Page 48 of Ashley & the A-Listers (Sweetverse)

48. AMENDS

RIVER

He couldn’t get off set fast enough, like most days. Which of course meant three different people needed to talk to him, and he had to review a scene they’d shot that day. It was later than usual when he finally tossed his messenger bag over his shoulder and beat feet for the exit.

The metal bar clacked loudly against the door as he pushed it open, and he almost tripped as he saw who was waiting for him.

“There you are,” Ashley said softly.

“H-hey,” River greeted, glancing around for Cameron or Dylan.

“Just me,” she said, holding her hands up in a sign of awkward, playful surrender. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“What’s up?” he asked, gripping his bag to hold himself steady.

“Sorry to kind of ambush you,” she said, and brushed a hand through her hair. “Cam and Dylan went ahead already. I wanted to talk to you.”

If Cam and Dylan had gone ahead, why hadn’t Ashley gone with them? Weren’t they happy, all playing pack together?

He pushed the annoyance away. “Okay,” he said, hands beginning to sweat. “What’s up?”

It was getting chillier as filming went on, and she was dressed in an oversized sweater and jeans to combat the breeze. She looked cozy, comfortable, and… guilty. “I wanted to… apologize,” she said, brushing hair from her eyes.

River blinked. “What?”

“It wasn’t fair that I bonded Cameron without thinking. Not to either of you,” she said. “I really just… wormed my way in between the two of you, and didn’t realize how much distance I was creating.” She winced, shaking her head, and River was struck silent, surprised. “And I didn’t come here to give you something else to dwell over—I just wanted you to know… I understand. I’m sorry I hurt you, that I was too hung up on making my perfect pack without considering the consequences, or the people that might be hurt by my rash decisions. That wasn’t very pack alpha of me.”

Her half smile was sad, and together, in that moment, they commiserated over the situation they’d tangled themselves up in.

“I think Cam’s an easy person to love,” River said. “He pulls you into his orbit and when you’re there… it’s bliss.”

Blissful enough to ignore years of the same signs. “If you want to know the truth, I think we had an expiration date. I wasn’t happy, being a kept secret. And eventually I would’ve realized that, with or without your intervention.”

“I don’t believe that,” Ashley said, shaking her head, her frown even more severe. “I think the secret had an expiration date. Not you and Cameron. You love Cameron, and he loves you.”

River had done a pretty decent job at focusing strictly on work, and only wallowing in the evenings when he was in the hotel alone. Faced with it now, his hurt welled anew, and he gulped. “He sure had a funny way of showing it.”

“I’m not saying Cameron is blameless,” Ashley said. “And I'm not here to speak on his behalf; he has his own revelations to ponder. I came here to let you know you’re not alone, that I understand your frustration, and to apologize for my hand in it.”

River swallowed sharply. “Thank you. It… really hurt. That he chose you so easily. That you bonded him so suddenly. I think that’s on me more than it is on any of you.” She shouldn’t have to live her life tiptoeing around his insecurities.

“I knew, ” Ashley said, frustration with herself seeping into her tone. “I knew how you felt, and I still—” She cut herself off.

Still bonded Cam. Still left River out.

“It was insensitive. I’m sorry,” she said again. “I just can’t say that enough.”

“How’s Cameron?” River asked, because he couldn’t let her leave without asking.

“He’s… focusing on his lines. Distracting himself. He’s still coming to terms with how he hurt you, what he could’ve done differently. I think we all are,” she said.

“Dylan?” River asked, because he missed them. All of them.

“Dylan’s been… reading a lot of second chance romances,” Ashley said, and River chuckled. “I think he’s missing something. And I know Cameron is, too.”

“And you?” River finally questioned.

Ashley met his gaze, lips tugging down into a sad smile. “I miss you.”

River fidgeted, uncomfortable with this display of emotion even though it’s what he …wanted. A small part of him still hoped this wouldn’t be the end of them—that somehow they could get past all of it, come out on the other side better for it, together. But not without recognizing what went wrong.

“I won’t be a secret again,” River said.

“You shouldn’t have been in the first place,” Ashley said. “But I shouldn’t be the one to say that.”

“So is he ready? To talk?”

Why isn’t he here, then?

“I think he’s scared to face how much he messed up. But I know he has things to say. Things to apologize for.”

“Well. Tell him I'm waiting.” River shook his head. “Not waiting, like for him to forgive me or something, just?—

“Available for a chat,” Ashley suggested.

River sighed, nodding.

Silence settled between them, and River fought the urge to lean forward, but her scent was so lovely, and he’d missed it, missed her.

They stepped closer before either could stop, and her arms wrapped around him and he hugged her back, and it felt right. She squeezed him, and he cupped the back of her neck, the undercut tickling his palm. He’d missed this. Her. All of them.

“You still want your perfect pack?” he asked.

Ashley cleared her throat and stepped back. “It’s not complete without you.”

Her words made River feel lighter for the first time in a while.

Now if only Cameron would realize the same thing.