Page 22 of All Your Days (Mayhem Manuscripts Season One: 1nf3ction #4)

Chapter nine

Jacob

“ Why what?’ ” Eli spits venomously and my eyes sink closed.

“Why, Jacob! Why? Why’re you like this? Why do you lurk about watchin’ me?

D’you think I don’t see you? D’you think I’m dumb?

You are always there! Breakfast—you’re there!

Dinner—you’re there! Go out to visit the craftsmens’ shops, guess who’s watchin’ me from the walls? Fuck!”

“You even loiter about when I’m fuckin’ somebody else—do you think I didn’t notice you managing to walk by just as Drazic was pullin’ up his pants after we got off together last month?

Is that it? Do you get off on it? Is that why you pissed off the other night in the camp?

Do you only get off on watchin’ me with other blokes?

Do you haunt the corridors of The Facility just waitin’ for me to go fuck around so that you can just sneak up and—”

My heart pounds so tightly in my chest, the feeling inside me building and building until every second of feeling I’ve fucking felt in my life explodes out of me.

I roar—a sound I’ve never heard from myself before, bellowing from deep within my guts.

I launch myself blindly at Eli. I can’t see where he is in the dark, I just know he’s above me somewhere.

I catch him around his middle, cutting off his tirade with a loud oof sound when my shoulder slams into him.

He fights back, slapping and kicking me away with frustrated grunts. He’s too angry, though, and has no idea what he’s doing, so it doesn’t take much to have him pinned beneath me, his wrists trapped in one of mine above his head against the pillows.

I brace my weight on my other elbow, keeping my chest up off his, our bellies pressed firmly together.

And in the short-lived tussle I’ve worked my way between his thighs.

Our legs are tangled, but my groin is hard up against his.

Only the thinnest fabric separates his cock from mine.

Like this, he’s trapped. He just hasn’t figured it out yet.

He’s still fighting me, trying to wriggle his way out of my grip.

With each bucking thrust the length of his erection drags against mine—our sleeping shorts adding to the torturous friction.

The smart thing to do would be to move. To let him go and run to the bathroom and lock myself in there.

But I don’t—I’m just as furious as he is.

His outburst has unleashed all the things I’ve tried to keep locked up tight.

Every fear, every nightmare comes rushing to the surface until I’m drowning in them.

Eli is my only lifeline. I sink down lower, until the heated, bare skin of his chest burns me like a brand.

I use my weight to settle him, keeping his wrists firmly trapped.

“Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” I hiss, my forehead dropping to his. It helps me orient myself. “It kills me every fuckin’ time someone touches you. Every time you’re out of my sight, I’m terrified that somethin’s gonna happen.”

“Then why do you leave ! I know you volunteered for these fuckin’ runs, Jacob. Why don’t you ever talk to me? Why! ” His breath is hot against my face with each furious whisper-yell.

Squeezing my eyes tight to ease the tightness in my chest, I brush my nose over his cheek, and then the other.

“Because I can’t , Eli. I can’t stay and watch you. I can’t have you and I can’t leave you and I can’t stay.”

“But why? ” Eli sobs, fighting against my hold once again.

“This world… we’re carriers , Eli. If the virus doesn’t get us, it’ll be somethin’ else.

It’s always fuckin’ somethin’. It’s inevitable.

” Tears sting my eyes and I can’t hold them back.

“I can’t lose you, too. I can’t have you and lose you like I lost everyone else.

It will–it’ll be the fuckin’ end of me.”

“So we get nothin’ instead? That’s fucked, Jacob.”

There is dampness on the pillow where my elbow digs in next to his face. I just don’t know if it’s from my tears or his.

“It’s—it’s for the best.” I try to sound reasonable, but it just comes out broken.

Sighing heavily, I release his wrists so I can heave myself off him, but he’s ready for me, snapping into action. Strong thighs wrap around my hips, and tender hands with fresh calluses cup my face for a second before they’re gone. Then he rolls me.

The air is knocked from my lungs as we flip back across the bed, landing with Eli straddling my hips.

“That's some bullshit, Jacob.” Eli sniffs loudly, and I feel the hot droplets of his tears splash on my stomach. He wriggles his arse on my dick for one agonisingly glorious second. I don’t think he meant it—he’s just wiping the tears from his face.

“Give me one night. Just one night where I can pretend you’re mine.

One night and then we’ll lock whatever this is between us away forever. Just like you want.”

One long finger digs into the soft space just below my ribs, punctuating his words.

“It’s not what I want, Eli. It’s what’s—”

His hand flattens against my chest, shoving me against the mattress.

“No! I don’t wanna hear it, Jacob. One night. It’s all I ask. Please. ”

It’s the ‘please’ that does me in. A hoarse whining sound rips from my chest, another sound I’ve never made before, and I reach up for him.

He reaches for me at the same time, smoothing his hand up my chest to palm my neck as my hand wraps around the back of his head, gripping his hair tightly to haul him down to me.

When his mouth is a hair's breadth from mine, I use that grip to keep him from closing the distance.

“One night, Eli.” I can’t deny him. I’m weak. Too fucking weak. It’s going to completely ruin me, but better that than deny him this one thing. It’s all I can give him. All I can take.

“One night, you absolute fuckin’ idiot.”

Ignoring the pain of my hand pulling his hair, Eli firms up his grip on my throat and lunges the remaining distance.

His lips crash into mine with a feral groan and in that second, the hand around my throat squeezes gently then shifts up to cup my jaw, angling me right where he wants me.

The moment my lips part, he invades me, tongue seeking mine.

It’s heaven. It’s hell. He tastes me like he knows how thoroughly he owns me.

Years of pent up need are funneled into the kiss.

It’s chaotic and needy to the point of pain.

Teeth clash against teeth as Eli tries his best to climb inside me.

Like there is no way to get close enough to me.

I get it—I feel the same. I release my tight fist in his hair, but don’t let go of him, using my hand to keep him pressed against me.

My other hand palms his back, my fingers spread across the length of his spine to feel the ripples of his back muscles.

In only a handful of moments I’ve fallen off the edge entirely. I’m drowning in him. It’s the most wonderful and terrible thing I’ve experienced in my life. I never want it to end. I don’t know if I will ever be able to let him go again.

He makes the most incredible sounds. Needy whimpers and whining moans. He’s impatient, his mouth moving against mine desperately.

I’ve never kissed like this. I’ve never been kissed like this. Like it’s the beginning and ending of everything in the universe.

Needing to breathe, Eli jerks his mouth away, releasing his hold on my jaw to brace himself on his elbows.

He melts against me, his panting stomach pressing into mine as he nuzzles into my neck, sucking and licking the taut tendons there.

My legs part just enough for his thigh to slip between mine, allowing him to rock restlessly against me.

It’s nowhere enough to relieve the aching in our cocks, only enough to tease.

Eli kisses across my collarbone, tongue dipping into the hollow in my throat, and back up my neck to nose around the spot just below my jaw.

I wish we’d left the light on. If we only have one night, I wish I could see his face, see what he looks like when he’s wild with pleasure.

I want to be able to map the freckles on his body like they do the stars.

I want to look him in the eyes when he comes.

In a way this is better—it feels unreal, like we can write it off as a dream.

Not that I’m ever going to forget the way he cries out when my hand travels down the bumps of his spine to massage the soft mounds of his ass, increasing the pressure of his thrusts.

He’s too gone to control anything now. And when I roll us on to our side, he lets me do what I want, hitching his leg over my hip and rearranging us so he can still ride my thigh over our sleep shorts.

“ Jacob .” He pants, blindly searching for my mouth with his after we’ve been separated too long. Long fingers tangle in the hair at the nape of my neck to tug me back to him.

Our tongues move in time with our hips, rocking and thrusting against one another. Damp patches form on our shorts, the fabric getting unbearably rough from friction.

“Need—” I only get one word out before Eli is attached to me again.

It doesn’t matter, though. He gets the hint when I shove at the waist of his shorts. We kiss while we undress, soft huffs of laughter breaking through as we fumble in the dark.

And then we’re naked, our bodies fusing together again.

A shudder wracks through my body when I feel the crinkling of the soft hair on his belly against mine, the soft, tight skin of his balls against my thigh and the hot length of his cock between us. Instinctively we shift, moving until our dicks are perfectly aligned.

The heavens crack open when, on one short thrust, the slick head of his cock catches the sensitive V on mine. My head falls back on a strangled cry, my hand clamping on his arse to drive him harder against me.