Page 36 of Ashley & the A-Listers (Sweetverse)

36. REALITY

RIVER

Cam sighed, his pill bottle of suppressants rattling as he pulled them out of the bathroom cabinet.

“Back to business, I guess,” Cam said, and opened the bottle to take one.

Relief filled River, which was unfortunate, and guilt flooded in right after. Cam’s heat was usually an oasis, practically a vacation for the two of them.

But this time had been… different.

Ashley had included him, yes—he flushed with heat just thinking about the way he’d fucked them both into the nest. But something had changed; something wasn’t settling right.

River wrapped his arms around Cam, his skin still warm from the shower. He pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “I enjoyed rolling around the nest with you for a few days. Thanks for having me there.”

Cam frowned in his reflection and spun to face him. “What? Don’t thank me. I want you there. It’s entirely selfish.”

River shrugged, a rattling at the bars of the cage his ribs made. “I’m glad. Love you,” he murmured, and Cam tilted his head up for a kiss. River was helpless but to deliver.

“I love you, too,” Cam murmured, lips grazing. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” River said. “Just in my head a bit. I don’t wanna go back to normal life.”

“You and me both,” Cameron agreed, and tugged him out of the bathroom and to the nest, which still smelled like honeyed vanilla and ginger and pussy. His own scent barely left a mark, but it was there, even if slight.

River busied himself at the closet, pausing with the doors open. “Aren’t you worried about smelling like the heat? Maybe we should wear clothes that are in the other room.”

Cameron’s lips tugged up. “You heard them last time. They don’t care.”

River scoffed. “They didn’t care about my scent. Ashley’s different.”

Bitterness leaked into his tone, and he swallowed it down. It didn’t matter.

He pulled a shirt out of the closet, one that matched Cameron’s eyes. When he turned to offer it, Cameron was inches away, and curled his arms around him like a friendly octopus.

“What’s going on in there?” Cam asked, and poked a finger into his forehead. River’s eyes crossed as he followed the digit.

“You’re practically fresh out of heat, I don’t want to bother?—“

“Your first mistake was thinking you’re ever a bother,” Cam said, frown in place, which was exactly what River was trying to avoid. He smoothed a finger over the bunched brow.

Conversations are hard. Hadn’t he said that to Dylan before?

“Tell me,” Cam demanded.

“I think I’m just feeling a bit territorial,” River said. “About you. With Ashley.”

That frown returned. “I thought you liked her?”

His scent was oozing stress already, and River rushed to reassure him. “I do, I do! I think she’s perfect for you. Us,” he corrected, cheeks flushing as he remembered some of the things she’d said to him during the heat. “I guess I just wish…” River huffed. “I know I’m a beta. I just wish my scent mark meant as much as hers does.” I wish I meant as much as she does.

Cam framed his face. His palms were warm against River’s face. “It matters to me. I know your marks are there. I can smell you, and I know what that means, even if no one else does.”

“What if I want other people to know?” River asked. “I love you. And I want the world to know it. I wanna shout it from the rooftops.”

Fear struck River suddenly. What if Cam just didn’t love him the same way? What if he didn’t want the world to know, for reasons that ran deeper than management? Than image?

Abort.

River would rather live a lie than learn that Cam was just like everyone else he had ever been with. Stringing him along until someone better came around.

Someone like Ashley.

Abort.

“Never mind,” River said, shaking his head. “We don’t need to talk about this now. We have the rest of today together. I don’t want to spoil it.”

His inbox was overflowing with emails and alerts, but he would enjoy this one last day in paradise with Cam before the real world encroached. How stupid of him to try to invite it in early.

But Cam’s frown was still in place.

“I’m not saying we ignore it,” River said. That’s exactly what he was hoping. “Let’s shelve it for today.”

“I don’t want you to think I’m dismissing your feel?—“

River kissed him mid-sentence. “I know you’re not. I picked a bad time. The real world has no place here,” he declared, and pulled Cameron through the nest. “Today is for recovery with the—with everyone.”

He’d almost called them a pack, but… they weren’t. Not in any official capacity.

It took Cameron a moment, but he acquiesced, giving into the tug of River’s hand.

“Okay, okay, real world tomorrow,” Cameron said. “But we will be circling back around to this.”

River nodded, pressed a kiss to the top of his head, and hoped he forgot. “Ready to face your trainer now that she’s locked you six ways to Sunday?” River asked. Facing her was almost scarier than this conversation.

“Dylan told me something,” Cam said, and River pulled back.

“What was it?”

“Ashley wants a pack.”

River blinked, alarms going off inside his head. He tried to shut them off but couldn’t find the button. “And you want a pack?” he asked, feeling lightheaded.

Cam’s hand tightened on his shirt. “ We want a pack, don’t we?” Cam asked, a small frown on his lips.

River wanted to say yes. And maybe four weeks ago, he would have. But now he was filled with fear that every bit Ashley grew closer to Cam, the further he would get pushed away.

“What about Dylan?” he asked, swallowing.

“Dylan wants what Ashley wants, or at least that’s what he told me.”

River wanted to be like that. Wanted to want what Cameron wanted, no matter what. To be a good partner.

“When did this happen?”

“At breakfast, before you joined us.”

River’s brain was dialing up like a computer from the 90s. He guessed the real world was catching up to them, whether they wanted it to or not. “Is that—do we—are you—?” River didn’t know what he was asking, what the correct answer was. The two of them did want a pack, in theory. They’d discussed it. But how did a pack work with their crazy lives? Packs were settled, stationary. Or at least normal ones were.

Are we normal?

“How does this work?” River asked. “What about your image? Management?”

What about keeping us a secret?

“I don’t know,” Cameron answered, brow furrowed. “But you know I… like Ashley. A lot,” he admitted, cheeks coloring. River remembered the way he’d arched into her, begged for her bite. “I think Dylan is a good guy, I’m just not interested in being knotted by him. But he takes care of us in his own way, bodyguarding aside,” Cameron added. “And you’re my guy. I love you. I think we all mesh well. I just want…” Cam wrapped his arms around him again, and River squeezed him tightly, feeling Cam’s inhale as their chests crushed together.

“You want me?” River said, meaning to summarize the situation, but it came out like a question. He held his breath waiting for the answer, until Cameron nodded his head against his shoulder. “You want Ashley.”

Cameron nodded again.

“We’re not even public, Cam,” River whispered. “You can’t have a whole pack in secret.”

Cameron whined, a purely omega sound that made River want to bend the world to his desires. Not as a biological response, but because River loved him and wanted to fix everything.

“I hate it,” Cam said. “Other omegas in the media have partners. Why can’t I?”

“I think that’s a question for Christian.”

“What if I fired him?” Cam asked, pulling back. He had that furrow to his brow, the angry, bratty one. “He’s an asshole. I can find new management, someone who wants to help me transition my image.”

“What about the movies?”

“What about them? They wouldn’t cancel them now, ” Cam argued.

“Green-lit projects get shelved all the time,” River pointed out. At Cam’s frustrated silence, River sighed softly. “Can I ask you a question?” River asked. Because he had to know.

He’d been begging Cameron to go public with them for years. Now, suddenly, when Ashley joined the discussion, Cameron was ready to take the leap.

Was he being unreasonable?

Was it so unreasonable to want to feel like he mattered?

Sometimes… sometimes River felt like he was in a love story. One better than anything he could ever write.

The only downside was keeping it a secret. Being a kept secret.

He could be grateful he might finally get what he’s always wanted. Even if it wasn’t for the reason he preferred.

“You can ask me anything,” Cam said, gaze flicking between River’s eyes.

River swallowed the bitter taste of anger. “I’ve been asking for so long for us to go public, to no avail. And now, after one heat with Ashley you’re ready to drop the facade immediately?” Cam frowned, and River’s face felt hot. “Are you doing it, considering finally going public, for me… or Ashley?”

“We’ve talked about going public before, just the two of us,” Cam pointed out.

River nodded. He wasn’t denying that. “I know, I know. We talked about it, sure. You just sound… like you might actually do it this time.” River admitted, stomach turning. “And the only thing different now is the idea of a pack. With Ashley.”

He couldn’t do it for me. Because I’m not enough. Just a beta.

His cheeks were red, he could feel it. Was he going to cry? Get a hold of yourself.

“River,” Cameron said, reaching up to frame his face with his hands. “I love you.”

River sucked in a breath. Nodded.

“I’m going to do it. For us. Me and you. Fuck the franchise.”

His throat hurt.

“I’m going to prove to you that you’re mine. I’ll shout it from the rooftops, and no one is going to stop me from doing so.”

“Cam, this is your career. I don’t want to guilt you into?—“

“You’re not guilting me into anything. I want this. I want to be able to take you out to dinner. To hold your hand.”

River gulped, disastrous hope blooming in his chest, vines curling through his ribs.

“I want to put my arm around you in public,” Cam admitted. “I want to kiss you and not have to worry about who will see.”

“I do, too,” River said, and tugged him forward into a hug.

River rocked back and forth with him, heart cracking wide open, tears threatening to spill, but he held them back. Cameron loved him, River knew that. Of course he did. He wasn’t waiting for something, someone better to come around. He wanted River.

And River wanted him.

“Alright,” River said. “You just let me know when I can be there for you. Do you want me to be there when you talk to Christian?”

“No, I need to do this myself. And I know exactly how.”

“The interview at the start of next week?” River asked, gulping. That was so soon.

“Yeah, that one,” Cameron said, his smile pure. “That’s the perfect opportunity.”

“You’ll do it?” River asked, hopeful and hesitant.

“I will. It’s time. I promise.”

“I love you,” River said, burying the words in Cam’s wet hair.

“I love you, too,” Cam said. “I can’t wait to prove it.”

River sighed, his entire soul relaxing at the promise of this weight being lifted off them.

He hoped it was a promise Cameron would keep.