Page 146 of Almost Ravaged

On a shuddering inhale, I focus on the damp grass soaking into my jeans and the sharp chill of the morning air on my tear-stained cheeks.

“She’s dead.” I press my lips together to prevent myself from adding“because of me.”

“Maybe. Or maybe not.” He releases me. Then, with one hand cupped under the lip of the hive entrance, he uses the other to gently brush the bee into his palm.

The crack in my heart cleaves deeper. She looks so tiny and helpless in his hand. I squeeze my eyes shut, unable to look at her for a second longer.

“Hold out your hand, like this.”

I force my eyes open. “What?”

He can’t actually expect me to hold her lifeless body.

“Bees will drop into a sort of resting state to conserve energy when they’re too cold. If we hadn’t found her, she probably would have woken on her own once the temperature rose a little more. But I can’t stand another second of your distress, so we can try to speed things along.”

My knuckles ache to be cracked, but I resist. Instead, I hold out one hand like he asked.

Noah turns her into my palm. Then he cups both hands around mine, brings them to his face, and breathes warm air against my skin.

He pulls back quickly, and we watch in anticipation.

Nothing happens.

She’s not moving.

She’s still dead.

“Patience, honey.” He bends lower and repeats the process.

“Loosen your hand. Don’t want her getting too much carbon dioxide.” The concern in his tone rockets my anxiety right back into the clouds.

I do as I’m told, my breaths choppy.

“Come on,” he murmurs, cradling my hand and using his breath to warm the air.

A low buzz vibrates through me as her life force returns.

Two seconds later, she moves more obviously. She’s awake.

I cry out. Tears once again prick at my eyes, but this time they’re tears of joy. I watch in delight as the bee fully comes to and takes flight.

“See?” He gives me a cocksure smile and cradles my jaw. “She just needed a little extra TLC.”

I don’t know who moves first, but we meet in the middle, still kneeling in the grass, all desperate hands and frenetic energy.

The worry, the stress, the loneliness and heartache and shame of the last several years, rise up inside me, as if they’ve been waiting for this moment to finally boil over.

I cry in earnest this time, tears streaming down my face. Sadness seeps out of every pore, my body flushing out the pain and heartache. It’s a damn deluge flowing through my limbs and escaping with each gasping, shuddering breath.

Noah wraps me in his arms and kisses me again. Only then do I settle.

I’m safe. I’m here.

And for the first time in a very long time, I genuinely believe I’m going to be okay.

Chapter fifty-two

Sawyer