Page 51 of At First Smile

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Powerless

Rowan

“ A vegan version?” asks Yasmine Nor, Axel’s manager.

Leaned back against the booth’s plush leather, a smile kicks across my face, as she flips through Gillian’s proposed menu changes.

I’d told my brother Axel’s kitchen is his.

As we sit in a corner booth in the dining room, it’s clear he’s taken me at my word.

After years of free-ish reign at Fiona’s, it’s not surprising that he’d have ideas. Lots and lots of ideas.

“Yes. As well as a gluten-free option.” Reaching across the table, Gillian points to the proposed fixed menu for a Sunday roast. “In fact, I think we need to revamp the entire menu to provide more vegan and gluten-free options. It will mean some changes to the kitchen to ensure no cross-contamination.”

“I thought this was supposed to be just a friendly meet and greet?” Yasmine snorts, one sculpted eyebrow arching.

“We met. We greeted. Let’s work.” Gillian taps his fingers on the table’s smooth oak surface.

Leave it to my brother to not mince words or waste time.

After a long pause, Yasmine grins. “I like your style. Let’s get to it.”

Of course, my no-nonsense manager and Gillian would hit it off. Yasmine runs the front end of Axel’s with the precision of a stunt driver. She’s not scared to make changes or take risks, but they’re always calculated to ensure the best outcome.

Laughing, I flip through Gillian’s other requests. Turns out my brother, who’s supposed to be getting settled in his first week in L.A., has come by Axel’s every day since he’s arrived. He’s inspected the kitchen, reviewed the menu, and met with staff.

“Axel’s should be a place for everyone, no matter their dietary restrictions.” Gillian clicks his pen before scribbling notes on the paper menu.

“A place for all.” Yasmine’s face lights up. “I like that! We could use that for a marketing plan to promo some of these changes. I know some local food influencers that could highlight us.” A wry expression covers her face. “Perhaps, someone’s popular social media girlfriend can?—”

“Pen’s not that type of influencer,” I interrupt with a chuckle.

“Actually,” Gillian clicks his tongue. “There are many individuals with disabilities or chronic conditions that require specialized diets. It’s totally up her page’s alley.”

Face scrunched, I lean in. “Are you following my girlfriend on social media?”

“Yep.”

“You don’t even follow me ,” I tut playfully.

“Well, she’s interesting.” Despite the insult, warmth shines in his eyes.

Amusement slants my mouth into a lopsided smile. The trepidation of this fresh start still lingers between us. I won’t pretend it doesn’t, but moments like this I relax into, not just a future, but a here and now with my big brother.

“Speaking of Pen, looks like she’s calling.” He points to my buzzing mobile atop the table, a picture of Pen and GB flashes on the screen.

“Be right back.” I grab the phone, stand up, and start to walk away. “Hey, luv.”

“Hi…um… I’m sorry to call during your meeting,” she says, a gentle quiver skitters in her voice.

Concern hits me like a slapshot, and I halt abruptly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…uh…I’m okay.”

She’s lying.

“I got bit by a dog and?—”

“What?” I spin.

Gillian and Yasmine stare at me with lifted brows.

“Where?”

“My hand,” she says.

“I mean—” I exhale a breath and rub my temples. “Where did this happen? How?”

She swallows hard. “On my way from the bus stop.”

Fuck . If I’d not been late this morning, I’d be home. I’d be with her. This may not have happened.

“I’m so sorry?—”

“Hold on,” she cuts me off, muffled voices drifting over the line.

“Pen, who’s that?”

“The paramedics.”

“Paramedics?” My heart thunders in my chest.

A pen clatters to the table as Gillian shoots to his feet. Within a breath he’s beside me, face drawn with worry.

“Baby, it’s okay. They’re going to take me to the hospital. It’s just a precaution. I swear. I just wanted to make sure you knew. I’m okay, I promise.”

Only she doesn’t sound okay. Each measured word quakes with the truth underneath her verbal brave face. She’s scared, and so am I.

“Which hospital? I’m on my way.”

“No, it’s ok. I’ll?—”

“Which hospital?” I repeat. The fear coursing inside me overpowers my ability to just listen. I’ll apologize later, after I have her in my arms.

“Sacred Heart,” she pauses, a slight catch in her breath. “I love you.”

The hidden almost whimper as she says that guts me. My strong girl is working so hard to not break, but I hear pieces of her brave front crumble in every hissed breath and trembling word.

“I love you, too.” I swallow thickly. “I’m leaving now.”

“Okay,” she whispers.

“I’ll call JoJo, so she can be with you ‘til I get there.”

“Okay.” A small sniffle breaks through. “Rowan, I’m going to get in the ambulance now.”

“Let me know when you get there.”

“Okay… I promise I’m ok.”

“I know…but I won’t be ‘til I see you. You know how it is; you’re the strong one, and I’m the needy fuck.” I force a smile into my words, hoping it eases the worry that underscores her tone.

“Rowan?” Gillian’s hand lands on my shoulder as I end the call. “What’s wrong?”

I rake my fingers into my hair. “Pen was attacked by a dog. They’re taking her to the hospital… I need to go.” Slipping my mobile into my back pocket, I turn.

“Hold on.” Gillian tugs me to a stop. “You’re in no state to drive.”

“I’m fine.” I pull away and stride towards the door.

He jumps in front of me. “Give me your keys.”

“What?”

“I’m driving.” He extends his palm. “You’ll be no good to Pen if you get in an accident or pulled over because you’re driving like a man desperate to get to the woman he loves.”

“He’s right, Rowan,” Yasmine cautions.

“Fine.” I hand over my keys.

Goddamn L.A. traffic .

Ninety minutes later, Gillian pulls up in front of the ER. “You go in. I’ll park and meet you inside.”

“Thanks.” I unbuckle and open the door.

“Game face,” he says, repeating what he’d told me on our way here.

For the entire drive, I funneled through all the emotions. Guilt about not being there. Worry she is hurt worse than she says. Anger that this happened.

Gillian lays a hand on my forearm. “Get those emotions out here. Because once you walk into that room you’ll need to be there for her feelings, not your own.”

I inhale sharply, then let the breath snake back out. I repeat the cycle and then step out of the car.

Each thump of my heartbeat as I enter the ER drowns out the murmured conversations of the half-filled waiting room and overhead announcements. Scanning the room, I don’t see Pen or JoJo, so I hurry to the reception desk.

“Pen Meadows,” I rasp, reaching the clerk.

The clerk blinks and grabs a clipboard from behind the counter. “Are you checking in? You’ll need to fill this out.”

“No, my girlfriend is here. Pen Meadows.”

“Oh, okay,” Chuckling, the clerk pulls up something on the computer.

“Can I go back and see her?”

“Patients are only allowed one loved one back there at a time.”

JoJo must be back there with her; she’d messaged when she arrived an hour ago. If I can’t be with Pen, at least one of her other people is there. Still, worry spools tight in my stomach. That knot won’t be undone until I see her, until I touch her.

“Can you tell me how she’s doing?” I scrub my hand down my face.

“Sorry, I can only release info to immediate family.”

“She is my family, and I’m hers,” I snarl, my fists balling at my side.

“Sir, if you’ll take a seat in the waiting room, I can check with the nurse assigned to her case who can speak directly with the patient.”

“I’ll wait here.”

“Sir, I have other people behind you. Please take a seat or?—”

“Or what?” I hiss.

“Or nothing.” A strong hand curls around my shoulder. “Because you’re going to take a seat, and we’re going to wait while this nice clerk does their job,” Gillian commands firmly.

My brother tugs me away. As if I’m a toddler in the midst of a tantrum, I stomp along. Flinging myself into an orange plastic chair, I slump against the seat, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Text JoJo and tell her you’re here.” He plops beside me.

Within a few minutes of my text, JoJo enters the waiting room. A calm expression covers her face. She looks as if she’d come straight from the gym in pink yoga pants and a black tank top with white letters that read: I like Big Squats and I Cannot Lie . Loose blonde curls escape from her messy bun.

“Yoga pants.” Gillian’s awed murmur draws my attention.

“Hey,” JoJo says, a soft smile on her face.

I stand up.

And so does Gillian. “JoJo.”

Her brown eyes bounce to him, annoyance glinting in them, and then back to me.

“She’s alright. The dog did a number on her right hand.

Her hand is sprained. Additionally, her ring finger and the back of her hand are damaged.

They’ve flushed the wounds but won’t be doing stitches to close them.

They’re splinting the finger and bandaging the wounds in hopes it will close in a few days.

It will take a week or so to heal. She’ll also be on some strong antibiotics to combat potential infection.

They gave her a tetanus shot, and after they go over the release paperwork, she’ll be free to go. ”

“She’s okay?” I ask, my chest rises and falls with ragged breath.

“Yes.”

“Can I see her?”

“Here she comes now.” Gillian squeezes my shoulder.

I dart my gaze to the ER doors, where a frowning Pen, with Cane Austen folded on her lap, is wheeled out by a laughing nurse.

“Luv—” I break away and go straight to her. “You’re okay.” I cup her face, my thumbs skating along her smooth skin.

Bright blue gauze is wrapped around her splinted right ring finger.

Red scratches crisscross the top of her hand where it’s not covered by the bandage.

A plastic bag, with the blazer I know she’d been wearing today, specks of blood on it, sits underneath her cane.

Another bandage covers where they’d given her the shot on her upper left arm.