Page 67 of Alphas Like Us

I want themboth.

When Jane finally reached the hospital before my surgery, she broke down. My voice kept cracking, and she couldn’t stop rambling about the mathematical probability of life and death. And how she should’ve been in the car withme.

Tears leaked out of her eyes, and then we agreed that we’d survive this. We can survive anything with a bit of luck and a whole lot oflove.

In the quiet but crowded attic, I tell my best friend, “Je suis vivant, ma moitié.”I’m alive, my otherhalf.

She smiles into a sip of beer. “Je ne voudrais pas de toi d’une autre manière.”I wouldn’t want you any otherway.

Farrow’s heartbeat thuds in a calm rhythm against my back, and we both see Luna perk up from her sprawled face-plantedposition.

“Does this mean you’ll get high with me, Moffy?” Luna asks, head propped in herhand.

Ever since the FanCon with the pot cookie debacle, I’m still forever processing the fact that my little sister has smoked weed before. My brows cinch, thinking about a situation where I’dwantto be high while she’s high. I’m fine with her smoking if she’s careful, but I want to be coherent in thatinstance.

“Not a chance, sis,” I saytruthfully.

“Not even right now?” Luna taps her nose since I’m out of reach and she can’t tap mine. A gesture we did as kids that kind of meanshey brother,hey sister. Then she swings her gangly arm to Donnelly for theblunt.

“Nah.” He finishes the blunt himself. “Four Lokos and weed don’t mix.” He blows smoke off to theside.

“Dammit,” Luna mutters and says to me, “Nexttime.”

I smile. Feeling how much she wants to stay close to me, and I know letting her move in was the right decision. Now I just have to figure out if letting her do this auction is a decision I’ll regretforever.

* * *

Lights off by 2 a.m.,everyone has crashed and fallen asleep in my attic bedroom. It’s pretty much what happens when you endure a massive doomsday and stay up latetalking.

I can’tsleep.

I was conked out for so long after my surgery. Now my mind is wide-awake and playing mental catch-up:talk to my brother(later).A porn star bought you(Jesus Christ).Protect your brother, protect your sisters, protect everyone(always).

Don’t let Farrow go(Iwon’t).

Marryhim.

Put a ring onit.

What if he’s not intomarriage?

What if that’s why he rejected his ex’sproposal?

But we talked about kids.Twice.

Jokingly?

No, it was fuckingserious.

Ithink.

You can have kids without beingmarried.

Don’t name your sonBatman.

I squeeze my eyes shut. Alright, my mind can shut the fuck upnow.

I think I’m the only one awake until the clock hits 2:30 a.m. And I hear whispering. From the right side of theroom.