Page 26
Julian had returned by the time we walked into the room, although he was wearing the most peculiar expression. It made me hesitant to announce myself.
That hadn’t taken long.
But Maria had no such qualms about interrupting their conversation. “We’re back!” she announced. The boys jumped as she bounded into the room and returned to her cushion. “Now it’s time to kick your ass, Montrone!”
I fidgeted and silently cursed her for leaving me alone in the doorway. Where was our sisterhood? Wasn’t she supposed to help me?
My heart was thundering as Damen half-heartedly glanced in my direction. “What do you…” His voice trailed off, and my self-consciousness reared its ugly head.
This was bad. What other reason would have Miles looking so pale? Julian, in the meantime, was unable to tear his gaze away from me.
And Damen?
Well, apparently, the sight of me was so awful that he seemed about to cry.
“Damn it, Maria!” Damen’s voice shattered the heavy silence, causing me to flinch. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“What’s your problem?” Maria crossed her arms, glaring. “She looks adorable, and she likes it. Suck it up and be a gentleman.”
Damen was rubbing his eyes with his fists, purging the sight of me from his retinas. “You know what my problem is!”
Julian snapped to attention, his vision drifting between me and Damen. “Damen, wait. Think before you—”
“What the hell were you thinking?” Damen growled, ignoring Julian. He pointed in my direction. “You can’t expect me to be happy when she looks like that. It’s torture.”
Torture.
Tears filled my vision as his words cut through me. “I’m sorry…”
I thought it was okay to do what I liked, especially because they’d seen me basically naked before. And besides, I was still completely covered. But now I knew they had acted kindly because they were nice people.
Everyone’s eyes snapped toward me, and Damen paled.
“Hold on, baby girl. That’s not what I—” he began, shooting out of his chair as he reached for me. But I stepped back.
“You idiot!” Julian glared at him. “What happened to your smooth-talking?”
Miles, in the meantime, had been struck dumb. Maria crossed her arms.
Damen ignored them and took another step. I couldn’t breathe. The instinct to flee was overwhelming now. I dodged his hand, rushing to make this better.
I would never do this again. “I’ll get changed. ”
Damen stood before me, and his eyes shone with determination. “Hey—”
But I didn’t hear what he had to say. I was already gone.
I slammed Damen’s bedroom door shut behind me and slumped to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest. I was one hundred percent, completely and irredeemably, an idiot.
It wasn’t even a full minute later before there was a knock on the door.
“Bianca,” Damen said, voice determined. “Please open the door.”
“Go away,” I responded, touching my shaking hand to my mouth. “I told you I’ll get changed. Just wait a second.” I had to preserve the little dignity I had left.
“Baby, open the door,” he said. “I need to talk to you.”
“No.”
His voice was softer now. “Please?”
When the plea reached me, I lifted my head. It felt wrong. He didn’t seem like the type to beg.
It was stupid, but I pulled myself up and opened the door—just a crack.
Damen was there, of course, and as soon as the door had given an inch, he pressed into the room. Before I could move or even hide, my hands were grasped in his. He gazed down at me, his face sad.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean it like that at all.”
“Why did you call me ‘baby’?” I asked, my mind clinging to anything other than my humiliation.
Damen’s brow furrowed. “What?”
“You call me ‘baby girl.’ You’ve only called me ‘baby’ once, and then you stopped. Are you using it when you’re upset or worried? I don’t understand.”
“What in the world are you talking about?” He seemed bewildered and shook his head. “They’re the same.”
“No, they’re not,” I protested. “One takes more effort to say.”
Something flickered in his gaze, understanding and—for some reason—amusement. It was almost offensive. He tugged me to him. “You’re so confusing. They’re the same.”
Confusing? I pressed against him, easily escaping his hold, and crossed my arms.
“And stop changing the subject. Don’t run away.” Damen sighed, tugging at my hands and keeping them warm in his grasp. “Why does it feel like you’re always running away?”
I opened my mouth but wasn’t sure if this was a rhetorical question. In any case, I thought the answer was clear.
It was the one thing I was semi-good at.
Regardless, why was he always flirting with me, especially if they thought I was hideous? We were supposed to be friends. There were rules. Why was he making this so difficult?
My thoughts were jumbled as I allowed Damen to guide me toward the mirror. He wrapped his forearms over my chest, and his eyes held mine in the mirror’s reflection.
“What are you thinking about?” Damen rested his chin on my head. “I know that you’re coming up with a billion theories, and I’d love to know what they are. But I can’t help unless you tell me. I need to know how badly I’ve screwed up.”
Even though his confident eyes held mine, there was an underlying tread of trepidation in his tone.
He was afraid.
“I say things without thinking sometimes.” Damen’s gaze never left mine. “It’s something I’ve been working on for a long time. And I’m not good at apologizing. ”
This… wasn’t what I expected. I wasn’t certain what might happen, but this vulnerable side of him was uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable, but also flattering. In my need to absolve his feelings, I ignored my own.
“I’m not good at talking to girls outside of the immediate group, and you’re new,” Damen continued. “This is torture because you’re everything I’ve dreamed for my future wife.”
I had been contemplating this newest information about Damen’s humility, but his words caused my thoughts to slam to a halt. “I beg your pardon?”
It was impossible to miss the redness creeping over Damen’s neck. “The lace, the little shorts, the ribbon in your hair, your back—”
“That’s not what I meant!” I interrupted, narrowing my eyes. The pieces of this puzzle were falling into place, and I didn’t like the full picture.
His gaze flickered over my face. After a moment, he moved, turning me to face him as he fell to his knees in front of me. From this position, my face was slightly above his.
But I didn’t care how cute he looked. How dare he lie to me.
“What did you mean?” Damen’s shyness retreated. “Bianca?”
“What’s this about a wife?” I asked. “You’ve said that you can’t date—none of us can.”
His face turned red again. “Well, yes. That’s right. It’s not possible. But we can have physical relationships.”
My heartbeat pounded in my ears. “It doesn’t sound like you want to sleep around. It sounds like you want to have a girlfriend.”
It didn’t make sense; he said he wanted to be friends. Surely, he didn’t want me for… that.
Damen grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me forward until our foreheads touched. His hands felt like a brand against my skin, shooting curls of warmth from his palm outward.
I was so distracted by his touch and the closeness of his mouth to mine that I almost missed his response.
“Yes,” he breathed so softly and full of emotion that my heart hurt. “I’ve wanted nothing more in life than to find the woman of my dreams, get married, have babies, and grow old together. I want to be normal.”
My stomach clenched painfully as his words mingled with the echo of my own desires.
I could understand how he felt. But why the pretenses and flirting?
I had never seen a man look so lonely before.
“Is that why you’re flirting with me?” I asked him.
Damen’s eyes popped open, and his head snapped back a few inches. “What?”
“Flirting,” I repeated, recalling some of the more elaborate attempts. “The four of you do it, and I’ve been so confused. I thought you all might be testing me.”
Damen blinked before answering. “You could tell that I was flirting?”
Had he lost his mind? There was no way he thought he was discreet.
“Of course.” I raised my eyebrow. “It was totally obvious. But since you couldn’t date, and we were friends, I figured something else might be the cause…”
My words trailed off as Damen pressed his finger against my lips.
His eyes shone with an intensity that wasn’t there before.
“I’ve been bad.” His lips quirked in a self-deprecating way.
“I’m not supposed to flirt with you. I’ve always had a hard line.
But I can’t hold back anymore.” He sighed, touching his forehead to mine again.
“I don’t know what to do, baby girl. What should we do? ”
I didn’t understand how to help, but the pain in his voice, the longing, and the sadness made me want to do whatever I could.
Was I hurting him?
“Do you want me to go away?” I offered, and my heart broke a little with each word. I wanted to solve his problem for him.
“No!” Damen pulled me to him on the floor, and I straddled him as he held my arms against his chest. He shook, as if he were afraid that I’d disappear. “No, you can’t leave. I’m sorry. I’ll stop—just don’t leave.”
“You don’t need to stop,” I muttered, knowing my face was on fire. “I don’t mind when you flirt with me, but—but I just don’t know what you expect from me. Especially since you all do it. That’s what makes me nervous.”
“You are cute. You’re beautiful, sexy, and adorable,” Damen said. “I want to see more of everything you do. Even if I spent the rest of my life figuring this out, I’d be happy.”
It was official. My heart was in danger of beating out of my chest.
Yet, it still sounded like he wanted a relationship—or at least something like it.
I had to make this clear.
Table of Contents
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- Page 26 (Reading here)
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