Page 46 of Apple of My Eye

Chapter Thirty-Six

Nick

Isaac: Yo, bro, when you coming back into town?

Julian: Kara’s having a party this weekend. Try and make it?

Me: As much as I want to meet your new girl, I don’t leave until Sunday.

Julian: Don’t be lame, change your flight! Our last party before class starts.

I stare at my phone. I type out I’m trying to find a way to say goodbye to Eloise before I go , then I delete it.

Me: I’ll try.

Technically, my capstone was supposed to be eight weeks.

But I dragged my feet booking flights, not quite ready to leave everything behind.

And before I knew it, I was staying an extra week.

The Parkers didn’t mind, of course. But my mamma sure did.

And so did Isaac. He was not happy that I missed another pickup game.

I went over to the Andersons’ again yesterday afternoon.

Hazel was home but she said Eloise and Cal were out in the fields.

She invited me in, we had a glass of iced tea.

I really like Hazel. In some ways, she reminds me of my mom.

She’s stubborn and a little intimidating, but she has such a warm heart.

‘Do you think Eloise will stay here forever?’ I found myself asking her, a little nervously, wondering if she would admonish me for being intrusive. But her face just softened.

‘I hope not,’ she said.

I must have looked as surprised as I felt because she laughed. ‘It’s not that I don’t want her to!’ she said, ‘but I don’t think she wants to. Does that make sense?’

I nodded. ‘It sure does.’

Our conversation moved on. We talked about the unseasonably cold weather and whether or not we should be caving and turning on the heat.

Hazel joked about her relief that the butcher is almost back from maternity leave.

Eventually, I stopped going through the motions just hoping Eloise would show up at the back door.

‘I’ll tell her you stopped by,’ Hazel said as she gave me a hug.

I waited all night for a text from Eloise, anything to acknowledge I had been there, but heard nothing but crickets.

I started to look at flight options to leave earlier. There was no point in staying anymore.

Me: I came over yesterday to say goodbye but you weren’t home. I leave Friday. Can we talk?

Twelve hours later .?.?.

Me: Eloise. Come on. I know you’re getting these. Can you stop ignoring me?

Eloise: I don’t want to stop ignoring you.

Me: Can’t we act like adults?

Eloise: Adults are honest with each other.

Me: Are you still mad about the bet? It didn’t even impact anything!

Eloise: No.

I stare at my phone, a sinking feeling in my stomach. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. Eloise knows about Scott’s Orchards. I start to pace the outline of my bedroom.

Me: What’s this about?

Eloise: You know.

Me: Is this about the offer the Parkers got?

Eloise: The offer you orchestrated for them? The offer that you negotiated? The offer that bails them out and screws me over? That you conveniently didn’t tell me about? That AMIE told me?

Frustration rises in my chest that Betsy told Amie who told Eloise. I should have been the one to tell her. We both know it.

Me: It’s not what it looks like. I was just doing what I could for them.

Ten minutes later .?.?.

Me: They’re nice people! They deserve it.

Eloise: And our town deserves more than another conglomerate buying up family-owned land. Our planet deserves more than another conglomerate treating soil like it’s replaceable. Our families deserve more than apples filled with insecticides!

Me: Look, I get why you’re angry.

Eloise: That’s why you didn’t tell me, isn’t it. You knew how mad I’d be. What were you trying to do? Get in another week of whatever the fuck we were doing before this before you skipped town and left this bomb behind you?

Me: No! That’s not it at all. Eloise, if you would just let me explain.

Eloise: I never want to see you again.

Eloise: I know you don’t have a great relationship with the truth but believe me when I say that I am one hundred percent serious. Don’t come near me again.

I wake up earlier than usual on my last full day.

I’m not sure if it’s because I was tossing and turning from my last message exchange with Eloise or because my body knows how much I’ll miss the farm and is determined to soak up every second.

I lay in my bed thinking about how I’ve grown accustomed to this room, the pink walls, the NSYNC posters, the way the clutter feels cozy and homey.

I walk downstairs to the smell of coffee and step onto the front porch where Joe is already reading the newspaper.

I take a deep breath of chilly fresh air, gazing out at the rolling hills that are glazed with dew.

There’s something so serene about an early morning on the farm, before the workers start arriving and congregating in the field, when the animals are still quiet, barely rustling as they wake up too, the sun just beginning to break over the hills.

Joe clears his throat. He doesn’t usually talk in the morning. ‘I’ve been meaning to say thank you,’ he says gruffly, clearly having not spoken since he woke up.

‘It’s nothing,’ I say. ‘I’ve been really happy to help.’

Joe grunts again.

‘You, darling,’ Betsy says as she steps out on the porch, ‘we’ll miss you so much!’ She walks over to squeeze my cheeks. ‘I can’t believe you’re leaving after today.’

‘I’ll miss you too, Mrs. P.’

She smiles as she sits down but it doesn’t reach her eyes. ‘It’ll be so quiet when you’re gone, won’t it, Joe?’

He grunts in affirmation.

That’s another reason why I think the Parkers should accept Scott’s Orchards’s deal. They’re lonely out here now that their girls are gone. The farm is a big place, and they don’t fill it.

I try to do my normal chores but even the pigs can tell I’m down.

Buttercup gives me extra snuggles, digging hard into my palm with her snout.

I’m surprised at my own reluctance to leave.

I’ve known this was coming. I have a life to get back to.

I miss my mom. But .?.?. I feel unsettled, like I haven’t tied up all the loose strings, like I can’t count my time on the farm as a success.

I don’t even know what success means to me anymore.

I curse Eloise for putting all these thoughts in my head.

‘Nick?’ Betsy asks me when I come in to shower for dinner. ‘Do you want to invite Eloise over for dinner? I know you two have grown close.’

My heart sinks. ‘It’s OK.’ I wave it off.

‘I’m making my roast chicken.’

‘I think she’s busy tonight,’ I lie, barely able to choke the words out of my throat. She never wants to see me again , I think.

‘OK.’ Betsy tsks before getting back to the salad she’s making.

We sit out on the porch after dinner and watch the fireflies light up the sky. Betsy asks me what I’m most looking forward to in the city and I tell her I really miss driving my own car. That gets a chuckle out of Joe, who asks why his old blue pickup isn’t good enough.

‘We’ll be fine without you,’ Betsy whispers to me when Joe goes inside to refill his drink.

‘I know,’ I tell her. I mean it.

‘Then what’s got you so down?’ she asks, her eyes wide with concern.

I open and close my mouth. It’s not my place to gossip about Eloise, especially to Betsy who notoriously can’t keep her mouth shut. ‘Is it Eloise?’ she prattles on, almost talking to herself. ‘I thought it was curious you didn’t want to invite her. Lord knows you’ve spent enough time over there.’

I pinch the bridge of my nose long enough to gain composure. ‘Yes,’ I say quietly.

‘Because you’re leaving?’ she asks.

Lying is easier than the truth, so I nod.

‘Hmmm .?.?.’

‘What?’

‘That girl wasn’t meant to stay here.’

‘Betsy,’ I say, turning to face her profile, which is illuminated in the early moonlight, ‘I don’t think anyone bothered to tell her that.’