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“ B ecause I still know my girl.”
Those words echoed in my head on repeat.
His girl?
How could I still be his girl?
Of course I still had feelings for him. You never got over your first love, did you?
After a long, well-needed shower, I wrapped a towel around my body, barely able to get Beckett and the words he said out of my damn head.
I was mentally exhausted. I never thought this would happen. I was doing just fine in the bubble I had made for myself, shutting myself off to any man that could make me feel unwanted again. But the second he knocked on my door, that bubble popped, and I scrambled to fix it back up.
I was about to call my parents, who were still loving the cruise they were on, when I heard a knock at the door.
Who the hell knocked at this time?
I rushed down to the door, pulling it open and obviously forgetting I was still in a towel that barely covered my body. How didn’t I notice? The cold air caused my nipples to harden beneath the terrycloth.
“Beckett,” I gasped, unsure of what to do.
“Is that how you answer the door at this time of night?” he asked, stepping into the house and pushing the door closed behind him.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered, losing my voice because, hell, I was in a towel .
My mouth went dry as I breathed him in. His sweatpants sat low on his hips, casual but undeniably tempting. He wore nothing but a T-shirt with them, completely unfazed by the cold, the muscles beneath catching my attention. His hair fell messily over his forehead, and as his eyes met mine, they darkened, a quiet intensity flickering between us.
“I left something in your car.” He stepped closer as I stepped back. At any moment, I’d hit the wall behind me.
“Well, my car is out there, not in here.”
“I know that.” His voice was low, the huskiness that I used to love still there, only deeper now. “You’re lucky it was me at the door.”
“I wouldn’t consider it lucky.” I gave him a nervous smile and swallowed hard.
He lifted a hand and teased my damp hair between his fingers, and as if on cue, I collided softly with the wall, his body now right in front of mine.
He leaned into me, dipping down so his lips could rest against my neck as he inhaled my scent. “Nothing’s changed, has it?” He pressed a soft kiss to my neck, causing my breath to hitch in my throat at the familiar, yet unfamiliar, sensation. “You still smell incredible. Just as you did all those years ago. Exactly like an iced cookie.”
He gently swept my hair over my shoulder, exposing my neck even more as his fingers traced along my skin. They moved down my arm until they reached the edge of my towel at my upper thigh. My knees weakened beneath his touch.
“You really need to go, Beck,” I breathlessly said.
“You expect me to go when you say my name like that?” He cupped my arse under the towel, and all the oxygen left my body.
“Please…” I just about managed to say.
“Why do you want me to go? Is it because I still affect you the same way you affect me?”
I stayed silent. I had no words because he was right… He was so damn right.
“You remember us, don’t you? How we were and just how good we can still be.” And just like that, his words brought me back to the present.
“I never forgot,” I whispered, brushing his hands off of me. “You did.”
“Em, we’ve been over this.”
“My keys are on the hook. Post them through the door when you’re done getting what you left in my car.” I escaped the hold he had on me before making my way towards the stairs.
“Em.”
“You might have been told I moved on, but imagine being told you were no longer wanted, or even worse, that you wanted nothing to do with us.” I sighed. “I loved you, Beckett. More than anything, but that’s gone now.” I didn’t turn around to face him. I couldn’t, because if I did, he’d have known I was lying. “Just enjoy the time you have with your son, especially since you’ll soon be on your way again.”
I didn’t wait for his reply.
I left.
The day Liam was born…
The pain ripped through me as I was close to giving birth to our son. Well, just mine now.
“Come on, just a few more pushes,” the midwife encouraged while the other held my hand.
“I-I c-can’t.” I sobbed, the pain and loneliness becoming too much all at once.
“Yes, you can! I know you can!” It was the motivation I needed, but it wasn’t coming from the person I wanted to say it.
After two more hard pushes, I delivered my little baby boy, Liam, into the world.
“Congratulations, Mummy,” the midwife cooed as she placed Liam on my chest.
I couldn’t hold in the tears as I let them fall onto my bare skin. There was nothing anyone could say or do to comfort me. Knowing I had to do this alone suddenly set in, which was when I finally realised that he wasn’t coming back. We truly did mean nothing to him.
“Do you have a phone?” I asked the midwives.
“Of course, dear, do you need to call someone?” she asked, handing me her mobile.
“Yes, please, if I can?” I wiped my tears as I dialled Beckett’s number.
“I’ll give you a moment.” She smiled, leaving and closing the door behind her.
I listened to the dial tone, hoping with all I had for him to answer, if only just this once. But as I expected, I got nothing but the voice I adored on voicemail. I hung up and let the tears fall again.
“I guess it’s just you and me, little man.” I wept. “I-I think w-we’ll be just fine.” I gazed at my baby boy, and despite just being born, he looked exactly like Beck.
Liam let out a little whimper, one that reassured me that we’d be okay as long as we had one another.
Hours passed and my family arrived. My parents cuddled with Liam while Harry spent his time with me, checking how I was and not asking the questions I knew he wanted to ask.
“Did you bring my charger?”.
“I already plugged it in for you.” He kissed the top of my head. “You’ll always have me, so will Liam.”
“I know, thank you.”
“Right. Mum and Dad, I think we should let Em get some rest. We’ll pick her up tomorrow.”
“You’re right. Sorry, my love. We got swept up with this little one.” My mum cooed as she handed Liam back to me. “He’s absolutely beautiful, Emily. Just like his mummy.” I knew she saw Beckett in him, they all did, but none of them said a word.
I reached for my phone and scrolled through my socials. After landing on a video of Beckett, I really wished I hadn’t bothered scrolling at all in the first place. There he was, beaming with pride, and he was happy. While I laid in a hospital bed, he had won player of the match.
The boy I knew was long gone, and in his place, was someone he’d always dreamt of being. He was a rising star in the football world. Why would he trade that for changing dirty nappies and doing the feeds at ridiculous hours of the night?
“Like I said, just you and me.” I kissed Liam’s forehead, that new baby scent filling my senses as I did. “You’re my person now. The only one I need.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18 (Reading here)
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37