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I hated every single minute of being around Beckett. Not because I hated him, but because I still had undeniable feelings for him. My body still reacted to his touch, no matter how small. My heart raced the minute I saw him, and I was brought straight back to being that teen in love with the school’s football star.

I had to make it clear that Liam was what he needed to focus on. Not me. We had our time, and now it was theirs.

I’d always love Beckett Ashmore, but some things were meant to stay in the past.

As I made my way towards the stairs in the hallway, my phone vibrated on the sideboard. Reaching for it, I saw his name flash on the screen.

I’m thinking of taking Liam to a match in London next Sunday, would he like that and would you be okay with that?

He’d love that. He does have school on Monday, will you be late home?

It’s an early kickoff, so we’ll be back at a decent time. He’ll get to meet the players too.

He’ll love it.

Em…

I watched the three dots dance on the screen as I waited with anticipation for well over a minute. What was he going to say?

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

It took every ounce of strength I had not to ask what he was originally typing, but I knew if I did, I’d open a pathway to something that should remain closed.

One week later…

Beckett had spent more time with Liam, but I kept myself busy, staying out of the way until the day arrived for Beckett to have his cast removed, the day we said we’d all go out together afterwards.

“So, are we picking Liam up from Harry’s after I’ve had this cast off?” He asked.

“Yes, and then we’ll take him to that new mini golf course. That’s if you still want to go?” I didn’t know if I sounded too hopeful, but I tried not to.

“Of course I still want to go. I’ve been looking forward to spending time with both of you.”

“With Liam, you mean?”

“No, with you both.” Beckett smiled as his attention was pulled away from me, the nurse calling him from her place by the door that led back to the exam rooms.

“Beckett Ashmore?”

“Are you okay to go in alone?” I asked, helping him up from the sofa in the waiting area.

“Actually, would you mind coming in with me?”

“No, not at all.”

I followed Beckett into the room where the doctor was waiting for him. He seemed a little nervous to have his cast removed, but at the same time, I knew he was excited to get back on the pitch. He always came to life when he played. I used to watch him in awe with how at ease he was, how spectacularly he commanded the game.

“Mr. Ashmore, are we ready to have this removed?” The doctor asked while glazing over his notes.

He sighed. “More than ready. Not as ready for the long road back to fitness, though.”

“You’ll be back on the pitch in no time, especially with the team of physios your team has lined up.” He clapped his hands together. “Please, be assured the removal is completely painless. However, if you wish to wear headphones to block out the noise, feel free.”

“How will he feel after?” I asked, unsure if he’d mind me asking.

“Great question. He might experience a little discomfort and stiffness. It’s normal for the area to be much weaker than before, but in time, it’ll be as though this never happened.” The doctor smiled, giving me his attention.

“Thank you.” Beckett half smiled as he relaxed back a little.

“Do you have a chair I can sit on please?” I asked.

He nodded, putting down his notes. “Certainly. I’ll go and get one for you.”

“No need, Doctor. She can sit here.” Beckett moved over slightly, pulling me down onto the bed beside him. He gave me a boyish grin as the doctor chuckled.

“Are you ready?” the doctor questioned as I scooted off Beckett’s lap.

“Yeah.” He looked up at me from where he sat on the bed as he spoke.

“You okay?” I mouthed as the saw buzzed into life.

He nodded, watching as the saw began to split open the cast. I sensed how tense he was, and without thinking, I circled my fingers softly over the back of his neck, his skin pebbling under my touch. I knew how much he used to love it, and it was the only thing in that moment I knew would relax him. I took his hand in my free one. He squeezed it gently, and it hit me right there and then—was it more for him or me?

His head leaned into my touch. Beckett’s attention was centred on me while I watched the doctor to ensure he caused no harm to Beckett.

Should I have cared?

No, of course not.

Did I?

Yes, absolutely.

Why?

I didn’t want to answer that.

As I was lost in my own thoughts, the saw shut off. After a few more minutes, Beckett was cast-free.

“How does that feel?” the doctor asked, putting the saw down.

“Weird as fuck,” Beckett blurted out, causing the doctor to belt out a real belly laugh.

“Well, your incision seems to be healing as expected. You’ll have a scar there, though.”

“I figured that. It wasn’t exactly a clean break.” Beckett had yet to let go of my hand as he talked with the doctor.

“I just need to fill in some paperwork to send over to your doctor in Spain. You can get your leg washed up while I’m gone, the supplies you need are on the side over there.” He nodded with a smile before heading out the door.

“I’ll leave you to get washed up and changed.” Hearing the doctor mention Spain sobered my feelings, leaving me with that undeniable ache that Beckett would soon be leaving. I tried to remove my hand, wanting to eliminate myself from the inevitable situation, but Beckett wasn’t allowing that to happen as he carefully swung his legs over the bed.

When he pulled me between them, I let out a small gasp—soft, involuntary—as the heat of his body met mine. His hands were firm but gentle, my skin prickling at the contact, the closeness stirring something deep and electric.

It was that sensation I knew all too well—the rush of breathless anticipation, the way my heart stuttered as his warmth surrounded me. It was comfort and danger wrapped in the same breath—an ache I hadn’t let myself feel in a long time.

His hands found my waist and brought me in as close as possible. Our eyes were level with one another's. With my lips inches from his, I had never felt so safe and wanted at the same time, but I knew deep down that he was leaving. Whatever this was would just be something to pass the time until he was gone.

“Beck.”

“Fuck, I haven’t heard you call me that for so long.” He exhaled the warmth of his breath mingling with my own.

“Because we aren’t what we once were, you know that and so do I.”

“No, we’re better than what we were.” He held me tighter, and I couldn’t pull away even if I wanted to.