whisper, ignoring the way his face turns pale with surprise at my order, at the way his freckles stand out in stark relief across his nose. “When we get home tonight. You’re going to tell her. With words.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but I shake my head.

“No. Don’t argue. You’re going to do it. You’re brave enough.” An idea rushes through me, and I seize it happily, unable to hide my smile. “If you tell her, I’ll go to bat for you on the house thing. If Antoine’s money comes through, I mean. I’ll take your side.”

Eddie blinks at me, a hopeful smile curving his lips. “You mean it?”

“Yeah.” I nod enthusiastically, clapping his shoulder for good measure. He grunts at the impact, his feet skidding momentarily beneath him in the snow. “Course I do.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Fine, I’ll tell her.” He scrubs at the back of his neck before giving me a half-hearted scowl. “But don’t expect some grand gesture or anything. I’m not doing that. That’s your thing, not mine.”

I press my lips together to hide my smile, remembering that time Eddie took his knife to the soles of Lily’s shoes because he was worried she’d slip on the icy stairs. The time Eddie got everything organized so I could propose to her, so I could get down on one knee and put my ring on her finger.

The time Eddie saved Lily from Tom.

I’m pretty sure grand gestures are Eddie’s love language.

“That’s fine,” I tell him. “But you’re going to tell her how you feel all the same.

” I pause, worry rushing through me as it occurs to me that maybe I’m pushing him into this.

Making him do something he’s not ready to do.

“I mean, only if that’s actually how you feel,” I add hurriedly.

“I’m not saying tell her you love her if you don’t… ”

Eddie stops in his tracks, staring up at me with a disgusted scowl.

It’s the same look I’ve seen him give other instructors when they try to transfer their beginner skiers into his intermediate class.

It’s funny to see when it’s aimed at someone else, but feeling it turned on me—I can feel my shoulders shrinking in defensively, my heart rate accelerating, my palms sweating.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” he hisses, shooting a glance to where Lily is laughing with Liam about something several paces ahead.

“Of course I love her. Look at her. She’s fucking amazing.

I’m spending the rest of my life with her.

Probably. If that’s what she wants.” The scowl softens into a sharp edged grin.

“Shit, I love her so much, I’m willing to spend the rest of my life with you guys too. ”

Something sharp and sweet presses behind my ribs at Eddie’s declaration and I let out a sigh before wrapping one arm affectionately around his shoulders, ignoring when he stiffens and glares up at me.

“She does want that,” I tell him, as he squirms his way free of my hold. “To spend the rest of her life with you, I mean.”

I bite the inside of my cheek, recalling what Antoine told me the other day at breakfast, before everyone was up, his head tucked close to mine, his knee against my own.

If I could marry all of you today, I would.

That’s what Lily said, according to Antoine’s whispered confession.

“I want to give her that,” he’d told me.

“I know I’ve married her, legally, but I want to give her a real wedding.

With all of us. Together.” He’d squeezed my knee then, a warm gesture that had sent affection and longing coiling low in my belly. “She deserves that. And so do you.”

“She’d marry you today if she could,” I tell Eddie.

The look Eddie gives me, it’s so full longing and hope tangled with doubt, it makes me want to hug him all over again. But I don’t. Because I get the feeling Eddie doesn’t like hugs.

“You mean it?” he whispers.

I nod, giving him a reassuring smile. “Yeah, man. She’s so in love with you.”

I swallow, my throat suddenly tight, my eyes suddenly hot despite the icy wind gusting off the mountain.

The staff changing rooms are looming ahead of us now, the heavy door creaking as Lily, Liam and Antoine head inside.

I’ll have to tuck all this away soon, hide it, put on my instructor’s uniform.

Hold back the ‘ I love yous ’ until we get off the mountain.

But I’m sure anyone who sees us together knows. They have to know.

“She’s in love with all of us.”