Page 24 of Alec in Wonderland (Rainbow Tales #1)
Alec squinted into the light, Bax's muscular but lean body just a blur of shadow against the bright window. “Bax?”
“It's after noon, Mal,” Bax said. “Get out of that bed.”
“I did get out of bed. I distinctly remember showering with you.”
“That was yesterday.”
“Yesterday?” Alec rubbed at his eyes and sat up. “How many days have we been in here?”
“Just two.” Bax chuckled and disappeared into the bathroom.
Alec groaned and climbed out of bed. Two days. Torwen was probably pissed off or really worried. Alec didn't care. It had been the best two days of his life. Had he learned the whereabouts of the Vorpal Sword? Nope. Again, he didn't care. That was probably a bad thing.
With a sigh, Alec steadied his resolve. He would find the sword. He had to. Alec needed that thing to survive his fight with the Jabberwocky. It wasn't about loyalty or sex or even love. It was survival. His. That thought summoned others. Traitorous thoughts. Thoughts of abandoning the war and everyone who was counting on him. Would Bax leave with Alec if he asked him to?
That was the problem, wasn't it? Even if Alec confessed and offered to take Bax back to Oregon with him, Bax might not want to go. They'd only spent two days together. Of course, Bax wouldn't go. He wouldn't abandon the Queen of Hearts. That's not the kind of man he was. No, the Knave of Hearts would feel honor-bound to arrest Alec.
Images of Bax on his knees beside the Queen filled Alec's mind. It turned his stomach. Baxenvir was her lap dog. He adored her like a puppy loved its mistress. Alec thought Bax was too good a man for that shit, but after hearing about Bax's childhood, he understood it. The Queen had even said it herself—Bax loved her like a son loved his mother. That bitch knew the hold she had on her knave. She knew, and she worked that shit.
Could Alec break their bond? Could he take the Queen's place in Bax's heart? Maybe with some time. But not two days. Even if Bax wanted to leave with Alec, he wouldn't. Not with that bitch holding his leash. Fuck, it made Alec furious. The Queen of Hearts was a master manipulator. All those touches, that petting she did with Bax. The way she spoke to him. She treated him like a child because she knew he craved it. Denied such affection when he was a child, Bax was desperate for it as an adult. The Queen used his need to bond Bax to her. And that kind of bond was hard to break.
“This is doomed,” Alec whispered, his heart sinking. “We're doomed.”
“You're still in bed?” Bax shook his head as he came out of the bathroom. “Must I dress you myself?”
“I'm getting up.” Alec looked away, hiding his sorrow.
Bax stepped before him. “Look at me.”
Alec froze. Oh, fuck. Did he know? How could he know? What did he know? Alec determinedly did not look at the Knave of Hearts.
“Mal, look at me.”
Mal. Okay, so he didn't know. If he knew, he'd be using Alec's real name. So Alec looked up at Bax. And he nearly cursed. Bax stared at him with the most beautiful, tender expression. He had been shut down when they met. Closed off from everyone but the Queen. According to everyone, including Bax, the Knave never smiled. But Alec had got him smiling. And that had only been the beginning. Bax opened to him like a flower in the sun. And he held nothing back. He'd gone from cold indifference to fiery dedication. All in a few days. And Alec had fed this beautiful, brave man lies in return.
God, that turned his stomach.
Bax cupped Alec's cheek. “Leaving this suite is not the end of us. I swear to you that I have never experienced such a profound connection with anyone. I want you to be mine, Mal. I want you to stay here. Don't go back to the coast. Please. Don't leave me.”
Alec stared up at Bax, his throat constricting and tears gathering in his eyes. Oh, fuck. Fuck! He couldn't do this. No! This man deserved so much better. He'd been tossed away by his parents, scooped up by a psychopath, and still managed to become an amazing person. He was brave, strong, and kind. Kind despite all he'd been through. Despite the fact that he had to shove that kindness into a pit and go numb to fight for his queen. He was more honorable than anyone Alec had ever met. But he wasted that honor on a mad queen.
What could Alec do? How could he save Bax? And he had to save the Knave. It was the only way to come through this sane and whole. If he destroyed Baxenvir with this mission, he'd destroy himself too. Alec had to find a way to save them both.
“That was too much to lay on you this soon,” Bax went on, his hand falling away. “But you looked worried. I thought you might . . . forget that I said that. I'm sorry if I misread things. We can take it slower. Don't feel pressured. I—”
“Bax.” Alec stood up and cupped Bax's cheeks. “I want to stay.”
“You do?”
“I want to be yours.”
Baxenvir grinned. “You do?”
“I am.” Alec knew it was the truth. He also knew he was fucked because of it. Oh, well. In for a penny. “Are you mine?”
“I am.” Bax yanked Alec into his arms and kissed him thoroughly. So passionately that Alec could feel fate tangling them again. When Bax eased back, he was looking at Alec in that beautiful way again. “I am absolutely yours.”
Alec knew this wasn't true. Oh, Bax might believe it, but he was fooling himself. He was not absolutely Alec's. Bax was as much his as he was Bax's. But maybe that could change. Maybe they could come together and defy both sides of the war. Shed their chains and chain themselves to each other. A couple of protesters with flowers in their hair. Make love not war. Or maybe they'd go up in flames. Either way, Alec couldn't stop it now. Blossom or burn, he was committed.