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Kaelis and I are mostly silent on our way back to the academy.

The night weighs heavy on me. My friends’ tears, Bristara’s words, the club’s final farewells to Arina…

My mind and heart are too full with it all to come up with any words for him.

Before I know it, we’re in his foyer, where I linger before the door to my hall.

Kaelis sways, as if he wants to reach for me, but it’s also as if he’s holding himself back.

“Do you…Can I…” He abandons both thoughts with a heavy sigh and a hand running through his hair. Do you want me to stay? Can I do anything for you? he doesn’t say.

But I hear the questions loud and clear all the same and shake my head. “I’d like to be alone.” Away from you, I think he hears as clearly as I heard his unspoken questions.

“Yes. Understandable.”

Yet neither of us moves.

“Thank you, Kaelis…for helping me bury her,” I finally manage.

“Of course.”

“I’ll…see you in the morning.” I turn and disappear into my hallway, leaning against the door as his footsteps disappear. I can feel him wanting to come back, wanting to hold me, in the same way I can feel power gathering right before an Arcanist draws a card.

I want it. I want that comfort. To be held.

Loved. I want to weep into a warm chest until dawn rises.

Sob until I vomit, as if I could physically expel this grief.

Yet there’s also nothing left to expel. There’s a hole in my gut that’s all-consuming.

That threatens to suck in the rest of me until I blink out of existence.

Arina…My sister…

I whirl, open the door, and look out, half expecting to see him there. But he’s not. Three options lie before me. His room. Mine. Out.

Bristara’s words are as heavy in my heart as Arina’s bones were in my hands.

I can’t stay here.

The Stellis see me as I leave, but for once I let it be. This path is the fastest and doesn’t involve going through Kaelis’s room. Let them think what they will. Let the nobles talk about me leaving his room a wreck. I’m too tired to care.

The common area between the house dorms is completely empty. The hour is so late that even the night owls have taken to roost. But as soon as I slip into Alor’s room, I’m welcomed by a flash of silver, followed by a dramatic yawn.

“I’ve no idea how you don’t fall asleep in your classes,” Alor mutters sleepily. “You are always out and about at night.”

“Can I stay here tonight?” I blurt.

She shifts, sitting. Blinking. “What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I start for my bed—what was once my bed.

Alor catches my wrist, locking eyes with me. “Are you all right?”

“Physically, yes.”

“The prince.” Her tone takes on a murderous edge. “Did he cross a line?”

“Twenty, no.” I shake my head, clearly hearing what she’s asking. “Nothing like that. It’s something else.”

Satisfied, she releases me. “Fine, though you should be gone by the dawn, lest people see you not emerging from his wing.”

“Worried about me?” I crawl under my covers, already feeling far more at ease than I would have in his apartments. Something about Alor’s ferocity toward Kaelis in my defense has me resting easier.

“I don’t want things to go sideways for you and for me to lose my secret advantage.” She yawns and rolls over.

“Right, sure, that’s all it is.”

“I don’t like your tone.” She makes it a point not to roll back over. I manage a slight smile, despite the circumstances. She cares.

“Alor, I’ve something I need you to do for me.”

“What?” Her tone suggests she’d do anything if it meant not being kept awake for another minute longer.

“On the thirty-fifth day of Wands, last year”—the day I was captured—“a place called the Starcrossed Club was raided by Eclipse City enforcers and destroyed. I need you to find out who was behind the raid, if you can.”

“I have access to Stellis records, not city enforcers.”

“I know, but this was an illegally operated club. The crown would’ve been involved.”

She makes a noise of comprehension. “It’ll take a bit. I probably can’t do it till after the break, but I’ll do my best.”

“Thanks.” I roll over, putting my back to her. Within a minute, Alor’s breathing is slow and even.

But my eyes still aren’t tired. My mind is still moving. Guilt and worry fill the gulf of tears left behind by my sister.

What did I tell Luren? Live because she can’t? But how do I keep living when my guiding star has fallen?

The World.

The thought returns. Damn Bristara’s cautions.

The World could fix everything. Bring back Mother, bring back Arina…

and make our lives what they should have been.

Kaelis might say he has noble reasons for hunting the World.

But how can I be sure? All I know for certain is what I’d do if it were in my hands…

I’m going to have to steal it from him. There really is no other path for me now. Once, I might have been tempted to let him have his wish. But now? Sorry, Prince, the World is mine.

A week passes, then two. For a time, I live like a normal initiate of Arcana Academy. I go to my classes. I help train Alor in a forgotten room we found that now doubles as a small practice space. I spend hours poring over notes with Luren and Dristin.

Sorza goes to the sanctum…but I don’t join her. It’s possible Kaelis might be there.

Most nights, I escape his apartments and favor my own dorm room. People have noticed. Even Kaelis—if not from the rumors, then from my absence at breakfast. But he doesn’t say anything.

Let them talk becomes my refrain. The will to care has escaped me.

It feels as if a rotten, wretched substance has replaced the blood in my body.

I can still feel Arina’s bones in my arms. Her bracelet around my wrist is comforting, but it’s also as weighty as a prisoner’s shackle from Halazar.

She should’ve been here to wear it… The fact that she’s not here has created a seed of loathing in me that I’ve no idea where to plant.

Luren catches me rotating the bracelet absentmindedly around my wrist late one evening in the library. Sorza and Dristin have long since gone to bed. But she insisted on staying. It doesn’t occur to me that it might have been because of me until she asks, “What happened?”

“What?” I quickly stop the movement, tearing my attention from the lantern I’d been staring into and returning it to the book before me. As I’m blinking away the ghost of the light burned into my eyes, I realize just how long I was mentally elsewhere.

“You haven’t been yourself lately.”

“It’s nothing,” I murmur.

Luren’s hand covers mine, fingers resting right by the bracelet. “You’ve helped me so much, if I can be of help to you…”

My eyes trail up her arm to meet her gentle gaze.

Luren’s dark brown hair cascades over her shoulders, half pulled up as she does to get it out of her face whenever she’s reading books or tarot.

I shouldn’t say anything. But I’m back to the night following Kel’s death in Luren’s room… yet the roles are reversed.

“My sister died.” As soon as I say it, relief floods me, riding on a fresh tide of grief. Saying it aloud to someone is like a breath of fresh air and drowning all at once. It’s like I’m not alone, yet simultaneously still so far out of anyone’s reach.

“Oh, Clara.” Luren is out of her seat in a blur, arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders.

I brace myself for her pity. Her platitudes. All the things that one is supposed to say when they hear of another’s grief.

But Luren says nothing. She holds me firmly. As if, for a moment, she’s trying to offer me shelter against the storm.

I can’t stop the tears. They come silently but are seemingly endless. The entire time, Luren stands there, clutching me. I’m not returning the embrace; I haven’t even moved from my chair. She’s just…there.

Because she understands. Just as I understood that night months ago. Luren gives me a space to silently shed tears I hadn’t realized I’d still been keeping in.

At three and a half weeks since burying Arina, I find a letter tucked under my pillow—not in my room in Kaelis’s apartments. But in the one I share—shared? share —with Alor in the dormitories. The note simply reads:

We need to speak.

I know we should. But I still ignore him. I’m not ready yet.

But Kaelis’s patience with my avoidance finally runs out.

It’s just after inking class that I see him in a doorway down one of the halls—an open study room.

I step aside before anyone else notices and the presence of the headmaster causes more of a commotion than either of us really want.

Especially since we are, once more, everyone’s favorite rumor, now that they believe we’ve had a “lover’s quarrel.

” I never thought I’d miss the days of gossip about the Halazar escapee.

He shuts the door behind me as I slip inside. The lock clicks.

“Is that really necessary?” I eye it.

“I want a moment alone with you, and I don’t want any zealous initiates nervous about their Three of Swords Trials barging in looking for a study room.

” Kaelis folds his arms and leans against the door.

Clad head to toe in black and silver, he looks every inch the disapproving headmaster.

By his standards, today’s outfit is understated: An impeccably tailored shirt that looks more like black ink than silk.

A vest of a light gray and trousers in a darker, matching color.

Perhaps it’s the light streaming through the window, but this ensemble looks almost cheerful compared to his usual attire.

“If you wanted to ensure we’d be alone, then perhaps you shouldn’t try to meet where initiates and students frequent.”

“I would’ve, gladly, had you ever decided to return to the apartments for more than a bath and a change of clothes…before not returning at all.” When I open my mouth to speak, he continues. “Then I sent a note, and that was ignored. You’ve driven me to drastic measures.”