Page 38 of Against All Odds (Ember Falls #3)

twenty-eight

Violet

T he next few weeks pass in a blur.

We went to my doctor’s appointment, where they once again confirmed that I am indeed pregnant and three weeks into my second trimester.

Now I’m just waiting for this morning sickness to freaking end. They said for most people, it stops by the second trimester. I’m looking at my calendar and would like to inform the child that we’re way past it and they can stop making me sick.

The gremlin doesn’t seem to care about my wishes, because once again, I’m in the faculty room, trying to keep my breakfast down.

“Violet, hey,” Miles says as he enters the room.

“Hi there.”

“How are you feeling?” he asks, probably noticing the green tinge to my skin. “Still hurling every day and pretending it’s a stomach bug?”

I’m surprised it’s taken him this long to comment. Two weeks ago he was starting to eye me suspiciously.

“For a few more weeks,” I say, confirming his suspicions. “Then maybe I’ll tell the truth.”

He grins. “I see. And how is Everett regarding your ... bug?”

“He’s happy,” I say.

“Then we are all sure to be happy when you’re ready to explain the vomiting that lasts for months. Does anyone else know or suspect?”

We haven’t told anyone. After we had that scare, I was hesitant to say anything, only to then have to explain if we did lose the baby. Besides, the fewer people who know, the better. I don’t want or need anyone digging around and putting two and two together about how far along I actually am.

Right now I’m not showing, and it’ll be easy to just say I popped early, but as we get further along, those milestones will start not adding up.

“I don’t think so.”

“Then let me be the first to congratulate you.” Miles opens his arms, and I stand to give him a hug. “I’m happy for you, Vi. Everett will be a great dad.”

He already has stepped in and keeps talking about all the things he wants to do. I’m not sure what I did in this world to deserve him.

“I know, I’m very lucky.”

He pulls back. “I think you’re both lucky to have each other. I’ve known you both a long time, and I’m really happy you guys are back together.”

I am too. It’s been a rough road, with a lot of surprises, but I’m genuinely at ease now. He makes me smile, he takes care of me, and he never makes me question his feelings. The two of us fit so well together—it’s more than I could have ever imagined.

“Thank you, Miles. I actually wanted to talk to you about next year.”

He extends his hand, indicating for me to sit. “Are you still thinking about leaving?”

Now that Dylan doesn’t want the baby, I don’t have to leave. There are a million reasons to stay and the biggest one is the man I love.

“No, and I love my job here. If you’re open to it, and there’s still a spot left, I’d really like to stay.”

Miles grins. “Violet, you can stay here for as long as you want. The idea of having to interview again is terrifying. If you want a job, you have it.”

And one more piece of my life clicks together perfectly.

“Of course he gave you the job,” Everett says as he’s messing with the fire that’s going out. “He knows I’d kill him if he didn’t, and he still owes me for hiring you.”

I roll my eyes as I put my book down. “Or, you know, it could be because I’m an amazing teacher.”

“That is absolutely the reason, babe. I’m just saying I’m an extra incentive.”

Yes, I’m sure that’s what he was saying. “Sure that’s what you meant. I’m getting tired. Are we staying at your house or mine?” I yawn as an added mark to the question.

He ended up staying later at the clinic today, which normally wouldn’t faze me in the least, but I cooked—and baked—so he came over to grab a plate, which led to him eating it, which then had us curled up on the couch together.

“Do you mind coming to my house?” he asks after finishing whatever he was doing with the fire. “Mom wants us to come for breakfast.”

I smile. “I’d love that.”

A few times a week we go to his mom’s for either breakfast or dinner. She came here yesterday, and Everett was planning to tell her about the baby, but we both decided to wait, as she had a few really bad days over the last week.

Everett shifts so we are both sitting. “Might as well go now before you pass out on the couch and I have to carry you over there.”

The sad part is that is definitely a possibility. I swear, I can fall asleep anywhere.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” I say, as we both stand and I stretch. “I was sick again in the teachers’ lounge, and Miles guessed I was pregnant.”

“Did you tell him that it’s ... ?”

That it’s Dylan’s baby. I hear him finish the thought.

I walk to him, resting my hands over his solid chest. “No. Dylan doesn’t want anything to do with him or her.

His lawyer sent over paperwork asking to agree to dissolve his paternal rights, which means I’ll proceed with the divorce.

All of this will be over soon. We’re still trying to figure all this out, and I don’t know what we tell people. ”

He wraps his hand around mine. “What do you want to tell people?”

“I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to lie to our friends and family. I’m pretty sure everyone will assume the baby is yours. Everyone knows we’re together, and if you’re by my side, that makes it appear that way.”

“Other than the feeling of lying, is there something else that holds you back from telling people?” Everett asks, his eyes not moving from mine.

Sometimes it’s as though he can see right through to my soul. That he knows all my fears and insecurities, and it’s his job to ferret them out so he can fix them.

I have a lot of other things that hold me back in small ways. While I know that Everett is absolutely nothing like my ex, the fear of him finding me lacking is still there. It’s a lifetime of never feeling like anyone’s first choice.

It’s being made to be small, to fit in the box that others wanted me in.

But being scared and feeling it, working through it, is what’s going to make this work.

And, God, I want it to.

“I’m afraid that one day you’re going to leave.

It’s not your problem, it’s mine, and I worry that this fear is always going to live inside of me.

I hate that this is a part of me, and I promise I’m working on it.

So to answer your question, I think I’m scared to tell everyone and then we don’t work out and .

.. then what? Do you tell everyone that the baby was never yours?

Do I have any choice but to leave Ember Falls?

This is your home. It’s your family and friends and . ..”

He squeezes my hand, and I take two deep breaths before looking up at him.

“There is no world where we just break up. I know what commitment looks like and it doesn’t scare me.

You are the woman I’ve loved for the better part of my life, and if for some reason we choose to end our relationship, this baby will forever be mine. ”

No one has intentions of their relationship ending.

I sure as hell didn’t enter my marriage thinking I’d get a few years out of it and we’d walk away. I watched a man go from being this sweet, loving, and attentive guy to the most egotistical asshole you can imagine.

People change, but I can’t hold the sins of someone else against Everett.

It’s not his fault, and he’s done absolutely nothing to warrant my mistrust.

“I know.”

Everett gives me a sweet kiss. “Time will prove that I’m not going anywhere. So, for now, we don’t say anything about who the baby’s biological father is. We can let people guess or make their own assumptions.”

He needs to know how I feel about him. That even with my fear, in my heart, I know who he is to me and this child.

I reach my hand up and brush his hair back. “From the day I found out I was pregnant, you’ve been the father in every way that matters. You’ve been the man I’ve needed, and I love you, Everett. I love you.”

He smiles, and the joy in his eyes sends a wash of warmth through me. His voice is thick as he speaks. “I love you so much I worry you’ll drown in it.”

“I don’t think love drowns, I think it makes you fly because right now I’m not weighed down. I feel like I can breathe.”