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“We can’t have a sexual relationship,” I told him.

He touched my shoulders as he pushed me back, but I couldn’t meet his eyes.

Instead, I looked at his ceiling. “That might be what you’re used to, and I don’t understand all these rules, but the only thing I can’t do is to be here for you physically. ”

I could see him open his mouth from the corner of my vision, and I pressed my finger to his lips.

“But,” I continued, "you can all flirt with me… if you want.” It ma de sense that they were starved for genuine contact. “If it makes you feel better, we can pretend. I don’t mind.”

“Bianca…” Damen started.

“But—” I cut him off once more. “Please don’t let me know when you fulfill your biological needs elsewhere.” I stumbled through the words. “I’m giving you all permission to flirt with me, but I know doing this isn’t going to satisfy you. It’s fine, I don’t want—”

“Bianca, stop,” Damen said, and my gaze shot from my hands to his face.

I expected him to be blushing—goodness knows I was. But what I didn’t count on was the careful, blank mask over his expression.

“That won’t happen.” He was studying me in a way that made my breath catch.

My heart fell.

“Once you agree to be with any one of us in any capacity, there will be no one else for that individual. And I can speak for everyone when I say that none of us has any desire to ‘fulfill our needs’ elsewhere,” Damen said.

“But blue balls!” I gasped. “Won’t they kill you in the end?”

Damen groaned, covering his face with his hand. “I cannot believe that I am having this conversation.”

“But—”

“No, Bianca.” When Damen met my gaze, he spoke without a hint of embarrassment. “A man will not die from not having sex. Although, you might need to be understanding if someone needs to leave the room or wants privacy.”

“Oh, but—”

“Wait.” Damen frowned, rubbing his chin. His grey eyes watched my face. “How is it that you don’t know what a happy ending is, but you know about blue balls? ”

My heart, which had been racing with anxiety, stumbled over itself at the enormity of my mistake.

“There’s something different about your expectations of sex.” Damen’s eyes never left mine. “Are you speaking from personal experience?”

The blood rushed from my head, and I felt faint. “I’m not sure—”

Yet Damen kept on going. “Did Finn and you ever—”

“No!” I pushed back, landing on my butt. My back pressed against the mirror as I wrapped my arms around my knees. This was the most horrifying conversation ever.

“I’m not completely stupid!” I continued, my voice slightly panicky. “You need to give me a little bit of credit if you want to be friends with benefits.”

“What the hell?” Julian stormed into the room, followed by Miles.

“What are you talking about?” Julian glowered as he grabbed Damen’s shirt and pressed him against the wall. “You came up here to apologize, not to discuss friends with benefits!”

Meanwhile, Miles was holding on to Julian’s arm, which might have been the only thing currently saving the onmyoji from death.

“Don’t jump to conclusions,” Damen replied with a mild shrug, seemingly uncaring about his life. “It’s not what you think. She’s okay with it.”

“How is it not what I think?” Julian asked. “What are you saying?”

“Um…” I moved from my knees and shifted my weight from side to side. “I—I was just saying that it’s o-okay…” I looked away, biting my lip. “That is, if you want to use me like that.”

Julian’s furious gaze shifted back to Damen. “Like what ?”

“Like—” I stepped to them and touched Julian’s hand. I didn’t want him to be angry. “—I want to be useful in any way you need.” I looked away from him, my face heating. “If you don’t want to, that’s fine too.”

“But we’d need to be discreet about moving forward,” Damen added firmly. “At least until everything is in the open and we no longer need to think about the Council’s interference. Then people would expect just a repeat of history—or at least, what they think they know.”

I glanced at him. Repeat of history?

“What are you talking about?” Miles was rubbing his temples. “You weren’t even involved,” he told Damen. “You were too much of a dick.”

“You…” I stepped back and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear as my cheeks grew hot. “Sorry,” I said softly and pushed my toes against the floor. “It was a stupid plan.”

There was a short silence before Julian was in front of me, grasping my hands. “No, darling,” he said. “We just have no idea what you two are talking about.”

I glanced at Damen, and he me. He and I understood each other perfectly, but somehow, the others were lost. How could we make this any clearer?

“You’re in need of female companionship,” I told Miles and Julian. I suppose the easiest way would be to break it down into pieces. “I am a female. And I am a companion.”

Julian furrowed his brows. “Okay? I’m still not sure—”

“She’s going to continue to stay with us—as our female companion—so that the Council and no one has anything to say about it,” Damen said, following my lead.

I was pleased that we were in a mutual state of mind on this.

He held his finger up in the air as he continued, “But as things progress, we are free to lavish her with well-deserved affection with her blessing.”

“What is wrong with you two? Why ‘continue’ to stay? Where would she go?” Miles frowned as he looked between us. “And why are you making it seem like she’s some kind of pet?”

“She’s not a pet.” Damen glowered at Miles. “We’re fulfilling our mutual emotional support needs in each other.”

“That still sounds like she’s a pet,” Miles muttered.

“No.” I stepped closer to him and grabbed his hand. I could be offended he called me a pet another day, but this was important. “We’re friends.”

“And more than friends,” Damen added. “As it should be.”

I nodded in agreement as a glimmer of recognition finally shone on the other two boys’ faces. They had finally gotten it.

Yes, we were more than friends—we were best friends.

It was so very clear. Nothing scandalous could come of this.

We would support each other while I was available for them to rely upon.

Maybe, even perhaps, a little innocent flirting with no further expectations while the world remained in the dark about my real identity—all for the sake of our mutual private enjoyment.

That was exactly what I had communicated.

“I think I understand now.” Julian sighed, touching his forehead. He stepped closer to me and touched my shoulder. “You’re okay with it—this early?”

“Of course.” I smiled at him. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Just so long as everyone was on the same page, nothing could go wrong.