Page 185 of Alphas Like Us

I try tofollow.

“No. I can’t—I don’t want to be around you,” he cries.He’scrying.

I nod stiffly. “Alright.” I almost sway back, and Farrow nears me—and I shake my head at him. If he touches me, I will burst open and probably scream or cry or both. He’s the only one that can make me come undone, and I’m not unraveling in front of all theteenagers.

Luna jogs across the deck to reach Xander. Her light brown hair whipping behind her, and she’s still doing the plain outfit thing, no thanks to her asshole boyfriend. But Luna didn’t invite Andrew on the trip. You should know that our dad hates him just as much as me, and he hasn’t even met Andrew yet. Or seen how pushy and undercutting heis.

I met him once and I almost punched him after he told my sister, “You’re so much prettier when you don’t swing your arms when you walk.” Even though she doesn’t see him as much, Luna said that I wasn’t allowed to hang with them anymore. So there’s that fallout. I’m just doing great with my siblingslately.

Perfect bigbrother.

The best, let me tellyou.

I watch Luna hug Xander, and his body shudders against her gangly frame. And then Kinney climbs out of the hot tub in a black one-piece swimsuit. My youngest sister joins Luna and Xander, and they all leave into the main saloon. Glass doors sliding closed behindthem.

I blink. Those are my threesiblings.

All theHales.

And I’m left here.I hurt him. I hurt him.I crack my taut neck, pressure on mychest.

“Maximoff,” Farrowbreathes.

I turn to face my boyfriend, chatter starting back up around the main deck. “You told me this would happen,” I whisper, rubbing my knuckles. I see how he wants to take my hand in his hand. I see how he wants to bring me to his chest. It hurts even more to not draw closer, to not let him touch me, but I also can’t—nothere.

He inhales. “I said it was a bad idea. I didn’t saythiswouldhappen.”

I rest my hand on the back of my neck. “I’mokay.”

“You’re not okay,” he says with another inhale, and his phone starts ringing. Oscaragain.

Before he rejects the call for me, I tell him, “I’m going to find the letter you wroteBeckett.”

He studies my expression, and I try to breathe better, stronger. Seeing that, he nods. “I’ll take this, and we’ll meet backup?”

“Yeah,” Iagree.

I think it’s killing him not to kiss me in a short goodbye. Hewavers.

“I’msorry—”

He cuts me off, “No, don’t be. You’re giving me more than enough, wolf scout. I’m here for what you need, and you need privacy.” He lifts his brows. “Later?”

I nod. “Later.” And I exhale evenbigger.

Farrow has to redial Oscar since the call rung out, and while he returns to the couch, I pop my knuckles and head to Beckett, Charlie, and Sulli’s table. Game pieces spread out, colorful cards inhand.

A gold dragon-headed cane is propped against the table. Eliot has been swapping out Charlie’s canes every so often with new ones. And whenever I see my cousin, his newest cane looks more ostentatious andbizarre.

Beckett leans back on his chair, cigarette between his lips. I’ve been so goddamn concerned about Beckett, but since he’s not using right now, the most I can do is check in with Charlie. Which is difficult since Charlie ignores me more than half the time. But until Beckett returns to ballet, it has to beenough.

“Hey, Beck,” I say. “Where’s the letter Farrow gave you? I want to read it.” Can’t think of a better pick-me-up.

“Oh yeah, it’s a good fucking letter,” Sulli says with a strong nod, rollingdice.

Jesus. Has everyone really read this letter butme?

“It’s in my cabin. Top dresser.” Beckett taps ash into an ashtray, and very meticulously, he wipes the rim. Charlie watches his twin brother more fixatedly thanusual.