Page 58 of All That Glitters

“She’s not part of the club anymore,” I say, just managing to keep the edge out of my voice.

When Lil narrows her eyes at me, I know I didn’t do as good a job as I’d thought.

“She might mean nothing to you, Midas, but she means something to me. And the tattoo on her wrist marks her as one of us, whether you like it or not. But don’t worry. I’ll tell her tocover it up and to pretend she doesn’t know us. Will that make you feel better?”

I hold up my hands in surrender, not wanting to fight. What went down between Legs and me has nothing to do with Lil. “I wasn’t trying to be a dick.”

“Weren’t you?” Her voice is quiet and tired. “You basically said Legs doesn’t deserve a warning about a possible danger because she’s not sleeping at the club anymore or with you.” She gets up and heads to the door. “I’ll wait in my car for Ambros.”

“For fuck’s sake, Lil. I didn’t mean it like that. You really think I’d put her in danger like that?”

She turns, and the disappointment on her face hits me like a punch to the gut. “Honestly? I don’t know anymore, Midas. Your hate for her is starting to override your common sense.”

“I don’t hate her, Lil,” I snap, louder than I meant, making her jump. “I hate how things ended.”

“Why?” she asks softly.

I don’t have an answer for that. When Legs first started talking about leaving, I tried everything to get her to change her mind. I knew I needed to let her go so she could find a man to give her the life she deserved. But the thought of her being away from me was more than I could handle. It still is.

When she told me she was having another man’s baby, the one thing I could never give her, it broke me. I’ll admit, I lost my motherfucking mind.

“I don’t know, Lil. What the fuck do you want me to say?”

“To me? Nothing. To the woman who loves you? Say something. Anything. Because you’re losing any chance you had with her.”

She holds up her hand when I try to say something.

“Don’t tell me it’s not like that. It is. You’ve just been too much of a coward to admit it. It was different with Legs from the very beginning. We all saw it. So tell me, Midas—are you happynow? Do you have the life you always dreamed of now that she’s gone?”

I stand up, my hands fisted at my sides.

“You’re angry she slept with the club brothers, but it was her only way to stay because you refused to make her your old lady. Poor Legs. Always the whore, never the wife,” she says, her voice full of sadness.

The moment I started fucking Legs without a condom, something I never asked her permission to do, I fucked her over. I so casually threw out that I was sterile then left, knowing she’d have questions, but none I had the answers to. To my surprise she never brought it up and never made me feel shit for something that was out of my control. Honestly, that made things worse, because it wasn’t until months later I realized why I’d done it. I was maneuvering her into position so that she’d be the one to leave.

I wasn’t strong enough to do it, so I tried forcing her to do my dirty work. I pushed her away with one hand while holding on so tightly with the other I was choking her. I let the guys think there was more going on between us than there was, sending mixed messages to Legs, so every now and then I fucked a bunny where she’d see. It was the most brutal way to remind her I was nobody’s white knight, least of all hers. I was a fucking coward, who took everything she had to offer and gave nothing in return.

I drop my head and let Lil’s words hit me. I put Legs in an impossible situation and made her the bad guy, no matter what choice she made.

“One of my brothers is the father of her baby,” I say, the thing I’m struggling with most. “Not a single fucker has come forward. Probably because they know what I’d do to them,” I snarl, looking at Lil, but she doesn’t say anything.

“Do you know who the father is?”

She shakes her head. “She wouldn’t tell me, and I didn’t push. She’ll tell me when she’s ready.”

“She’s protecting him,” I hiss.

“Can you blame her?” she murmurs. “She knows you’ll kill him, and then you’ll be out of the club. In a roundabout way, she’s protecting you. Shame nobody thought about protecting her.”

She turns and leaves, and I follow her, just as Ambros knocks on the door. Lil opens it for him. He looks her over and pulls her into his arms for a quick hug.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I took my sister for an appointment and got stuck in traffic.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault. Sometimes shit just happens. Hell if we didn’t evacuate, this wouldn’t have even been an issue.”

“Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.” He looks up at me. “Thanks, man.” Then he turns to leave.

“Ambros?” He looks back. “Check her car for a tracker. Feels a little convenient that, there’s a gas leak, meaning there’s nobody there for her when she leaves early. Perfect timing for the guy following her.”