Page 42 of Alphas Like Us

“Why?” I try to sit upmore.

“Because nine-times-out-of-ten, I’m going to tell you to take any risk, and if it means you’ll live longer, then there’s actually no debate.” Farrow flips a page, his eyes drifting between me and the book. Until he’s just looking at me. “Tonight shook you up a little bit.” It’s not aquestion.

He cansee.

I nod. “All I know is that I know nothing, and I’m alright with that as long as you’re in my life—and that’s fucking hard for me to admit. That I’m clueless about where I go from here and what the fuck I’m doing, but it doesn’t matter as much as you matter to me. And I’mrambling…”

His lips curve upward, and he waves me on. “Keepgoing.”

“You,” I retortdryly.

He rolls his eyes and stares at the ceiling before his gaze falls on me. “In medicine, I’ve met a lot of death, and it’s made me appreciate the present and not regret or fixate on thecould’ve beens.But if something happened to you tonight and you became acould’ve been, it would’ve crushed me for the rest of my life.” His chest rises in a bigger breath, and he finishes with, “And all I know is that I knoweverything.”

I blink slowly. “Give me my book so I can throw it atyou.”

Farrow smiles. “Let me think about that.” He doesn’t think about it and he keeps my paperback right in his hand. But his other hand leaves my knee and crawls up mythigh.

I like that. Too damnmuch.

My phone rings near my side. Every person in my family has texted about a dozen times. I have plenty of new ones, especially from mysiblings.

You’re not cool enough to be a ghost, so you’re not allowed to die.–Kinney

My dad said she tried to sneak into the car. Just so he’dhaveto bring her to the hospital. He caught her, so she’s grumpy and still at home. None of the parents want any of the kids on the road. At least not until the morning when the storm is supposed to diedown.

FaceTime me when it’s not like 3 a.m. Going to bed. Glad you’re ok. Love u.–Xander

My brother’s texts remind me about what I learned tonight. He’s been giving away his pills to the neighborhood kid. A truth that I clutch but can’t confront just yet. Not while I’m stuck in this hospital. This is something I need to talk to him about face-to-face. Everyone just assumed Winona and Ben drove to the orchestra hall to protest the auction, so no one knows aboutXander.

On my wayyy!!–Luna

I smile at Luna’s text. But the call isn’t from my siblings. It’s from my bestfriend.

I clickspeakerphoneso Farrow can hear. “You all close yet?” I askJanie.

“We’re still in terribly slow traffic,” shesays.

I picture Jane packed in a car with Beckett, Luna, Thatcher, Quinn and Donnelly. All six are headed here from the orchestrahall.

“Be careful,” I tell her and shut my eyes for a second, pain radiating down myribs.

“Updates?” sheasks.

I open my eyes and stare at the closed door. “Sulli just got here with all the parents, about a half hour ago. She’s with Winona.”In the room across the hall. I try to squash the guilt because it’s my job to protect those girls. Uncle Ryke…has to hateme.

I hate myself for putting her in that much danger. For putting Ben indanger.

“She’s fine,” Farrow says and reaches for a tin of chocolates on a nearby traytable.

“Her lip is being stitched up,” I correct. “She’s notfine.”

“She’ll survive,” Farrow sayseasily.

Jane interjects, “I’ve already spoken toSulli.”

I try to sit up again, my muscles screaming. So I stop. “Ben is in another room. My dad said his concussion is mild, and I think Charlie is getting surgery on his legsoon—”

“I meant updates about you,” Jane says. “I’ve talked to my brothers and my parents already,too.”