Page 56 of Arranged Control

She leans into me. We stand in silence for a few seconds. No jokes, no teasing, no arguing. Just the two of us.

“I need to tell you something.” Her voice is a choked whisper. “God, I feel like such a piece of trash waiting this long. But every time I tried to bring it up, we kept having sex.”

My eyebrows raise. “What are you talking about?”

“Something happened.” She pulls away and drifts across the room. “I should’ve mentioned it right away, but I know how you’re going to react.”

“Alina.” My eyes narrow. Warning bells ring in my head. “What’s wrong?”

“Remember the other night when you found me downstairs?”

I remember it vividly. I particularly remember fucking her on the couch. “You weren’t down there because you couldn’t sleep.”

“I heard something. I don’t even know what, but it woke me up. When I went to check it out, I found a note.” She takes a folded piece of paper from her back pocket and hands it over.

I take it, saying nothing. Inside is a simple message in clear, blocky script.

Do You Want To Leave Him?

I stare at the message for a long time.Do You Want To Leave Him?It’s obviously talking about me.

And she kept this a secret.

“Who wrote it?” I ask softly, handing the note back. She hesitates before she takes it and shoves it back into her pocket.

“I don’t know. I’ve been trying to figure it out.”

“And you found it in your apartment?”

“I know how it sounds, but I don’t have any idea how it got there.”

I turn away. I feel light all of a sudden. There’ve been plenty of chances to bring this up, but now she must feel guilty or something.

Why would she keep it a secret?

But I know the answer already.

I just don’t want to admit it to myself.

Why would she want to stay married to me?

We’re opposites. I drift on the wind. She stays anchored against the storm. To her, I’m rot and chaos.

To me, she’s a pain in the ass, but she’smine.

And now she’s wondering if she wants to stay or go.

Someone’s out there willing to help her run away if that’s what she wants.

“You should keep unpacking,” I murmur, getting out of there. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I don’t want to think about it.

She lied. Or at least she kept this hidden.

For days now.

“I swear, I didn’t mean to upset you. I knew that if I brought it up, you’d think my apartment isn’t safe and I’d have to move here, but I don’t do well with change. It’s hard, okay? It’s all so hard.”

“It’s fine. I get it.” I step out into the hallway. “You don’t have to do this.”