Page 7

Chapter 7

Fading Heartbeats

Spade

**** Please do NOT read, and skip right to chapter 8 if you have any triggers that have to do with children.*** Please see the author's content warning list before reading this chapter!!!! Your mental health matters to me, and this chapter is VERY HEAVY AND TRAUMATIC.

Rushing into the ER, I’m not sure what to expect. I told Ryder to stay home with Jaxon, despite his protests, but we can’t bring him here, not when we don’t know what the hell we are walking into. Getting to the nurses' station, the old lady manning it looks up at me.

“Can I help you, son?” she asks, and I nod.

“Jade Rivers, I’m her husband. She was brought in here by ambulance,” I blurt out, and she starts typing into the computer.

“ICU, down the hall,” she says and I nod, tapping the counter as I book it down the hall, making a left into the double doors of where I need to be. Time literally stops when I see Jade, unconscious and covered in blood, as they cart her past me. I blink as my heart is in my throat. Catching up to the doctors and nurses moving her swiftly through the halls, I grab her hand. The doctor looks at me.

“I’m her husband. What happened?” I ask.

“She’s suffered multiple stab wounds to the groin. How far along is she?” the doc asks as my heart drops even further in my chest. The babies. Fuck.

“Thirty-five weeks, I believe.” I say, swallowing the lump in my throat as we continue to move to the OB section of the hospital and right into a room. They check her vitals and strip her clothes from her body.

“The babies. Are the babies okay?” I ask, concern laced in my tone.

“We have to stop the bleeding and find the heartbeats. That’s what the nurses are hooking her up to–” he says, stopping mid sentence as Jade’s body starts convulsing. Chaos ensues around me as more people flood the room, moving all around us.

“Sir, we need to get the babies out now. Your wife lost too much blood. If we don’t get them out now, they will all die,” he says, and I nod.

“Do what you have to do, Doc. Just please save them,” I say, and he nods.

“I’m going to need you to step out for a moment and suit up. The nurse will give you a white zippered jumpsuit along with shoe and hair coverings. Please put them on as fast as possible and meet us in the last room on the right,” he orders as a nurse hands me the white jumpsuit. I stand in the hall and put everything on. Everything is happening too fast. I can’t even call Jay to tell him what is happening. He’s going to raise hell in this place. Fuck.

Racing down the hall to the last room on the right, I enter as they prep her for emergency surgery. A nurse navigates me to a seat next to Jade as they pull a screen up in the air below her chest. I’m not sure what the hell they are doing beyond it, but I'm fucking scared. Scared for the babies and scared for the woman I love the most in this fucked up world. The monitors beep slowly around me as the doctor and nurses speak in low tones. It’s making me nervous that no one is saying jack shit, but I hold on to Jade’s hand as I watch her monitors; watching the lines go up and down, up and down.

“You got this, Babygirl. Just rest. Deliver our babies, and by the time you wake up, we will be parents. I love you, wife. You’re doing so fucking good, baby,” I whisper, squeezing her hand. The monitor above her starts blaring, and my heart flips in my chest as I watch one go flat as the other blinks erratically, and Jade slows.

“What the fuck is happening?” I shout, standing from my seat, not letting go of her hand. I’ll never let go. Not now, not ever.

“Sir. She’s hemorrhaging. You have a decision to make: it's her or the babies. One of them has the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around her neck. We need to know what you want us to do,” The doctor states, and my whole world comes crashing down on me. How the fuck do I choose between the mother of our children and our babies? I can’t, I can’t fucking make that decision. I can’t lose any of them.

“Save them all!” I spit, losing my fucking patience.

“I’m sorry, we can’t. It’s the babies or her. Time is running out,” he says. My head spins. How do I make the right decision? How? Then suddenly, the monitor falls flat and Jade’s head lulls to the side.

“No! No! No! Come on baby, you’re stronger than this,” I say, kissing her cheeks.

“Sir,” the doctor says, but I ignore him.

“Please, baby. Fucking fight. Please come back to me. Please,” I whisper, kissing her dry lips as tears fall down my cheeks.

“Doc, I can’t make that call. Save them,” I say, and he nods, disappearing behind the screen as they take the paddles and press them to Jade’s chest, speaking around me but I don’t listen. I just keep whispering to my wife. That’s all I can fucking do.

“I love you, baby. You’re so strong. I can’t wait for you to hold our babies. I just need your beautiful heart to pump for me. Please. Dario would want you to live. Don’t give in. Please stay with me. With us.” I cry, rubbing my hands over her head as I hear a faint infant cry in the distance and I take a deep breath.

“Come on, baby. Please, please, please. One baby is here. Let’s get the other one out, then I need you to fight. Fucking fight, Jade.” I growl as they press the paddles to her one more time and the monitors finally respond. Beep. Beep. Beep.

“That’s my girl. Keep fighting, baby. You got this,” I whisper, kissing her cheek.

“I’m so fucking proud of you,” I praise.

“Sir,” The doc calls to me and I look up.

“I’m sorry, but the other baby is gone,” he says, and I hang my head, resting it against Jade’s.

“I failed us. This is all my fault. I’m so sorry, baby. Fuck,” I whisper as tears pour down my face.

“Time of death for Infant Rivers, 7:15 p.m.,” the doc calls out, wrapping the baby in a pink blanket.

“Can you cut the cords, please?” he asks, and I nod, walking over to the warming station as he hands me the scissors. I cut the cords, and he places both babies in my arms. Looking down at them, I sob. I sob for the daughter I lost, the daughter who’s healthy and alive, and for my wife who’s still struggling on the surgery table. I kiss both of their foreheads.

“Haven, we love you, and I hope your daddy came down to take you back with him to heaven. Rest peacefully, our beautiful girl,” I whisper, placing a gentle kiss on her tiny cheek. “Hazel. Welcome to the world, beautiful girl. We love you,” I whisper, placing a kiss on her head full of black hair. She opens her eyes, and I sob harder, wishing Dario was here to see this. She has his eyes; his beautiful bi-colored eyes. She smiles up at me, and my heart literally melts for her. I place my finger in her small hand, rubbing my thumb along her tiny fingers.

“Perfect. You’re both perfect,” I whisper as the nurse comes over, taking both of the girls.

“It’s time for their first bath, and I need to get their weight and height. Go back over to your wife. She will be stitched up in no time,” she says with a small frown.

I hang my head once again and walk over to sit back down, laying my head against Jade’s

“I love you, and I’m so fucking sorry,” I whisper.

Leaving here without Haven is going to be one of the hardest things we will ever have to do, and I’m not sure if we will ever be able to come back from this.