Page 15 of Ashes

I wasn’t sure which “he” they were referring to since I could barely hear the rest of their conversation after they moved farther into his office, but I just assumed they were talking about my future in-laws.

“You look beautiful,” my father whispered once I reached the closed double doors of the ballroom.

I glanced over at him to find his eyes filled with unshed tears, his hands smoothing down over his tux. I’d never seen my father cry, and it chipped at the walls I’d put up when I learned about his deceit.

But this was his doing, so I looked away from him. Hooking my arm into the crook of his, I squared my shoulders and said, “Let’s get this over with.”

I knew I was being harsh, but I was getting tired of being nice and sparing everyone’s feelings in spite of my own.

As I looked through the glass doors and down to the other side of the aisle where Mateo was waiting for me, my throat threatened to close up. I knew this day would come, and yet, standing here, it felt like I was diving head first off a cliff.

I wasn’t ready, but I didn’t have the privilege to be ready. I just had to be.

The ceremony was being held at the Plaza, one of the many hotels the Barreras owned. A cream carpet served asa segue from my old life and toward my husband-to-be. A few chairs flanked both sides of the aisle, flower arrangements decorating them. The setup was small and simple, but that’s how I insisted for this wedding to be.

Both of our families wanted a much bigger ceremony, but I didn’t see the point in spending money we didn’t have on an event that didn’t have a meaning beyond ink scribbled on a piece of paper. I’d become a master at masking my emotions, but I knew this day would already be draining, so the fewer people I had to put on a show for, the better.

The music started and two guards swung the doors open.

Then I walked toward my unwanted future, each step I took toward him setting my new reality in stone.

My free hand found the side of my thigh.

Tap.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I felt the heat of everyone’s stare and my plastered smile faltered under their perusal.

Tap.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

It’ll be over soon, I reassured myself.

I tried looking for Kenna and Esra for support but remembered I’d told them to skip the wedding since this wasn’t real. So instead, my gaze landed on my younger sisters.

Akari & Iris were both beaming at me because theythought this charade was a happy event. That I was in love and about to marry the man of my dreams.

Sometimes, I wondered how was it that younger siblings seemed to never share the same weight of duty as the eldest did. Was it because we took it all upon ourselves or because it’d been imposed on us?

I forced my gaze away from them and shifted my attention to the Barreras’ side where everyone looked at me with hope.

At least one side is excited about this union.

Omar Barrera, the head of the family, watched me expectantly from his front seat as my father handed me over to his son.

My father dropped a kiss to my temple and met Mateo’s gaze, a pleading look in his eyes. “Please take care of my daughter,” he whispered before clearing his throat and moving to his designated seat next to my mother.

I swallowed my emotion down and willed my trembling hand to stop shaking as Mateo wrapped his fingers around mine.

The room blurred out of focus and I finally fixed my gaze on my betrothed. He was wearing a simple black suit, a crisp white shirt underneath, and a black bow tie. His dirty-blond hair was combed back and he was wearing a small smile.

In other circumstances, I might have found him pretty, but being forced to marry him was kind of ruining his appeal.

The officiant cleared his throat and started the ceremony.

“We are gathered here today to witness the union of Sienna Bruni and Mateo Barrera.”