Page 15 of An Impulsive Kiss (Captivating Kisses #2)

J udson held his breath as Lucy and Lord Marley moved toward him. She was a vision of loveliness, absolutely the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

And she would be his . . .

He had worried that might not come to pass, especially after Ariadne sought him out and explained to him that Lucy was having a bad case of nerves. She had instructed Judson to go to Lucy, who was agitated and restless. After they spoke, though, she calmed down. It had taken him admitting that he was attracted to her before she did so. If Judson hadn’t done that, he doubted he would be waiting for her to speak their vows together.

It was terrible that she had lost her choice in this matter, thanks to Eaton. Banishing him to the country, along with his cohort, wasn’t good enough. At some point, Judson knew he would have to deal with his enemy in a more permanent fashion. The fact that Eaton had tried to corrupt Lucy and ruin her simply because he despised Judson made him seethe with anger. It would take much thought, but Eaton and his companion would need to pay for destroying Lucy’s future.

They reached him now, and the smile she bestowed upon Judson was radiant. Even his cold, hard heart melted a little at it. Lucy was so vibrant. Sweet. Caring. It would be a wonderful thing that she would be the mother of his children. She would teach them well. He would not have to worry about them being unkind or spoiled. Lucy would see to that.

He still planned to keep his distance from her, though. Wanting her wasn’t enough. He had already deprived Lucy of wedding a good man, one who might even love her. Since he could never give her the love she deserved, it would best to stay away from her as much as possible. She had a large family who would constantly surround and support her. Judson would do his duty and then give Lucy the space she needed. He could even see her working with Ariadne at the orphanage.

The vicar, reading from The Book of Common Prayer , began the ceremony. Judson had never been to a wedding, having no friends and family, and so he was hearing these words for the first time. He understood this ceremony would be not only legally but spiritually binding.

Lord Marley handed his daughter off to Judson, and Lucy now stood beside him, just the two of them. The scent of lavender was present, as usual, and he would never inhale it without thinking of his wife.

His wife . . .

Just thinking of Lucy as his marchioness caused him a moment of panic. He ignored it, knowing he had to be stoic for her. If he crumbled, the entire thing would fall apart, and her reputation would be forever ruined. Instead, he concentrated on the words the vicar spoke. They each repeated certain parts of the ceremony to one another, and Judson knew he would not take these vows lightly. He might not love Lucy—or be the best man for her—but he would never forsake her for another. The Lady Billingsleys of the ton could leap off a cliff as far as he was concerned.

The clergyman indicated for Julian to hand Judson Lucy’s wedding ring. He had long ago found the ring his father had given to Judson’s mother, and this was the ring he had decided his bride should wear to signify their union. It was a plain, gold band. No ornamentation. Something told him Lucy would prefer this type of wedding ring over more ostentatious ones. He only hoped he was right.

Repeating after the vicar, Judson declared to those present and his bride, “With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.” He slipped the ring onto her finger.

He caught the smile on Lucy’s face as she gazed down at the ring which now adorned her hand. A warm glow spread through him. Then he cursed himself for not being able to love her. Desire her, yes. He was most eager to get her into his bed. But the thing Lucy deserved the most was the exact thing Judson could never give to her. He would honor her. Respect her. Make certain she had every material possession possible.

But he could never love her. He simply had no love to give.

Suddenly, the clergyman announced they were husband and wife. He lightly brushed his lips against Lucy’s and then received congratulations from those around them. The vicar pulled him aside, telling him they would need to sign the wedding registry at some point. Judson had already given the man the special license before the ceremony had begun. He promised they would do so and then rejoined his bride.

Tim stood off to the side, and he led Lucy to his valet.

“Lady Huntsberry, I would like you to meet Tim. He serves as my valet and is the most loyal friend I have.”

Without hesitation, his new wife offered her hand to Tim, who looked surprised, but he took it.

“I am delighted to meet you, Tim. My husband is always turned out so well. Now, I know that it is you who keeps him in line and makes certain he can appear in public.”

Tim grinned. “Nice to meet you, my lady. I’ll keep doing what I can for his lordship, but I think it’s your turn to keep him in line.”

Lucy laughed, and pride swelled within Judson. He had fully expected her to be a bit cool to Tim, being a servant, but his bride was as welcoming to Tim as she would be the king himself.

“We should go into breakfast,” Lucy said. “Ariadne is signaling me.”

“I’ll take my leave now, my lord, my lady, and let you celebrate with your family,” Tim said.

“You are family, too, Tim,” Lucy said. “You should join us.”

“Thank you for your warm greeting, my lady, but I know my place—and it’s not with the others. I will head home now.” He looked to Judson. “Thank you, my lord, for inviting me to witness your marriage. You have come a long way from the young boy I knew.”

“Thank you for coming, Tim,” he said. “We will see you later today.”

Ariadne led everyone into the breakfast room, saying, “Since we are such a small group, I thought this would make for a cozier celebration.”

A buffet was set out for them, and he led his wife through it, with them being the first to partake. Everything tasted wonderful, and the conversation was lighthearted. He complimented the Aldridges and asked that they pass along his compliments to their cook for such a fine meal.

As they finished eating, a cake was rolled in atop a teacart, and everyone gasped.

“Is it from Gunter’s?” Lucy asked, clearly delighted by the three-tiered cake, decorated with yellow flowers and green stems.

“It is,” Ariadne confirmed. “Julian knows how you and I favor Gunter’s. They bake many of the wedding cakes served in the ton . I thought you would be pleased they took on yours.”

“Especially on such short notice,” Lucy marveled. “Oh, it is a wonderful gift. Thank you, Julian, for thinking of it. And you, Ariadne, for hosting our wedding and breakfast.”

“Yes,” Judson said, speaking up. “I know we did not give you much time to prepare for it, but everything has been absolutely perfect.”

They talked for another hour, lingering over tea and cake, and then Ariadne said, “We do not wish to keep you, Judson.”

He knew that was her polite way of sending them and the other guests along their way.

“Will you be at tonight’s ball?” Lady Marley asked.

Lucy frowned. “No, Mama. We will celebrate our wedding day privately. There is no sense in attending a ball when there are still so many of them left in the remainder of the Season.”

“I see,” Lady Marley said, her disapproval evident.

He was glad his wife had spoken up to her mother. Lady Marley was far too domineering, and he did not want Lucy to ever be under the woman’s thumb again.

Everyone went outside, and where his carriage had been, a barouche stood in its place.

Julian came to him. “I sent your carriage home. It is such a beautiful day, I thought you might like to drive in an open carriage through the park.”

Lucy clapped her hands. “Oh, what a wonderful idea, Julian. Thank you.” She kissed his cheek.

“Have your coachman return it when you are done,” Julian continued.

Judson handed up his wife and then climbed beside her, taking the reins. “Good day!” he called, driving the vehicle from the square and in the direction of Hyde Park.

He glanced to his bride, who had her eyes shut and her face turned up to the sun, basking in its warmth. An ache began throbbing inside him. He wanted to do right by her. Make certain that she was happy in their union, despite it being forced upon her.

She opened her eyes. “Everything about today has been perfect,” she proclaimed. “I have never attended a wedding ceremony. To think my own wedding was my first!” she said, laughing.

“The same for me,” he told her. “We are quite the pair.”

“Yes, we are,” she said, slipping her hand through his arm.

They drove through the park for an hour. It was clear of traffic because everyone in the ton was calling upon others or at tea. Only in the last few minutes before they departed did they run across others in open carriages. Judson nodded politely to them but did not stop the horses to chat.

Once they arrived home, Clippman greeted them. “Lady Huntsberry, your staff is assembled and waiting for you inside the house.”

“Oh, thank you so much. What is your name?”

“Clippman, my lady. Mrs. Clippman is your housekeeper.”

Judson leapt from the vehicle and handed Lucy down. “Lord Aldridge’s barouche will need to be returned to him, Clippman.”

“Yes, my lord. I will have it done as soon as Lady Huntsberry is acquainted with the other servants.”

They went inside, and he saw his small staff lined up inside the foyer. Mrs. Clippman greeted her mistress and introduced Lucy to the rest of the servants.

“Annie has already settled into her room,” the housekeeper said. “She is in the marchioness’ rooms now, seeing to your wardrobe, my lady.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Clippman.”

“Would it be convenient for you to meet with me tomorrow morning, my lady?” the housekeeper asked. “Much of the house has been closed off until recently. I assume you will want it opened up.”

“Yes, I will,” Lucy replied. “I believe we will need to hire more servants, though.” She looked to Judson.

“Do whatever you need to run this household the way you see fit, my lady. If you wish for furnishings or curtains to be replaced, that is your prerogative. You are now mistress of this house, and I want you to make it comfortable for you so that you view it as your home.”

“Thank you, Huntsberry,” she said, her eyes sparkling. Glancing back to the housekeeper, she added, “We can tour the house tomorrow at ten o’clock, Mrs. Clippman. I wish to see it from top to bottom. I will also want to meet with Cook and discuss this week’s menus with her.”

“Yes, my lady,” Mrs. Clippman said, clearly understanding now who was in charge.

“For now, I wish to see my rooms. If you would have Cook prepare a small supper for us, we should like to be served in an hour’s time. Somewhere other than the dining room. That is too large for the two of us.”

“I would suggest the winter parlor, my lady, but it needs a bit of tidying up. Perhaps the breakfast room?”

Lucy nodded firmly. “Yes, that will do nicely. Thank you, Mrs. Clippman.”

“Let me take you to your rooms,” Judson offered, guiding her up the stairs.

“Was I too firm?” she asked. “I wanted your servants to realize that though I am young, I do know how to run a household. Please, give me your honest opinion.”

“You were perfect,” he told her. “They will come to adore you.”

She giggled. “Mr. Clippman is so very proper. And Mrs. Clippman looked as if she were hiding that her nose was slightly out of joint.”

“She has been the housekeeper ever since my father’s days. Since my mother died giving birth to me, Mrs. Clippman is really the only feminine hand the house has known for almost thirty years.”

Lucy stopped, squeezing his arm in sympathy. “Judson, I am so sorry. I did not know that.”

“It’s neither here nor there,” he said brusquely.

“No, do not brush it off. Or me,” she told him. “Not having a mother is very sad. I am sorry you never knew her. Moreover, I am sorry she did not live to see the good man you have become.”

He didn’t feel especially good. It was what his father had wanted of him, but Judson had failed miserably to live up to that. He had been vengeful. Cold. Dispassionate. He saw nothing good in him.

Yet this woman did. His wife. His throat grew thick with emotion. “Come. I want you to see your rooms.”

They arrived, and he led her through the suite, trying to view things through her eyes.

“It is obvious no woman has lived here for a very long time,” she finally said. “The wallpaper is faded. The carpeting thin. The rooms are crowded with too much furniture.” She smiled brightly. “But all of that is easy to remedy.”

“I meant what I said. You can make any changes to this house that will please you. Strip every room. Bring in painters or carpenters or whomever. You can purchase new furniture. Art. Whatever you wish to make this your home.”

“I am grateful you trust my judgment, Judson. I will make some changes, but I would like to share those with you before I do so.”

He did not want to spend hours with her, looking at samples of wallpaper or carpeting. Judson needed to spend as little time as possible with Lucy because he did not want her to grow too attached to him.

Nor him to her.

“No,” he said firmly. “The household is your domain. You are to make all the decisions. You are its mistress. I will be happy with whatever you alter.”

Disappointment flashed in her eyes, but she hid it quickly. “Very well.”

She moved through the sitting room into the bedchamber, where her lady’s maid was still unpacking.

“Finding a place for everything, my lady,” the servant said. “Good evening, my lord. I’m Annie.”

“It is good to meet you, Annie. I hope Mrs. Clippman and the other servants have made you feel welcome.”

“They have, my lord. I look forward to living in your household.”

He looked at his bride. “I will come for you in an hour’s time. We can dine then.”

Judson left her, returning to his own rooms, where he found Tim waiting for him.

“She’s a keeper, my lord,” Tim praised. “Did you see how kind she was to me? Didn’t bat an eye when she heard I was your valet. Was just as nice as she could be.”

“Yes, my wife is very kind,” he agreed. “She is wanting to make some changes to the house, though. Help her in any way you can.”

“I certainly will, my lord.”

Judson called for his wife at the appointed time, and he escorted her downstairs to the breakfast room. Cook had prepared a cold supper for them, consisting of chicken, cheese, bread, fruit, and wine. He sent Clippman away after the butler uncorked the wine, not wanting the servant hovering nearby and hearing every word of their conversation.

“Do you often dismiss your servants?” Lucy asked. “I rather like having a bit of privacy.”

He poured her a glass of wine. “Not usually. But I saw no need for him to stay and wait on us.”

She drank her wine but merely nibbled at the chicken and ate a few grapes. Judson decided that she was growing wary of what lie ahead.

They finished dining, and he took her back up to her rooms. Pausing outside them, he said, “I know you are weary. It has been a long day. A rather long few days, truth be told. I will bid you goodnight.”

“You... are not joining me? Or will you send for me later this evening?” she asked, concern obvious in her voice.

Facing her, he said, “No. I will have no need of you tonight.”

She bit her lip, a habit he’d noticed. “Have I done something wrong, Judson? Angered you in some way?”

He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Not at all. But you must understand, Lucy, that what we have is not the love match of your cousin and her husband. This is a marriage of convenience. In truth, we are practically strangers and know little about one another. Giving yourself to me is an intimate act. One that should not occur until we do know one another better.”

“But we are husband and wife,” she protested.

“We are. I have a copy of the marriage settlements for you to read. In them, you will see how well I have taken care of you and any children we might have. Your future is secure, even after I am gone, and any daughters we have will receive ample dowries. Any sons beyond the heir apparent will also be financially secure.”

Judson paused. “I told your brother I would be a good husband to you, and I do not accept those responsibilities lightly. I want you to know you will have everything you need. You will want for nothing. But we are not and never will be a love match. I will do my duty and come to your bed when the time is right because I know how much you want children.

“For now, though, I think it best to wait until we are more comfortable and know one another a little better.”

He kissed her brow. “Sleep well.”

Knowing she wanted more from him—and knowing he couldn’t give it to her right now—Judson walked away. His desire for her grew stronger each time he was in her presence, but he must temper it. He did not want her to confuse passion and desire for love, and Lucy was innocent enough to make that mistake.

Judson entered his own rooms and stripped off his clothes, not bothering to ring for Tim. He got into bed.

And lay awake for a long time.