Page 39 of All Your Days (Mayhem Manuscripts Season One: 1nf3ction #4)

“Come on, sit down.” He says eventually, pulling back and waving to his bed. “Tell me about your meeting with the commanders. How was it?”

Inwardly I groan, but I let him lead me to the bed.

We stretch out together on his cramped bed and I tell him all about the meeting while he scratches at my scalp.

It was one of the worst meetings I’ve had in a while, just because of what I had to share.

Over and over again I had to tell them about the increasing tensions between the three of them and the rest of us.

About mine and Lou’s fears that they would retaliate if we made any move to isolate or restrain Cale.

And then finally what happened when he turned and how we only survived because of Ryan.

Every so often they apologised for making me relive it—then they asked the same questions again, only a little differently. Like after all these years I’m suddenly lying and not to be trusted.

It’s the way these meetings go every time, and I know better than to take it personally, but I was really done by the time they sent me to my pod.

At least they didn’t do the same thing about the night of the red rains.

It was more than enough to explain that Eli and I holed up in the trailer for the night.

They know we’re both carriers. They know what happened.

Nobody needed me to paint them a picture.

“That’s fucked. I’m sorry.” Eli kisses my head this time when I’m done talking. It’s nice, getting to share all this with someone. Getting to share it with him.

“Yeah, but it’s not so bad. They won’t be so hard on you.”

Eli doesn’t say anything, he just snuffles against my hair and continues to pet me.

“You seen Moby?” I ask after a while.

“Yeah, he came down to see me when we were unloading the trailer. He says thank you for the moth, too. And he’s glad you’re back.”

I smile against Eli’s shirt, a thick lump in my throat. People tell me they’re glad I’m back after every trip, but I’ve always told myself that what they meant was that they were glad I made it back with their supplies.

This time, I’m really trying to tell myself they actually mean me . It’s going to take a while to get used to.

“What is it you wanted to show me?” I ask.

“Oh shit, yeah. That.” Eli sounds nervous, his hands stilling in their casual patting.

I was just trying to avoid feeling uncomfortable, but now I’m curious. I kinda thought he was just joking around and that he wanted to show me his dick. Okay, maybe I was hoping it was that, too, but apparently he has something else in mind.

“Sit up.” He smacks my shoulder impatiently and, begrudgingly, I allow him up.

It’s obvious he’s nervous as he rushes around the room, pulling notebooks from all over the place.

“This—uh—now that I think about it, this may be a terrible idea.” He chews his lip and stares at the stack of notebooks, clearly unsure.

“Eli, you don’t have to—“

“No, be quiet. You shared with me. I gotta share with you. Look.”

A book is thrust into my hands. Carefully, I open the cover.

“Did you want to sit down next to me?”

“No, I wanna be standin’. Easier to get to the loo if I need to puke.”

I laugh along with him, but it dies in my throat when I realise what I’m looking at.

It’s me.

Page after page of sketches—all of them me.

Sure, some of them are just hands or lips or eyes—even my hair—but there is enough to put the picture together.

“Holy shit, Eli… this is.. this…”

I turn the page again and it’s me again. Faceless this time, but I know. I’m holding someone. Someone who’s blurry outline looks remarkably like the man right in front of me.

“Creepy? Weird? Kinda stalkerish in a way that rivals all your lurkin’ over the years?”

I chuckle, still staring at the silhouette of us.

“Well, yeah, but also… it’s incredible.” I drag my eyes up to him, my heart thudding in my chest. “But, why?”

“Because, Jacob. I—I love you too. I reckon I have for the longest time.” His delicate hand rests on the pile. “They are all you—ten years of you.”

“I don’t know what to say,” I breathe, staring into his eyes, completely floored by the deep well of love in them.

Something giddy and unfamiliar bubbles up inside me.

To be seen as thoroughly as Eli sees me is humbling.

It should be unsettling, but with him—because of him—it feels safe.

A soft laugh rumbles out of my chest, my smile hurting my face. “Fuck, but we were idiots, weren’t we?”

I shake my head and carefully put the stack of sketchbooks to the side. Eli’s face wavers for a second, his insecurity trying to rear its ugly head. But then his smile breaks through again, a soft pink blush spreading over his cheeks.

“Yeah, that about covers it.” He steps closer til his knees brush mine, his fingers toying with the pockets of his pants, not quite sure what to do with themselves.

Needing to touch him, I reach up and place my hands on his hips, giving them—and his fidgeting hands—a squeeze before brushing down his thighs and back up. Capturing Eli’s eyes, we stare for a moment, reality finally sinking in for the both of us.

This is it. There’s no taking it back. Not that I’d ever dream of it.

“I love you, Eli.” My whisper melts away the last of his fear.

“I love you too.” He whispers back, cupping my cheek and stroking my beard almost reverently. I’ll never tire of hearing him say those words.

“C’mere.” Slipping my hands around, I tug firmly on his hips, sending Eli tumbling towards me.

Not that he fights me. His mouth crashes against mine, kissing me with all the emotions we don’t know how to say.

He pushes me back onto his bed that’s barely big enough to fit the two of us, but after nights of camping cots and trailer floors, it’s the most luxurious feeling in the world.

It might be why we take our time, allowing our bodies to say all the things we can’t find the words for. Peeling our clothes from our bodies like they are layers of our souls, kissing the bared skin like they’re revelations.

I’ve fucked before, we’ve fucked before. But I’ve never made love. Not like this, and when Eli comes, crying out my name like a prayer, I come completely undone. For him, only ever for him.

“I got something for you.” Eli says sometime later, and I’m impressed, because I barely have the brains left in me to string two thoughts together, let alone words.

He reaches over me, stretching his torso over me to reach for something on the small table beside his bed.

One perfect nipple rests over my face as he gropes for whatever he’s searching for, and without thinking twice, I suck the pebbled nub into my mouth.

Eli fumbles, jerking and then sagging into my touch.

But only for a second, then he pulls himself away to settle back at my side.

“Here. Give me your hand.” He’s already snatching it up when he asks, sliding something cool over my wrist.

“What’s this?” I ask, surveying the glass beads and tiny shells now wrapped around me.

“I got it. At the trading sheds. It reminded me of you, the day we met. You had all these things in your hair. I liked it.” Eli’s chest turns pink as he confesses.

My smile hurts, it's so big. I tear my eyes from the beads shining in the lights of his room to pull him in for another long, slow kiss.

“It’s always been you, Jacob. Always.” Eli whispers when we finally come up for air, pressing his forehead to mine.

“I really am sorry I was a dick. We wasted all that fucking time.” I shake my head, my mind already replaying all the ways things could’ve been different. All the days we lost.

Eli doesn’t let me sulk about it. Nudging my face up to meet his eyes, he gets a little more forceful when I resist.

“That doesn’t matter now. You’ve come to your senses.” He smiles and presses his lips to mine, snatching another kiss.

I scoff loudly when he pulls back, biting his lip to hold back his smile.

“Me, come to my senses!” I tease, squeezing my arms around him. “I thought we agreed we were both idiots?”

Eli shrugs his shoulder with a little hum. “Yeah, but you were the bigger idiot out of the pair of us. But that’s okay, you can spend the rest of your days making it up to me.”

“That so?” I huff a laugh and brush a kiss to one of the many bruises littering his collarbones. We both say it like we’re joking, but too fucking right I’m going to make it up to him.

“Yeah, I do.” My soft kisses must be tickling, because he’s laughing and squirming against me. I just tighten my hold.

“I think I can do that.”

“Promise?” Eli sucks in a breath, eyes sparkling bright.

“Yeah, Eli. That’s a promise.”

We fall into another kiss, losing ourselves to one another. And while I don’t know what’s coming, or where our lives will take us, I know that we’ll face it together.

For all our days.

The End.

Thank you so much for reading Jacob and Eli's story!