Page 26 of Avalanche (Endless Winter #3)

Eddie

It’s happening. It’s happening. Holy shit, it’s finally happening.

I’m practically giddy with excitement after dinner, high on champagne and second-hand emotion and the heady anticipation of what awaits me in Lily’s bedroom. I hum as I do the dishes with Seth, and I’m sure my smile must be a permanent fixture on my face now.

I mean, it’s not like I’ve never had sex with Lily. I have. We’ve fooled around lots.

Well, maybe not lots. But we’ve had sex.

We just haven’t done group stuff since that one time. When Matty lost his virginity and I got her off.

My heart races with the memory of it, an almost uncomfortable weight settling at the base of my spine. I shift on my feet, running the last plate under hot water, praying the kitchen bench hides the chub I’m starting to sprout better than my sweat pants will.

I hadn’t been too sure about it at the time.

Truthfully, I’d been scared shitless. Overwhelmed by so much nakedness.

So many guys. And then Liam and Antoine…

I mean, I’m not uncomfortable with the idea of them being together.

In theory. In fact, I’m super happy for them.

Even happier when they sleep in what used to my and Liam’s room.

Because then I get to sleep with Lily.

I slide the wet dish onto the rack to dry, being careful not to drop it. We’re down to six plates after Matty broke two, and I don’t want to waste my money buying more.

Beside me, Seth shoots me a worried look before picking up the plate to dry it.

“Dibs,” I hear Liam call out from the hallway. “Antoine and I get the shower next.”

I turn in time to see Lily dart down the hall, her hair piled up on her head, her skin pink from the shower. She always likes her showers scaldingly hot. Too hot for me, but I won’t tell her that. I’ll take the heat any day if it means getting naked with her.

“You could join us,” Antoine suggests, his voice laced with seduction. “I’m sure it will fit three.”

That’s what she said , I almost say. But he’s not talking to me. Obviously. He’s talking to Matty, who’s lurking awkwardly in the hallway outside Lily’s door, still wearing that suit.

I scoff silently to myself, imagining the three of them in that tiny shower. Matty’s so big, I bet he can barely turn around in there.

“I’m good.” Matty toes at the carpet, then looks longingly at Lily’s door. “I showered before.”

I frown at that. I didn’t shower before. I guess I should. I stare down at my hands, wrinkled from washing dishes, and my sweatpants, stained from god knows what.

“Still,” Antoine says. “You’re always welcome.”

Matty shakes his head, murmurs something I can’t hear, then gathers up his courage and raps lightly on Lily’s door. She opens it, peeking out at him with a smile before ushering him in and closing it behind her.

I feel suddenly hollow, standing here. Alone.

Well, not alone. Seth’s beside me, drying the last of the dishes.

“You go.” Seth nudges my arm with his, giving me one of those gentle smiles before reaching up to put away a stack of clean plates. “They’re probably waiting for you.”

I sincerely doubt that.

“I should shower first. And maybe change.”

Which means it’s going to be ages before I get into Lily’s room. Liam and Antoine usually spend forever in the shower. God knows what they’re doing in there. Whatever it is, there’s usually no hot water by the time I get in.

Seth turns from the cupboard, looking me up and down, considering. “That’s probably a good idea,” he agrees.

My foot taps against the linoleum, the excitement from earlier turning to something sharper. Something closer to panic. I’m going to miss out. Again. And yes, I realise it’s a selfish thought. But maybe I am selfish. And greedy. Because no matter how much I get of Lily, I always want more.

And not just with sex—though, yeah, obviously I always want that. But everything. Her time. Her smiles. Just her.

I scrub at my face, wincing at how wrinkled and soft my hands are from the soapy water. She’s not going to want me to touch her with hands like that. I let out a defeated sigh.

“Maybe I’ll just go to bed…”

“No.”

Seth grips my shoulder, turning me effortlessly to face him. The softness from earlier is gone, replaced by something harder. Something more real. I blink up at him, a strange satisfaction rising up at the sight of him putting away his mask.

“No?” I ask, daring to challenge him, even though I’ve seen his knuckles swollen and coated with another man’s blood.

He shakes his head, his jaw ticking. “No,” he repeats, bending to bring himself to my level. “You’re not selling yourself short.”

I am short , I almost say, and I can hear the bitterness in those words in my head. At least, I feel short right now, next to him.

“You’re not going in there,” I snap back accusingly.

He grins, but it’s a sharp-edged thing, full of silent danger. “No. I’m not.”

“So why should I?” I ask. “Maybe I don’t want to go in there.”

Which is a stupid thing to say since I was practically begging to be invited to the next orgy when we ate dinner.

Seth gives me a deadpan look. His hand feels heavy on my shoulder. I dart a glance at it, at those fingers the size of sausages gripping my clavicle like a vice.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he says. “But Lily will be waiting for you. Expecting you. How do you think she’ll feel if you don’t show up? If you just go to bed after all the things you said to her?”

I swallow, my mouth suddenly feeling dry. She probably won’t notice , I want to say. She’s got Matty in there already. Liam and Antoine will probably join them soon. Why the fuck would she care if I’m there or not when she’s got the three of them?

“She’d be disappointed,” Seth says, answering for me when I stare up at him in silence.

His eyes narrow, like laser-beams pointing to my very soul. I shiver despite myself, even as I want to gloat in triumph. You’re just as fucked up as me, aren’t you , I want to taunt him. Deep down, beneath all that niceness, you’re just as angry as I am .

“I’m not going to let you disappoint her, Eddie.

” His fingers tighten on my shoulder, not hard, not even bruising, but a reminder.

I bite the inside of my cheek and glare back at him and wonder what he would do to me if I pushed him, really pushed him.

“You don’t want to disappoint her, do you? To hurt her?”

My stomach lurches at the thought. No. No, I don’t want to hurt Lily. I can’t imagine anything worse.

I shake my head, the admission ghosting over my lips. “Nah, man.”

He looks at me hard, eyes flicking between my own as if searching for some answer. He must find it, because he squeezes my shoulder once then drops his hand, giving a short decisive nod.

“Good.”

The doorway to the bathroom opens. We both hear it at the same time, the tell-tale creak of hinges that need oiled, the thudding of footsteps on carpet. My heart lurches, nerves tightening like lightning through my veins. I straighten, ball my hands into fists.

Okay. Okay. I’m going to fucking do this.

“Eddie.”

Lily smiles across the room at me the moment I enter. She’s sitting on the bed with Matty on one side and Antoine on the other, while Liam is sprawled out across the lower half of the mattress, taking up as much space as humanly possible.

I blink at them in surprise, then push the door shut behind me. “You’re not fucking.”

Lily laughs, that breathy, raspy laugh that goes straight to my cock each time. It’s a laugh that whispers at dropping off wind-whipped cornices and floating through powder, of staring back at a sun-sparkled mountain and seeing your own tracks curving behind you like art.

“No, we’re not fucking.” She straightens her legs, nudging Liam over to make space for me. “Come hang out.”

“Hang out,” I echo.

I’d been sure, as I rushed through my freezing cold shower, that I’d come in here to find everyone mid-orgy. A pile of naked bodies, writhing in ecstasy, with Lily in the middle and me completely forgotten.

Her smile widens, making a dimple appear in one cheek. “I mean, we could do that too. If you want.”

She blushes and the words are a little breathless, but that doesn’t stop her from staring straight at me as she says adds: “You know, fucking.”

Poor Matty is bright red beside her. Shirtless too, his suit discarded across Lily’s dresser, so there’s no hiding the flush that brands his neck and shoulders.

I feel strangely grateful at the sight of it—not him being shirtless, but him being embarrassed.

Maybe it’s a bit dickish of me, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who still feels uncomfortable by this whole thing.

Even if I want it. Which, yeah. I do.

My gaze drifts to Lily’s bare legs, those miles of honed muscle and that soft curve of thigh peeking out near the edges of her sleep-shorts. To her slender arms, still faintly golden with the last vestiges of her tan, and the scooping neck of her tank revealing the tops of her breasts.

My legs move before I can think about it, bringing me around to Matty’s side of the bed.

“Sure,” I tell her, trying to sound nonchalant. But my heart is hammering like a rabbit on the run as I throw myself onto the bed. “Let’s hang out.”

The next few minutes are a blur, a whirlwind of me quietly panicking in my own head while trying to engage in conversation, trying to ignore Liam’s occasional jibes.

Of holding her hand as I lay belly-down on the mattress, of tracing the shape of her knee with my fingertips and meditating on the shape of her smile.

And then suddenly I’m kissing her.

I’m not sure how it happens, exactly. Or why. But somehow she’s pulling me towards her, guiding me like her own personal puppet with the gentlest of touches until I’m climbing over her, my knees between her spread thighs, my hands finding her waist, my lips against her own.

Her hands tangle in the hair at the nape of my neck, no longer gentle, but demanding. Pulling me down onto her as she slides beneath me on the mattress.

My hand slips up her tank top, sliding up soft skin to cradle one breast, thumbing a taut nipple. She moans into my mouth, and the sound of it vibrates through the very core of me, down my spine, pushing wildfire in my veins.

That sound, it’s like dynamite detonated at the top of the mountain. I’m helpless against it, caught in the rushing avalanche, flying even as the world explodes around me.

Time stops. Then speeds up. Then slows.

I’m peeling off her top, trailing kisses along her stomach, the underside of her breasts, engulfing one nipple and then the next in my mouth, teasing one then the other with my tongue. She arches beneath me, her knees spreading wide, her little panting breaths coming faster and faster.

I love that sound. Love knowing that I’m making her do that. For me. She’s doing it for me.

Not them.

My eyes flick up as I remember that the other guys are here too. And Matty. This is supposed to be his special night.

Reluctantly, I pull back, breathing heavily as I lift up and look around.

Antoine and Matty are kissing, both of them still sitting at the head of the bed, their torsos forming a sort of archway over Lily. She lays back on the mattress, staring up between them, her chest heaving and breasts marked from my kisses.

Liam is nestled face-down between Antoine’s spread thighs, so it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there.

But Matty and Antoine?

“Um.” I sit back on my heels, rubbing at my forehead in confusion. “Are you guys...”

I dare a glance at Liam, wondering for the briefest of moments if he’s aware that his boyfriend is making out with Matty. But surely, surely he must know. Antoine wouldn’t just let Liam suck his cock while secretly kissing another dude.

Matty and Antoine pull apart, their lips glistening obscenely as they both turn to me. Lily props herself up on her elbows, her lips parted and pupils blown, the smallest of frowns on her face.

Why did you stop , she’s probably thinking.

I’m asking myself the same question. Yes, why Eddie? Why did you stop?

“Yeah. Um. So.” Matty rubs the back of his neck, glancing sheepishly to where Liam is still just doing what he’s doing. “I guess I’m into guys now, too,” Matty mutters.

Antoine shoots me a glare—a surprising feat all things considered—as if expecting me to be a jerk about Matty’s admission.

Which, honestly, seems a bit of a rude assumption to make.

I’ve been cool with the pair of them basically kicking me out of my room each night.

Why the fuck would I care if Matty’s joining in?

“That’s epic.”

A smile curves my lips, a wide smile that should be reserved for people winning the lottery.

But maybe I have won the lottery. Because now, I don’t have to feel the tiniest bit guilty about being a greedy asshole and wanting to keep Lily all to myself.

Or mostly to myself. Or at least having her to myself right now in this particular moment.

Even if this is Matty’s engagement night.

“I’m super happy for you,” I tell him honestly.

And man am I so, so happy. I’d be even happier if the three of them got back to doing whatever it was they were doing so I could enjoy my time with Lily. Uninterrupted.

I wave one hand in Antoine’s direction, giving Matty an encouraging smile and nod. Go on, buddy. Get to it. Kiss your boyfriend while his other boyfriend is blowing him. It’ll be fun. Super fun. I’m just going to be here with Lily, making her come. Probably fucking her, if I’m lucky.

Liam, of course, choses that moment to join the conversation.

I start in surprise as Antoine’s cock pop’s free of Liam’s mouth. It bobs there obscenely, wet and swollen, hitting Liam’s cheek as he turns to look at me. Just, casual as. No biggie.

“Well, now that that’s all sorted,” Liam drawls, “are you going to make our girlfriend come or what?”

I glare at him, my teeth baring as I contemplate spitting out some sharp reply, then realise a response would be completely pointless. Because yes. Yes, I am going to make our girlfriend come.

My grimace quickly turns into a smug grin as I contemplate Lily. The beautiful woman spread out before me like my own personal feast, those perfect breasts just waiting for more attention. Only those little sleep shorts hiding all of her from view.

Her eyes are locked on me, trailing over my shirtless body like it’s something special. Like it’s something worth looking at. Like I’m someone worth loving.

“Well,” she breathes, her gaze dipping to where my cock is currently attempting to punch a hole through my sweatpants. “What he said. Are you going to make me come or what?”