Page 96 of Ashes

There was no point in lying. “Yeah, I think I do,” I answered honestly, my voice almost a whisper.

Kenna gave me a small smile.

“But I can’t… I shouldn’t,” I added, reaching for my now cold espresso to sip on it.

I was falling in love with my husband and if I was being honest with myself, I’d been falling for Jamal for a while now.

“Why?” they both asked.

I glanced back and forth between them. “I…” I tried to find the words but couldn’t think of anything. “Nothing.”

“I think, aside from your very obvious feelings, you need to ask yourself if you want this, if you can see this working out,” Kenna said, a soft expression on her face.

She was right. I knew she was right. My reservations weren’t just ifIwanted this.

Didhewant this?

I’m here to collect what’s mine.

The words echoed in my mind, reminding me of how Jamal and I had met.

Our relationship was built on a transactional foundation. This all started as a business transaction. I was collateral damage, a debt collected, and I couldn’t help but wonder if that’s all my husband saw me as.

A payment.

A blaring ringtone interrupted my thoughts. Esra’s phone flashed with an incoming call, Kenna’s face replaced by the name “asshole” showing up on the screen.

Esra’s face contorted in exasperation and she let the call go to voicemail, but her phone rang again the second after. This time she declined it.

“Everything okay?” Kenna asked.

“Yes, everything’s fine,” Esra replied, a tight smile on her face.

Her phone rang again with another call, followed by an incoming text that said, “Answer.”

She let out a frustrated sigh.

“I’m sorry. I have to take this or he won’t stop calling,” Esra said, apologizing.

We quickly said our goodbyes to Kenna and Esra finally answered.

Concern sprouted in my chest as I watched her listen to whatever her boss was telling her on the phone without saying a word. I couldn’t exactly hear what he was saying, but his harsh tone was loud enough for me to hear through the phone.

She simply muttered a disgruntled “okay” before hanging up on him. Then she looked over at me and my uneasiness about her situation grew. Esra rarely looked rattled, if ever, so whatever he’d told her must’ve really pissed her off.

Her shoulders slumped. “I’m so sorry to bail on you, but there’s an emergency at work and I have to go.”

“It’s okay, go.” I placed a hand on her thigh, hoping to reassure her. She grabbed her purse and reached for her wallet, but I stopped her. “I’ve got you. Text me when you get there.”

She downed her black coffee and wrapped her croissant in a napkin before dropping a kiss on my cheek.

“Love you,” she said before sliding out of the booth from the other side.

As soon as she stepped out of Fiori, I opened my phone to continue reading some of the research I was goingthrough for my presentation that was due next week at work while I finished eating.

Once I was done, I settled the bill and texted Valentina that I was ready to go whenever she was, returning to my reading as I waited for her response. A few minutes later, my phone pinged with a reply from her, notifying me that she was outside.

That was fast.