Page 16 of All Your Days (Mayhem Manuscripts Season One: 1nf3ction #4)

Chapter seven

Jacob

Eli didn’t walk with me yesterday. He decided he’d prefer to ride the camel rather than walk with me when it was my shift pulling.

He walked with Lou, though. They chatted the whole afternoon about people they both knew at The Facility, and about Eli’s art.

Apparently, Lou has more than a few of Eli’s drawings back in his hut.

I’ve been alone my whole life, by choice or by fate. But yesterday was the first time since I was a kid that I felt it. And it felt like shit.

It sat like an aching pit inside me, made worse by the shithouse sleep I’ve managed to scrape together ever since I ran from him after our water fight two nights ago.

I know he probably doesn’t get it, or worse, thinks it’s personal.

But I’m just fucking scared. Terrified.

I don’t know how people do it; I don’t know how they risk it. Just look at Kelly. He had everything. A wife, a baby, and all the safety The Facility could offer.

And I don’t even know if he’ll be alive when I get back. And if he is, I don’t know if he’ll be him anymore. It’s just… over for him.

It’s too much.

“So you reckon we’ll get there today?” Lou asks as we complete the final checks on the saddles and trailer straps.

“Without a doubt. We’re not gonna make it ‘till dark, though. Actually—” I put my fingers to my lips and let out a sharp whistle. “Everybody, a heads up!”

It takes a second for everyone to stop what they are doing and pay attention.

Eli’s the last one, meticulously zipping his notebook back into his emergency bag and sauntering over.

Squashing down my feelings is something I’m well practiced at, so I make use of it now, burying the sick feeling inside me that wants to both run to him and run from him.

“What’s wrong? We gonna pass another station full of freaks who wanna kidnap and torture us?” Cale jokes, elbowing Eli standing next to him.

Eli obviously wasn’t expecting it, frowning up at the much taller Cale, who doesn’t seem to register Eli’s confusion at all.

As much as the guards may irritate the shit out of me, they’ve been halfway decent. I mean, we haven’t been attacked by feral pigs or goats or anything yet. So I smile and play nice with the joke.

“Not that I know of. I just wanna go over all the shit from last night again. There was a lot so I wanna make sure we’re all clear.

” I went through the details of the next stretch of our journey after our dinner last night.

I even went over safety and the like for the outpost since we’re going to have to spend the night there.

But the trio had been too busy peppering me with questions to really take in the seriousness of getting there.

“Like I said, we’re entering old minin’ territory. For the love of God, stick to the road. Absolutely no runnin’ through the fields. There’re hidden entrances everywhere and the old mines are unstable as shit.”

“And, it’s not uncommon for raiders to hide behind the old piles out there to prey on travellers. We should be right; from the tracks we’ve passed, the armymen have just been through the area, but, fuck, please just keep on lookout.”

“Don’t worry, it’s what we’re here for, Jacob.” Malcolm nods, looking serious for the first time on the trip. “We got your back. Don’t we, boys?”

My initial reassurance is immediately dimmed when the three of them high five, shouting out their “Aw, yeahs!”, egging each other on like teenage boys. I wave a hand at them to try to get them to shut up.

“Yeah, too right. But seriously, keep a lookout, ‘kay?” I don’t let them start again before I continue.

“And when we get to the outpost, do not go out on your own. Do not mouth off to anyone. The armymen keep a pretty tight rein on the settlement, but the people there aren’t like the ones at The Facility.

Not always. There’s people there you don’t wanna get on the bad side of.

We keep watch on each other, though, ‘kay? Let’s get loaded and head on out. ”

I look at the four of them—Malcolm, Ryan, Cale and Lou—in turn. They know what I mean.

We keep watch on Eli.

Cale and Malcolm snickered when I pulled them aside to tell them Eli isn’t to wander the outpost alone.

Ryan rolled his eyes. But they all agreed.

It was only with Lou that I didn’t have to pull out the excuse that Eli’s the only one out of us unarmed and untrained.

Lou, at least, has experience with a rifle from his job watching the camels overnight.

He wasn’t issued with one of the Union guns, but he brought the shitty rifle he uses to keep feral animals at bay with him. It’s better than nothing.

“Lou, you ride with the train. Keep your gun ready.” I add quietly to the older man, when the guards move off to collect the last of their shit together.

“You reckon we’ll need it?” He asks out the side of his mouth, pretending to rearrange Sheba’s blankets. As a cameleer, Lou’s had training to keep the animals safe when out in the paddocks.

“I reckon we’ll be right, but ya never know. I’ve only been held up three times on this stretch. Just don’t want to risk it today.”

Like he can read my mind, his eyes flick to Eli over my shoulder. I don’t have to look to know he’s creeping closer. I can feel it.

“Fair ‘nough. I’ll get old Lucy ready and then I’ll make sure those boys don’t accidentally shoot ‘emselves in the foot in the meantime.”

I pat his shoulder in thanks and the man lumbers off to get himself sorted.

“You’ve been held up out here? More than once?” Eli’s voice is tight with restrained concern.

Heart in my throat, I turn to face him.

No one looks good after three days on the road. We’re tired, sunburnt and filthy, coated in a layer of sweat and red dirt our wash-downs at the basin aren’t sufficient in scouring away. I’m sure we stink as bad as the camels, but by this point, our noses have given up and quit.

But even disgusting, and grimey, and exhausted, Eli is still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in all my life.

I want to reach out and push the stray lock of hair that’s fallen over his brow back from his face, but it’s not my place.

“It’s part of the job. Nothin’s ever happened. Most’a the time, they don’t even have bullets in their guns.”

“ Most of the time ?” Eli’s voice isn’t concerned now. It’s high pitched and anxious. “They’ve shot at you ?”

I may have fucked up admitting that. But, I can’t deny it’s nice that he’s obviously concerned.

“Well, yeah. But I never actually got shot myself. Their guns are usually rubbish. It’s fine.”

One of the downsides of having kept mostly to myself is I’ve never developed the ability to reassure someone—something I didn’t know about myself until right this moment.

Eli’s rising stress levels are visible. He gets closer and closer until I’m having to step backwards.

He just keeps coming until I’m trapped between him and Sheba.

“How are you so casual about this? What if you died ?”

Lines crease his forehead from the way he frowns up at me. His face is a burning red, and not just from the sun. He’s upset. Really upset. It shouldn’t feel good. But it does. Tentatively, I rest both my hands on his shoulders. Theoretically, to push him back, but I just squeeze them tight.

“I didn’t, though. I’m still here.” Brown eyes, fierce and angry and hurt bore up at me.

His lips pucker tightly, like he’s holding back his argument, and I figure this is the perfect time for his safety talk.

“But the danger of the next stretch is real. I want you with me until we get to the outpost. And when we get there, you keep your mask on at all times, got me? My hat, too, if y’need it.

But you don’t go fuckin’ anywhere without me, Lou, or one of the guards. You hear me?”

“You think it’s gonna be that dangerous?” His anger fades that quickly, replaced with even more worry.

About three years ago, Eli ran into a real spot of trouble at The Facility. He’s always been pestered by people wanting a piece of him, but that time a visiting unit of armymen took a real shine to him. I don’t know if he ever found out how serious their plans to kidnap him were.

I noticed them watching him as intently as I was.

It made me suspicious, so I made sure to always be where they were, even finagling some changes in my roster to keep an extra eye on them.

But it was Huey that overheard their plans to snatch him up before they left The Facility back for the small Union barracks on the western border.

It was pure luck I was coming back from Command just as Huey was heading there to make a report.

I got to their little group just in time, kicking off a fight that would have usually seen me land in the cells on level eight for a short stint.

It kept the armymen occupied until the rest of the guard could get there, and Huey testified about what he heard, and two of the six involved confessed in return for leniency from the Union.

I spent a week in the medical unit with a couple of broken ribs and a banged up face, but it didn’t matter to me, so long as Eli was safe.

And now I’m taking him to the kind of place where those sorts of men are as common as spiders in a scrap heap.

“It can be. The outpost is just a way-point. There’s a settlement buildin’ up around it, but you never know who’s travellin’ through. We just gotta keep our wits about us.”

Eli exhales slowly and nods, pulling himself back together.

“Can do. Let’s roll out, I guess.”

He’s brave. Braver in a way I’m not sure I could ever be. Eli straightens his shoulders and clips his emergency bag next to mine on Adeeko, who’s leading the train today. When I get his nod that he’s ready, I raise my fingers to my lips and let out a sharp whistle, and we’re off.

“ Whoa . Would you look at that…” Eli breathes, grabbing my arm suddenly, pulling our train to a stop.