Page 14 of An Impulsive Kiss (Captivating Kisses #2)

L ucy awoke, thinking it was the last time she would do so as an unmarried lady. She lay in bed, thinking how radically her life would change in the next few hours.

She had yet to write her sister this Season. Dru had told her that she knew Lucy would be busy and that writing would be unnecessary unless she did become betrothed. Of course, Lucy had thought her wedding would happen either at the end of the Season or in Somerset itself this coming autumn, and she had anticipated Dru would be present to witness the ceremony. With the speed of the wedding, however, her sister would be left out of the festivities.

She didn’t even know what to write. At this point, all she could tell Dru was that her groom was incredibly handsome. That he kissed remarkably well. And that she knew very little about him beyond that. Lucy was still uncomfortable with the fact that Lord Huntsberry never even visited his country estate.

Would they lead separate lives, as so many wedded couples in the ton did?

The answer to that question made her fearful.

Instead, she wrote a brief letter to her cousins, informing Lia and Tia of her upcoming nuptials and pointing out the coincidence that Ariadne and Julian’s country estate in Surrey abutted that of her new husband’s. She omitted the fact that the marquess never went there. Knowing the twins had spent last Christmas with Ariadne and Julian, there was a possibility they might do so again and expect to see a lot of Lucy and Lord Huntsberry.

No, Judson. She needed to honor his request and start thinking about him that way. The name fit him well. It was strong. Commanding. She would say proud, as well, but she knew so little about the man she would wed today that she could not even say that about him.

She rang for Annie, and the maid appeared.

“We’ll get you ready in a simple gown, my lady,” the servant said cheerfully. “After all, your wedding gown has been sent over to Lady Aldridge’s. I think that’s right smart for you to get ready there since that’s where the wedding will be. I’ll wait and dress your hair there, too. No sense in mussing it when you change gowns for the ceremony.”

After Lucy was dressed, she gave the letter to Annie to post.

“I’ll see it gets taken care of right away, my lady. I’ll be back soon with some breakfast for you. Just a little something to tide you over until after the ceremony.”

Lucy paced her bedchamber, her nerves increasing as she did so. Relief filled her when Annie returned with tea and toast. A good cup of hot tea would settle her down.

But would it change the misgivings that continued to plague her?

She accompanied Annie downstairs, where Julian’s carriage conveyed them to the Aldridge townhouse. Once Annie finished helping Lucy prepare, the maid would return and finish packing Lucy’s things, seeing them brought to Judson’s townhouse this morning.

After she bathed, Annie dressed Lucy with care, finishing with an elaborate hairstyle which complimented the simplicity and elegance of her wedding gown. At the last moment, she had rebelled against the dress Mama had wished for Lucy to wear and sent this one to her cousin’s. She had decided it was her special day, and she should wear the gown of her choice. While Mama would no doubt be upset, she would never interrupt the ceremony and demand that her daughter change. After it ended, Lucy would be a married woman, and Mama would never be able to tell her again what to do or say. That would certainly be an advantage to being married.

Lucy hugged her maid. “Thank you so much, Annie. Not only for preparing me for my wedding today but also accompanying me to a new household. It must be hard for you to leave your friends behind.”

“I couldn’t let you go off by yourself, my lady. I’ll always take care of you. You can count on me.”

She cherished those words. She might be going to a strange house, but Lucy would always have Annie by her side, and that was a great comfort.

A light tap sounded at the door, and Ariadne entered. Her cousin’s slow smile spread across her face, assuring Lucy that she looked her best.

Coming toward her, Ariadne said, “My, Lucy. You make for a most beautiful bride. I would embrace you, but I do not wish to muss you in any way. Come, let us have a seat and talk a bit.”

Annie left the room, and they took the two chairs by the window. Lucy had mixed emotions about the topic they were going to discuss. Her cousin had come for tea yesterday, which was only to be the two of them. Instead, Mama had come in and taken over the conversation, and Ariadne had not had time to share with Lucy about what marriage consisted of.

“Although I do not know Aunt Charlotte well, I doubt she has prepared you for your wedding night,” Ariadne began. “Is this true?”

“As I mentioned before, Mama is all about appearance. I have two lovely new night rails to wear. Beyond that, Mama simply said I was to do everything Lord Huntsberry asks of me.”

Her cousin was silent a moment and then said, “I know you have kissed Judson because that is what led to you being here today. Did you enjoy his kiss?”

Lucy answered honestly. “Very much so. He is the only man I have kissed, and I must say, he is most skilled at it. His kisses made my heart flutter wildly in my chest.” She hesitated and then added, “I want more of them.”

Ariadne nodded. “That is a very good start. Passion in a marriage will strengthen your bonds.”

Over the next several minutes, her cousin explained several eye-opening things. Lucy drank them all in, having had no idea about relations between a husband and wife. She had not known she would remove all her clothing to make love and worried what Judson would think of her body. She was still trying to understand the mechanics of everything, but Ariadne assured her instinct would take over.

“Judson will know you come to him as a virgin, and he will be tender toward you. I believe he will take very good care of you, Lucy. Not just tonight—but in all the nights to come.”

“Do I... go to him? Or does he come to me? How often do we couple?”

“That is something which the two of you will have to decide. Julian and I are different from most couples within the ton . They keep to their own rooms. I only use mine as a dressing room because I spend all my nights in my husband’s bed.”

Hearing that shocked Lucy to her core. She could not imagine her parents ever spending a night together. In fact, it surprised her that they had come together enough to produce their three children.

“If you have any questions in the future, feel free to talk about them with me. Or better yet, talk over any concerns or questions you have with Judson.”

She was still getting used to the idea of the two of them shedding their clothes and being together in an intimate fashion for lovemaking. Lucy felt the blood rush to her cheeks in embarrassment, thinking how awkward it would be to ask Judson any question. After all, Ariadne and Julian were a love match. She and her intended were the exact opposite.

Perhaps not total opposites. She did know a little bit about him, whereas many girls who become betrothed knew little to nothing of their husbands-to-be. Arranged marriages were still common amongst the members of Polite Society. At least her parents had not promised her to a stranger. She believed Judson would always be honest with her, which was very important to her. Now, she wondered if he would also be faithful to her. It had not occurred to her to ask if he had a mistress, much less if he would keep a mistress after his marriage. Lucy could not fathom bringing up such a topic with him, wed or not.

She felt a rising panic beginning to grow within her. Her heart started beating madly. Her head swam. Suddenly, she realized she was making a terrible mistake.

“I do not think I can go through with this!” she cried, leaping to her feet.

Ariadne rose and put her arms about Lucy. “You do not need to be nervous. I believe Judson is a good man, and he will take care of you.”

“This is wrong,” she said, shaking her head. “All wrong. I must speak to him. Now. I cannot wed him.”

Her cousin studied her a moment. “All right. I will send him to you.”

Once alone, Lucy began pacing the bedchamber, her breathing erratic. Mama would think it the height of impropriety, Lucy being alone with Judson in a bedchamber before they spoke their vows. She did not care.

She could not go through with this marriage.

A knock sounded at the door. Lucy rushed over and opened it.

Judson stood before her, his expression grim. He had never looked more handsome than he did now, and Lucy knew what she would say would upset him.

“Come in,” she told him, stepping aside so he could enter. Once he did so, she closed the door, not wanting anyone to overhear their conversation.

Facing him, she found her mouth dry and was unable to speak. He took her hands in his, and she realized how cold hers were.

“You are having doubts, Lucy?”

She nodded mutely.

“I think it is only natural that we both have some.”

“You also have doubts about our union?” she asked.

He said, “Yes. I fear I am ruining your life. Forcing you into a marriage you do not want. But what choice do we have?”

“We can call it off. I know you warned me of how it would damage my reputation and that of my family, but I do not want to hurt you. You told me from the start that you had no interest in me. Now, you are being leg-shackled to me for a lifetime. I simply cannot do that to you, Judson. I won’t.”

He released her hands, framing her face with his hands, and looked at her almost lovingly.

“Lucy, the reason I did not pursue you was because I wanted to.”

Frowning, she told him, “Your words confuse me. Explain yourself, Judson.”

Slowly, his thumbs caressed her cheeks, making her dizzy.

“I have always been drawn to you, Lucy. I was attracted to you from the start. But I told you there is a darkness in my soul, and I did not want to dim your bright light.”

“You truly like me?” she asked, tears misting her eyes.

Judson smiled. “Quite a bit. I knew you would have a bevy of suitors wooing you. I wanted better for you, Lucy. I am only sorry you are stuck with me and not happy being with one of them.”

His words changed everything. He did like her. He was attracted to her. Perhaps he even had feelings for her, which he had yet to admit. She still did not know what created this darkness in him which he spoke of, but she was determined now to wed this man—and make him happy. He seemed so lonely. So hungry for affection.

“I will wed you, Judson. I will be a good wife to you.”

“I know you will, little love.”

Hearing the endearment caused a warmth to fill her, that warmth pushing aside any doubts she had about this man.

“You should return downstairs,” she suggested. “I will come when I am summoned.”

He bent and lightly brushed his lips against hers. The gesture held no passion, but it did reassure her.

“I will see you shortly,” he told her, exiting the bedchamber.

Calm now, Lucy also became determined to fight Judson’s demons alongside him. Ariadne was right. The Marquess of Huntsberry was a good man. He merely needed a little assistance in discovering that for himself.

And she would be the one to make certain that he did.

Ariadne came to her, saying, “It is time.” She took Lucy’s hands in hers. “Is this what you truly wish for? To go through with the ceremony? If not, Julian can tell the others to leave.”

“No,” Lucy said, resolve filling her. “I am most eager to wed Lord Huntsberry. I believe that not only is he a gentleman, but he also sincerely cares for me and my well-being.” She paused. “And I think that I will be able to bring out the best in him, Ariadne.”

Her cousin smiled in relief. “That is good to hear. I have high hopes for this match. Come. The others are waiting. Let us see you wed.”

Ariadne walked with her to the drawing room, where Papa stood waiting at the entrance.

Smiling, he said, “You look so very lovely, Lucy. Lord Huntsberry is a fortunate man to be wedding my daughter.”

She had always been amused how Papa called her Lucilla whenever he was in Mama’s company. If the two of them were alone, however, she was always Lucy to him.

“I believe we are both fortunate, Papa. I am looking forward to marrying the marquess.”

Her father led her into the drawing room and across its length. Lucy saw Mama standing with Con, and Ariadne was next to Julian. Besides the vicar, she also noticed another man whom she wasn’t familiar with, one who smiled broadly at her. Her gaze, though, quickly turned to her groom, who stood straight and tall. Judson smiled gently at her, and Lucy was at peace with her decision to wed him.