Page 24 of Against All Odds (Ember Falls #3)

eighteen

Violet

I wrap my sweater around me tighter as I walk across the field to the tree line separating my house and Everett’s.

After crying for about twenty minutes, I picked myself up and said enough .

If I’m going to do this on my own, then I need to plan and think about my steps and choices.

It felt good to start to have a plan. While my world may be spinning in the wrong direction, I have to be able to adjust, and making lists gives me a place to start.

The first thing I did was call the OB-GYN, and I was absolutely horrified that they didn’t want to see me for another three to four weeks.

What in the fresh hell is that?

I’m pregnant and they don’t want me to come in right away? I was floored, but they didn’t seem concerned at all.

Now I have three weeks to wonder and worry. I also put worrying about the baby on the list.

The next thing I wrote of importance was to tell Everett it’s over. That my situation has changed, and I can no longer keep having these “tomorrow” days. Tomorrow is gone. It’s now yesterday. The future is going to be a minefield, and I can’t bring another person any further in than I already have.

I did allow the tears to fall as I wrote out that one. I know it’s the logical decision, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

I then have to tell my parents and friends and come up with how I’m going to raise this child on my own.

Somehow.

I get to the front door and knock, but he doesn’t answer.

Oh good, I get to prolong this stress.

Then I hear a very familiar voice. “Hello?”

I turn, coming face-to-face with Mrs. Finnegan. Her soft blue eyes are the same, only they look a little tired. Her hair is almost fully gray now, with slight hints of brown still sprinkled in. She steps forward.

“Hello, Mrs. Finnegan,” I say, my heart aching a little, not sure whether I should say anything to her. “Is Everett here?”

“Yes, he’s ...” She looks back toward the house. “He’s here.”

“Okay. I can wait out here.”

“Mom!” I hear him yell from inside. “Mom! Where are you?”

“I’m at the door,” she says. “You have a friend here. She’s very pretty.”

He pulls the door back and sees me. “Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Everett, don’t be rude. Introduce me to your friend, and you’re letting all the heat out.”

His smile is soft. “Of course. Mom, you’ve actually met Violet. You haven’t seen her in a long time, though.”

Mrs. Finnegan’s eyes go wide. “Violet Stewart? Is that you?”

“It is.”

“Oh!” She ushers me inside and then pulls me into a hug, holding me to her chest, and those stupid tears that I’ve been really good at keeping at bay for the last three hours come rushing forward.

I wrap my arms around her, feeling like a little girl all over again. She rubs my back. “Don’t cry, dear.”

“I’m sorry.” I hiccup. “I’m just ... I’ve missed you and Ember Falls. It’s just ...”

She pulls back. “Well, we missed you too. I’m sorry about your grandmother. I loved her very much.”

“I know, she loved you too.” My grandmother felt that she won the lottery with neighbors. The Finnegans always came to check on her, making sure she was never without.

“Well, we know that she absolutely thought you hung the moon.” Her hand rests on my cheek.

“I should’ve come to see her ...” I choke on the words, the guilt hitting me so hard.

I went to college and never saw her again. She didn’t travel well, so my parents always came to her, and I was too stupid and selfish to return, not wanting to risk seeing Everett.

I’ve never forgiven myself for it.

She deserved better from me.

“Oh, sweetheart, she didn’t need to see you to know you loved her very much. She would come talk to me and tell me just how great you were doing.”

“She did?”

Mrs. Finnegan nods. “She came for tea every Sunday morning, and we would talk about you and your schooling. I swear, that woman could go on for hours about the things you were going to do in life. Her love crossed any amount of miles and didn’t require anything from you.”

Everett smiles from behind his mother. “I can also attest to that.”

She turns. “Oh, Everett, I didn’t know you were behind me. Did you know that Violet is here?”

His eyes meet mine for a heartbeat, and then he turns to his mother. “I did. She’s staying next door.”

“Doreen would’ve loved that. She missed you very much,” she tells me. “She would come on Sundays for tea and talk about you nonstop.”

Everett clears his throat. “Mom, it’s getting late. Do you want to go watch your nighttime shows?”

She glances at the clock behind her. “It’s almost time for my favorite game shows. Do you know where Brutus is?”

Everett glances over at the couch. “He’s over there, waiting for you and glowering at me.”

Mrs. Finnegan walks over, petting the big bulldog. “There you are, sweet boy.” He lifts his head, allowing her to pet him. “Let’s leave Everett with his friend.”

“I’ll come over before you go to sleep, I promise.”

She pats his chest. “Don’t you bother. I’ll be fine.”

He laughs softly. “It’s not for your benefit. It’s for mine.”

“Oh, then, you can come by or bring me back now and say good night.”

Everett turns to me with a smile. “I’ll be right back. Are you okay to stay here?”

“Of course.”

I watch him walk away with his mother and Brutus, and I take this time to compose myself. Jesus, I literally just wept in his mother’s arms. I need to get it together or I’m never going to get through any of this.

The list, remember the list. I have reasons besides the pregnancy, and those are what I’m going to have to cling to.

I can do this.

I have to do this.

Everett comes back in, walking to me immediately. “Are you okay?”

I brush off my mini-breakdown with a laugh. “Of course. I didn’t expect to see your mom, and I was surprised. I didn’t know what to say, and when she hugged me, I just felt so emotional.”

“She loves you very much.”

“I love her too.”

He reaches for me, but I step back a little, my hand going to my stomach. “I’m still not feeling great,” I explain.

“What did the doctor say?”

That I’m going to have a baby.

“The nausea will probably go away soon.” That is not a lie. She did say that.

“Good, did you want something to drink before we talk?” His voice is hesitant, and I can already sense that he knows this visit isn’t going to end with us tangled in his sheets.

I shake my head. Delaying this is only going to be harder for us both. “No, thank you. Look, I wanted to talk because I just think we need to be smarter than this. We have this ... shared history, and we say no strings , but I don’t know if that’s really possible, do you?”

“Okay,” he says slowly. “I’m not really sure where this is coming from?”

“I’ve just been thinking, and it feels like it will be so easy for us. We loved each other once. I’m not sure I won’t fall in love with you again.”

He smiles. “I’m not sure you won’t either. I’m a catch.”

“Everett, I’m being serious.”

“So am I.”

I huff and start to pace. This is not going to plan. I go back to the list. “There are other reasons. For one, I’m not in a place to start anything.”

“I didn’t ask you to. If you remember, I told you I couldn’t offer you anything more either.”

Yes, okay, he did. “Then there’s the fact that if this were to get serious, I’m probably going back to California.”

He takes a step toward me. “But we already said we weren’t going to get serious. Hence the no strings.”

Why is he ruining this with his logic?

“I just can’t.”

His eyes narrow slightly, watching my reactions. “Then we don’t.”

Okay. We don’t.

He agreed.

All is well ... not well ... not well at all.

I don’t want this to end. I don’t want any of this.

God, I feel so broken and scared right now.

I want my granny. I want someone to hold me and tell me it’s going to be okay, but I’m alone.

I’m here in front of a man who has made me feel more alive and stronger than anyone ever has, and I have to let him go.

Great, now the tears are coming again.

Everett moves in front of me, stopping my pacing. “You’re crying?”

“No. I’m not. These aren’t tears. They’re just leaking eyes. There’s a lot of dust in the room, or maybe it was the pollen when I walked through the field.”

“Violet ... why don’t we stop with the bullshit and you just tell me what the hell is going on? I’m not trying to push you to keep sleeping with me, but I just want to know the truth.”

The truth.

God, the truth is so sad. The truth is tearing me apart.

I shake my head. “All I do is cry. All I do is ... feel so damn much, and now I know why. I mean, I get it. It all makes sense. I’m not sad, I’m pregnant. I’m fucking pregnant and, God, how am I going to do this?”

There. I told him the truth.

“Well, shit, that was fast.”

“Fast?”

He shrugs. “I mean, I didn’t know I could get you pregnant in two days. I’m pretty amazing. I bet we’ll end up in some kind of book.”

Oh my God. He thinks it’s his? “Everett, it’s not ours.”

“I know, Violet,” he says with a soft chuckle. “I was just trying to get you to relax for a second. I may not be a human doctor, but animals usually need a bit before they can be confirmed pregnant too.”

I let out a heavy breath and look up at the ceiling. “I keep waiting for this nightmare to end.”

“Did you tell . . . him?”

I stare at him in shock. “You really want to talk about this?” I ask.

Everett lifts a shoulder. “Do you have someone else you can talk to right now?”

“No.”

He’s honestly the only person I needed, and all I thought was I should push him away to avoid ever hurting him again.

“Come here,” he says with his arms open.

I want to fight the pull, but right now I really just want to be held.

Taking the two steps to him is the easiest thing I’ve done all day. Everett’s arms wrap around me and I breathe in his scent, letting it relax me. I don’t cry—for what feels like the first time. I just let his strength and warmth engulf me.

“Have you told anyone?” he asks.

I nod against his chest. “I told him.”

“And?”

I pull back, swiping at my stupid tears, and push the air out of my lungs.

“He was exactly like you’d think. Selfish, angry, worried about his precious new relationship and how Whitney will feel about this.

He even said he needs to talk to his team first.” I laugh.

“He accused me of doing this to keep him or something. I don’t know, at some point I just tried to stop thinking. ”

“The more you tell me about him, the more I really fucking hate him.”

I look up into his eyes. “Me too.”

And I left Everett to love Dylan. So stupid. I was such an idiot, and in the end this is probably karma.

“What do you want, Vi?”

“Right now, I don’t even know what to think. I went home, cried, and then started to make lists.”

He releases me just a little and looks down at me. “Was one of them how to get out of whatever this is between us?”

I nod.

“It didn’t work,” he says with a wink.

“I’m aware. I can’t even break off whatever this is the right way.”

“I’m not a man who scares easily.”

“I was sure the pregnancy would do the trick, but it seems that didn’t even get you to budge.”

Everett moves closer, his warm palm against my cheek. “I don’t think anything could scare me away from you, Violet. Especially not a baby that’s half of you.”

My heart, that felt completely shattered, mends a little. “Everett, what am I going to do?”

He pulls me to the couch and then against his chest. “Well, you don’t have to know today. For now, you can just feel all the shit I’m assuming you’re feeling, and then tomorrow, maybe that’s when you make some decisions.”

I smile, my hand resting on his chest. He is so sweet, and the fact that he is being supportive has my head finally calming. “So you’re saying that you want to debate whatever it is we’re doing tomorrow?”

“Not debate, just not make any decisions now. Besides, tomorrow seems to work well for us.”

Yeah, I guess it does.

“Tomorrow then.”