Page 16 of Anyone But the Superstar

There’s a subtle shift in everyone’s stance, as if making room for people to step forward.

‘Hi, everyone, I’m Amanda Willis.’ A woman’s voice rings out in the cavernous building like a Broadway performer.

I put the face that came up in my Google search to it.

‘I’m very much looking forward to working with everyone.’

I’m about to pocket my phone when Felix Jones speaks. ‘And I’m Felix Jones.’

While a collective female sigh echoes, my hand tightens around my phone.

It can’t be.

‘And, like Amanda, I’m very happy to be here and to begin working with you.’

Doing the same as I did for Amanda, I conjure up the picture of Felix Jones from my phone. But instead of a perfectly quaffed and tuxedoed movie star, my imagination distorts until the man has a baseball cap and an unruly beard.

No. Not possible.

Using the hand not holding my phone in a screen-cracking grip, I brace myself on the side of the full-scale International Space Station mock-up and climb onto one of the large speaker boxes the crew set up earlier for the press junket. Red tape be damned.

Carefully, I circle-shuffle in my Birkenstocks until I’m looking over the crowd.

Em’s there. The overhead lights reflect off her jeweled barrette, making her easily discernible despite her height. Next to her is Ron, a man of medium height that I recognize from a photo in my professor’s office back in New York. Amanda Willis is next and then?—

Tall Guy shifts in the crowd, blocking my view.

Fucking Tall Guy.

‘I know you might want to get autographs or ask questions,’ Ron says, the second part of his comment laced with meaning as his eyes move through the crowd, ‘but remember, this is not the time. We’re professionals here to do a job.’

Halter Top visibly deflates.

‘I’m known to run a tight ship on my film sets, but I will be even more strict on this one.’ Ron raises his arms, gesturing to our surroundings. ‘This is NASA. A federal agency.’ He nods at Em. ‘They were nice enough to allow us here to capture the real, everyday life of the men and women of NASA and I, for one, don’t want to fuck that up.’ He smiles at the last, his expression easing some of the building tension. ‘So, besides today—’ he gestures at the journalists ‘—there will be no personal cellphones, laptops, cameras or tablets allowed during filming.’ He waits for the collective groan to fade. ‘Anyone caught not adhering to this rule will be dismissed on the spot.’

A woman steps next to Ron and goes over some of the same guidelines that Em went over earlier and adds in housing details that I wish were relevant to me. I’m about to hop off the speaker when Ron speaks up again.

‘Now that that’s over, I want to thank you all – crew and otherwise – for being here today.’ Ron nods, his eyes a lot lessscary when he’s not threatening people. ‘It’s going to be a great time and an even better movie.’

Amanda raises a hand and adds her own, ‘I’m so happy and thankful you all are here.’

‘Yes, thank you.’ Felix Jones, still hidden behind Tall Guy, speaks, his voice sending a chill of recognition down my spine. ‘Or as mymamãesays,obrigado.’

I fight the sudden need to vomit masticated muffins all over NASA’s billion-dollar training equipment less than a foot away.

While I can rationalize the familiarity of his face on my phone, and even the sense of déjà vu at his voice, Ican’tignore the foreign language.

Not when it soundsexactlylike the whispered naughty talk that had my toes curling and my vagina clenching before everything in my mouth went numb.

Ignoring the threat of muffin retribution, I tap my thumbs over my phone, clicking the link for the actor’s personal bio.Of Portuguese descentglares at me from the white screen.

I suddenly have trouble breathing and swallowing. As if I’m suffering phantom numbness from my recent condom trauma.

Which makes sense as, when the crowd parts, and I finally get a look at the Oscar-nominated, two-time Golden Globe winner and People’s Choice’s most charming smile winner three years in a row, I don’t see Felix Jones, male lead actor ofCountdown.

I see a freshly shaven douche bag named Johnny.

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