Page 92 of Arranged Control

“I’m happy for you.”

My eyebrows raise in surprise. “Really?”

“Seriously. Of course I’m happy. You’ve been so hyperfocused on everything but yourself for so long now, and it’s kind of nice to see you prioritizing your own happiness.”

I lean back and put a hand over my heart. “My lord, Kira. Are you getting soft?”

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” I beam at her. “Just doesn’t seem like you, that’s all.”

She sighs, rubbing her face. “I’m serious. Everything’s been the shop, the apartment, school before that. Nothing’s ever been about finding a real relationship. Even your last boyfriend was a total loser.”

“I kind of knew it at the time too.”

“Right? You couldn’t even let yourself find a decent partner.”

“It wasn’t ever my place.” I go quiet and glance at the door. The shop’s empty again, but there should be a rush coming soon. “You know my family. I was only ever half free.”

“And you always leaned into that.”

“I wouldn’t say Ileaned intoit, but?—”

“But you defined yourself by your family’s standards. The proper daughter doing all the proper things. Even when you had that boyfriend, you kept him hidden away, like it was so awful that you were dating someone.”

I rub my arms and stretch my neck, trying to loosen some of the tension. “When did this conversation turn into an attack on my life?” I grumble.

“Not an attack.” Kira holds up her hands apologetically. “Sorry if it came off that way. I’m trying to make the point that you sticking with this marriage and wanting to make it work is huge. It’s important. You should treat it like that.”

I know she’s right. And honestly, if I didn’t feel the way I feel about Seamus, I probably would’ve already gone to a lawyer and left him, if only to save more lives. But I don’t want to do that. Selfishly, I want to stay with him. I want to wake up with him in my bed. I want his hands on my body at night. I want him making coffee shirtless in the mornings, smirking and teasing asI act all grumpy and complain about how it’s too early. I want him to bend down and kiss my neck as he puts a bowl of yogurt and granola down in front of me and makes me promise I’ll eat it. I want his laughter and his snarls of passion. I want all of it.

Even if that means someone else is going to get hurt.

The thought sends a shiver down my spine. I swing between wanting Seamus and needing to make sure my actions don’t cause anyone else pain. It’s an impossible choice, and I hate every second as the countdown continues.

Our conversation gets interrupted when the door opens. I figure it’s a customer, but instead, a young man in a black hoodie and a pair of sweatpants hustles over, a cellphone in one hand and a brown box under his other arm. He squints at the screen and looks up at me.

“Alina Morozov?”

“Whelan,” I correct. When the kid frowns, I quickly add, “but Morozov is my maiden name.”

“Cool, gotcha. This package is for you.” He dumps it on the counter. “Can you sign?” He turns the phone toward me.

But I don’t move. “I wasn’t expecting anything.”

“Dunno about that. Just dropping it off, ma’am.”

I hesitate before scrawling my name on the screen. He taps a few times and nods. “Thanks. Have a good one.”

But as he leaves, three men come in after him. I recognize their leader, a bald and stocky guard named Ryan. He comes right over to the counter and slides the box away from me. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Whelan, but I think I should check this out for you.”

“What’s going on?” I stare at the three guards. Kira lingers nearby, looking concerned.

“I heard you say you weren’t expecting anything. And that courier’s a local guy. This could be something from—” Ryan glances sideways at Kira and lowers his voice. “Our Russian friend.”

“Who do you know in Russia?” Kira asks loudly and sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

I ignore her. “Do you really think it’s an issue? I’m sure it’s just something for the shop.” I narrow my eyes at him as something else occurs to me. “Also, how the hell did you hear me say that?”