Page 7 of An Impulsive Kiss (Captivating Kisses #2)

J udson had never been reckless his entire life. He was methodical. Prudent. He never behaved in an uncivilized fashion.

But this was madness.

Yet even as his lips brushed against Lucy Alington’s, deep inside he knew it was something he had wanted. He didn’t understand why he was attracted to the chit. Yes, she was pretty. Even more than pretty. But that didn’t explain why he did what he did now.

He supposed part of the attraction could be chalked up to hearing her determination in the carriage. When she had said that her mother would select the gown to be worn on the opening night of the Season, pity for this young woman had filled him. She had turned it around, though, her resolve breaking through. Judson supposed he admired that bit of bravery coming from her. That tiny slice of rebellion.

Because he, too, had felt it his entire life.

Of course, anytime he had acted upon it, Uncle Jeremiah had slapped him down like he was an annoying gnat. The older man’s sheer physical size had overwhelmed his ten-year-old self. But as Judson grew in size, his rare remarks of independence became more frequent. Finally, a time had come when Uncle Jeremiah had slapped him—and Judson punched him back.

Never again had the older man laid a hand upon him.

He focused on the kiss now. He didn’t want to frighten her. It was obvious that Lady Lucy had never been kissed. Because of that, he wanted it to be a pleasant memory for her. A sweet, inoffensive kiss. Not one of passion or possession. More to expose her to the beginnings of what a kiss could be.

His hand slid up her back, capturing her nape. Her skin was like fine silk, and his thumb stroked her neck, causing her to shiver. He continued giving her soft, easy kisses, ending one and beginning another. Her lips were pillowy soft, and Judson longed to lick them. To taste her. But that would be going too far.

Finally, he ended with a final kiss, breaking it, his mouth hovering just above hers. She let out a small sigh. He released his hold on her. For a minute, her eyes remained closed, a dreamy expression on her face. Then she opened them.

“Thank you,” she said simply. “That was my first kiss.”

“A kiss can be many things, Lady Lucy. This was an introduction to kissing. I will not be kissing you again.”

Her face fell, but she threw back her shoulders, her gaze meeting his. “Why not?”

He smiled ruefully. “Because you need a good man to claim you. One who can be the husband you long for.” He paused a moment. “My soul is too dark to corrupt that of an innocent.”

Frowning, she asked, “Then why kiss me?”

“I think going into your debut, you will need to be thoughtful as you seek your husband. If you liked our kiss, look for a man who will treat you kindly. Who will make you the center of his world. Do not allow a rogue to turn your head. They are worthless—and dangerous. And I warn you again, so please take heed.

“Never be alone with another man—else you may be forced to wed that man.”

She sniffed. “I would not force him into marriage, my lord, nor would I be forced into it myself.”

Her response told her just how innocent she was. “You say that now, but would you be willing to enter a ballroom and have all conversation cease as everyone present looked at you as if you were no better than dirt? Or worse, you might even suffer the cut direct. Any friends you made would desert you. You would never find a good man who would be willing to court you, much less wed you.”

Her lips began to tremble, and her body followed suit. Judson wanted to hold her so badly his teeth ached, but she must understand the gravity of the situation.

“You would be a pariah, Lady Lucy. Worse, your family would also suffer. Lord Dyer would not be able to find a decent woman to wed because no family would allow their daughter to marry into yours. And I believe I heard mention of a younger sister. Her hopes, too, would be dashed.”

“Dru says she does not wish to wed,” she said stubbornly.

“But would you risk your reputation? Your brother’s and Dru’s? Even your parents?” He shook his head sadly. “I am giving you good advice, Lady Lucy. Never be caught alone with a man, or you will be ruined. Especially if he chooses not to have his hand forced and wed you.”

“What about that gentleman’s reputation? What would he suffer?”

Judson sighed. “The world of Polite Society is not a fair place. I am afraid he would be forgiven—but you never would.”

Tears welled in her eyes. He took her hands and brought them to his lips, kissing her fingers tenderly.

“I am trying to help you. You seem remarkably sweet and innocent. I would not see you hurt. Now, come along. We should join the others.”

Offering his arm to her, she slipped her hand through the crook of it. He led them along the corridor and down the stairs to the assembly room which Miss Darnell had shown them earlier in their tour. Sweets were being distributed, and the two of them joined in, helping hand these out, along with cups of milk.

Judson made certain he stayed on the other side of the room from Lady Lucy. He felt as if he were Eve and had tossed God’s warning aside, eating the apple because of the snake’s tempting words. Lady Lucy had been a most tempting morsel, but she deserved far better than a damaged soul such as himself. She needed a husband who would always be there for her and their children.

His gut told him he could never be that man.

Perhaps it was time to wed. Get it over with. Have a few children and guarantee the title would be passed on to another Jarvis. He decided he would find a marchioness this Season.

Because if he had a wife, he wouldn’t be tempted to try and make Lucy Alington his.

Lord Aldridge came up to him. “What do you think of our orphanage, Huntsberry?”

“It is nothing like what I expected. I have heard orphanages are places of no hope, but the children here seem joyful. They adore you and Lady Aldridge.”

“My marchioness inspires that in everyone she meets,” the marquess replied, glancing across the room and smiling softly as he spied his wife.

Judson tamped down the desire to have what this man had. A woman and child he loved. It was simply not in the cards for someone with his past.

“Lady Aldridge neglected to tell me of her next project,” he said, drawing Aldridge’s attention back to him again.

“Shall we go to Gunter’s when we leave here?” Aldridge asked. “Ariadne has wanted to take Lucy. They went to the teashop when they were girls. The ten cousins from three families all met one another in London for a week when the children were young. Gunter’s was a favorite memory for them. We could stop for ices, and my wife could share about her ambitious project.”

He wanted to say yes, but that meant being around Lady Lucy, and that didn’t seem like a very good idea. Still, if he didn’t discuss the matter with the Aldridges today, the Season would begin. The couple would most likely have little time to meet with him. From what he gathered, they usually spent two days a week at the orphanage and would be busy with social activities.

“Yes, I will come for a little while. I have another engagement I cannot miss, however.”

“Then we will make it a quick visit,” the marquess said. “Let me round up everyone.”

Miss Darnell came toward Judson. “Thank you for visiting Oakbrooke Orphanage, Lord Huntsberry. Might I answer any questions you have?”

“No, Miss Darnell. I will be sending you a very large donation, though.”

“That is generous of you, my lord.”

“You and your staff are accomplishing good things here. Lord and Lady Aldridge are right. Those of us who have been blessed with wealth should give back to those in need.”

“Well said, my lord,” the headmistress said. “Please feel free to drop by anytime. Perhaps you might even read to the children when you visit us.”

He doubted he would ever set foot in this building again, but he smiled. “It is always a possibility, Miss Darnell.”

Lord Dyer approached him. “I hear we are going to Gunter’s.”

“Yes. I wish to hear more about Lady Aldridge’s next undertaking,” he replied.

Their party left the school, making their way to the carriage. This time, Lady Lucy sat next to her cousin. Though they sat across from one another, she never looked at him once. Instead, she glanced out the window at the passing traffic. Judson knew he had hurt her, but he had wanted to make her aware of the possibilities that could happen to young, unsuspecting ladies.

And selfishly, he also had wanted to kiss her.

He still wanted to kiss her. Not a light, friendly kiss as they had shared, but a true kiss. It would never come to pass, however. Judson understood he was a moth to her flame, and he was determined to stay away from her and not burn.

Inside Gunter’s, they were greeted by name and seated at a prime table. He couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to patronize places such as this and engage in friendly conversation with others. That would defeat the purpose of why he was in town, however.

Instead, he decided to focus all his attention on the Season. Attend a few events. Find a woman whom he could accept enough to share his name and bed for as long as it took to get her with child. He would hope for a son and heir that first time, but he would also need a spare. His thoughts turned to little Penelope. How delicate and beautiful a babe she was. Perhaps even having a girl or two to spoil might not be too terrible. And it would most likely please his wife to have a daughter.

They ordered their ices, and he noticed Lady Lucy ate hers thoughtfully. He watched her put the spoon in her mouth, savoring each bite, and wished his tongue was what she tasted.

Get a grip, Judson, he silently ordered, turning his attention to Lady Aldridge.

“Tell me about how you would clothe the poor of London, my lady.”

As he listened, he decided Lady Aldridge was not only beautiful, but she was also highly intelligent—and very organized.

When she had finished providing him with the details, he said, “I also will be donating to this effort, my lady. You have convinced me that assisting the poor is something important to do for those of us who are more fortunate.”

“It is wonderful that you are so accommodating, Lord Huntsberry,” Lady Lucy said, placing her spoon into the empty dish.

Her tone was neutral, but somehow, he read disappointment in it. Judson determined not to let her affect him.

“Regretfully, I must leave you now,” he said. “I have an appointment with my solicitor. Please, stay,” he said, rising. “I will take a hansom cab.”

“Will we see you at the opening ball?” Lady Aldridge asked.

“Yes. I plan to attend,” he confirmed.

But he would not be asking Lady Lucy to dance. It had been foolish to kiss her. He refused to lead her on further, having their names coupled together because of a single dance. Also, he did not want to give Lady Marley any ideas that he was interested in her daughter.

“Perhaps we might take supper together then,” Lord Aldridge suggested.

Ignoring the marquess’ comment, Judson merely told his companions, “Good day.”

He left Gunter’s and began walking, not caring where he went, only knowing he needed to get far away from the group.

And Lady Lucy.