Page 61 of Anyone But the Superstar

‘What’s with the long face?’

‘Hmm?’ I blink back into the phone screen.

‘You look sad.’ Bell’s brows knit together. ‘What’s wrong and who do I have to hurt?’

Chuckling at the 180-degree emotional turn that took her from cooing to murderous, I do something I haven’t done much of this past year. Open up. ‘I’m trying to think of how to say, “I’m sorry” to someone.’

While still frowning, the deadly intent leaves her face. ‘Want me to send them something from Moore’s?’

‘Nah.’ I stare at the Gucci sports bag that Felix left on the floor in front of the passenger’s seat. ‘This person is sort of like Chase and Thomas. They have everything they want, or if they don’t, they can easily get it themselves.’ I shake my head. ‘And as with my brothers, I feel like whatever I get them won’t be meaningful enough.’

‘Are you kidding me?’ Bell’s snort draws back my attention.

‘What?’

‘IwishI had your ability for gift giving.’

Pushing Mike’s head out of the way, I shift in closer to the middle console so we can share the screen. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘Ummmm…’ Bell widens her eyes like the point she’s about to make is obvious. ‘The Mike Hunt printed dress socks you gave Chase for his birthday last year? Or how ’bout the family calendar you made for Thomas with King Richard in different poses for each month?’

I snort, remembering Thomas’ face when Alice hung the calendar on his office wall.

‘Or the paint-by-number you made for Mary from the picture of her on her first day of school?’ Bell levels her expression. ‘Alicecried.’

My face heats remembering how emotional my other sister-in-law became when her and my brother’s adoptive daughter Mary opened the present. ‘But they didn’t cost anything, really.’ I turn up the SUV’s air conditioning. ‘They were just simple things.’

Bell looks like she wants to smack me. ‘I don’t know what’s so simple about somehow segmenting a photograph, then labeling each shape with a number that coordinates to a color, but—’ she rolls her eyes ‘—whatever.’

I fiddle with Mike’s collar.

‘And you should know, growing up like you did, that the best things to receive aren’t necessarily large or expensive. They’re meaningful.’ One of Bell’s eyebrows arches. ‘Like all the family dinners you orchestrated in the hopes of bringing your family closer together.’ A small smile plays on her lips. ‘Thomas and Chase agree that a huge part of them burying the hatchet and making amends wasyou. You arranging the dinners. You calling them, keeping tabs on them. Inviting them places –together.’

Suddenly, all my brother’s phone calls this past year don’t seem as troublesome.

Bell scoffs at whatever expression I’m making. ‘What did you do that you have to apologize for anyway?’

The past week flashes through my mind. ‘A lot of things.’

‘That’s surprising.’ Her auburn brows pinch together. ‘I mean, I know I’m biased, but honestly, Lizzie you’re one of the most thoughtful people I know.’ She blows me a kiss. ‘I love you, you know.’

‘I love you too, Bell.’ I angle my face toward the blasting air-conditioning vent to help dry my watering eyes. ‘I—oomph.’

Mike head butts me.

‘Jesus, Mikey.’ Properly scolded for daring to turn the camera away from him, I refocus my phone on the wrinkled terror.

Distracted once more by her feline baby, Bell feigns a speech impediment recounting all the various ways she loves Mike Hunt while I contemplate why, if I’m such a thoughtful person, I’ve been anything but to Felix Jones.

‘Oh, shoot. I got to go.’ Bell, voice back to normal, leans back in my brother’s desk chair. ‘I have a virtual meeting to run for the new campaign.’

‘All right—’ I give Mike a hug for her benefit, his skin sliding up over his ribcage as I do ‘—talk soon.’

It isn’t until after I hang up that Bell’s stunned expression when I mentioned we’d talk soon registers.

Maybe it isn’t just Felix I need to apologize to. I may have thought I needed this past year to ‘find myself’ after discovering the truth about my parentage, but today made me realize that all I’ve seemed to do is avoid the people who already know me. The people who care about me.

I need to plan more family dinners when I get home.