Page 34 of Against All Odds (Ember Falls #3)

twenty-five

Everett

Y es.

I don’t hesitate. I move my lips to hers, pressing in the most tender kiss I can manage. It’s been weeks without her. Weeks after having her, kissing her, making love to her that I’ve gone without.

I’m a starved man, and right now I’m being fed.

Violet’s hands move to my face, and she deepens the kiss. My tongue slides against hers, the kiss becoming more and more heated.

She tastes like sugar, and her vanilla-and-cinnamon scent fills my senses. I’ve waited for her to come to me, to let me convince her that we can have a future, but she wasn’t ready.

Now that I have her in my arms again, I’m going to do everything I can to keep her.

“Everett,” she says and breaks the kiss, turning her head. “God, I’m sorry.”

I clear my throat. “Sorry for what?”

“I ... I shouldn’t kiss you. I shouldn’t do this to you.”

“I promise, kissing you is not a hardship.” Although it does make some things very, very hard.

She shakes her head, resting her hand on my chest. “It’s not for me either. But my situation hasn’t changed. My life is just so up in the air, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

“Why do you think you get to make the decision for me?”

Violet’s eyes widen. “What?”

“You heard me. Isn’t it also my decision? Don’t I get a say in whether or not I’m willing to take the risk?”

She glances down at her hands and then back to me. “Of course you do.”

“Then how about you ask me what I want, Vi?”

It takes a moment before she speaks again. “Okay. What do you want?” she asks, her eyes filled with hesitation.

“You,” I say without pause. “All of you. The baby. A chance at a life together. I want our second chance.”

Tears fill her eyes, but she holds them back. “And if I have to leave Ember Falls?”

“Then we come up with a solution—together.”

I can see the wheels turning in her mind, and I take her chin between my thumb and pointer.

“Look at me, Violet. I’m not afraid, even though my heart has always been yours to break, but I’m not afraid of it.

I’m not running away. I’m standing here, willing to take whatever time we can have together.

If it’s a week, a month, or a lifetime. What are you afraid of? ”

She drops her head to my chest before letting out a long breath. “I’m afraid that if I have to leave here, after falling back in love with you, it will absolutely destroy me.”

“Do you think it won’t if you don’t give us a chance?”

Violet laughs and she pushes at my chest, starting to pace. “No, I know it will no matter what, but if we do this, and we have this relationship, then what?”

“Answer me this, do you think about me?”

“Ever?”

I grin. “Let me rephrase. Do you think about us, what we could be?”

She nods. “Every day.”

“And would you rather live those days together or apart?”

Just then she grabs at her side, wincing. “God, that hurts.”

Fear grips me as she doubles over.

“What’s wrong?”

“I think I’m going to be sick!” Violet says and then runs to the bathroom.

“Violet?” I call after her, but she shuts the door.

“Don’t come in here!”

Then I hear her getting sick. Yeah, that’s not going to happen.

I push the door open and rush to her side, pulling her hair back behind her, as she gets sick again. Violet pants and I grab a towel, handing it to her.

“Does your stomach still hurt?” I ask as she dabs at her mouth.

“Yes, but ... I really didn’t want you to see that.”

“You know I’m a doctor, right? I’ve seen my share of puke, poop, and blood. Nothing scares me.”

Not to mention the things I have to do when I work with farmers and in vitro. Her pregnancy nausea is a walk in the park.

What I did hate was watching her suffer. I grab a cup by the sink, fill it, and then she takes a small sip. “I hate this part of pregnancy. I really thought it was starting to fade. Apparently it was just lying in wait.”

I smile and brush her hair back. “Hopefully it was just this once.”

“Your lips to God’s ears.” She gets up and winces. “I haven’t had this constant cramping before, though.”

“They say cramping is normal.”

When I found out that Violet was pregnant, my doctor mode kicked in. The only thing was that I didn’t know shit about human pregnancy. I can tell you all about a horse or a goat, but the gestational periods aren’t the same.

So I spent hours researching so that I could at least be a little knowledgeable. Then I got on some blogs and online forums, now I know things I wish I could forget.

“Who says that?” she asks as I help her up off the floor.

“The Mommy blogs.”

“The what?”

I clear my throat. “So, there are hundreds and hundreds of websites that are literally nothing but helpful women willing to offer their advice. I went on one, then they made me register to ask a question, to which I became a member and pay ten dollars a month for, and they sent me to another.”

This is truly embarrassing, but it’s the truth.

She blinks. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Blogs, chat rooms, forums, there are so many and the information is really conflicting. One woman was saying her milk didn’t come in then another one said it was because she ate too much broccoli. I don’t know, that became heated.”

“Everett, you joined a forum?”

I scoff. “I joined thirty. I’m a favorite in there because they found out I was a soon-to-be father and they wanted to make sure I could get the information I need.

When I was on the first, they recommended a few others, and I needed to have a large enough sample size to make an accurate conclusion. So, I joined them all.”

“You’re paying for these forums?”

I nod. “Some, but only like ten are paid.”

“Oh, only ten.”

“I also read a few books, talked to the pediatrician in town, but the online community is much more forthcoming.”

“I . . . bet they are,” she says looking at me as though I sprouted two heads.

“Wait, books? You read a few books about pregnancy in a couple of weeks and talked to a pediatrician?”

“I don’t know why you’re so shocked.”

Violet shakes her head. “You’re not? Why would you join groups and talk to doctors?”

“Because you’re pregnant,” I say, not sure where her confusion comes from. “You’re pregnant and you’re not alone. I’m right here and I’m going to learn anything and everything I can so I’m prepared to do whatever you need.”

Again, not sure why she’s shocked by this.

Her eyes go soft and she touches my cheek. “You know you really can be sweet.”

I grin. “Good to know that reading really does it for you.”

The laugh that falls from her lips goes right to my cock. Not that it takes much of anything to turn me on around her.

“Can you give me a minute to clean up and then head home?”

Only I don’t want her to go home. I want her to stay here, to curl up on the couch. I want to hold her, like we did the night she found out she was pregnant. I want to be her comfort, her safe place, and tell her how much I want to make this work.

However, minutes pass and Violet doesn’t come out. I head back to the door, hand ready to knock when her panicked voice screams. “Everett!” I push the door open to find her sitting on the toilet, tears in her eyes. “I’m bleeding.”

I’m pacing outside of the hospital room. The doctor is in there with Violet now, and I’m just trying to keep myself calm.

When we got here, they didn’t seem all that concerned. I didn’t comprehend the fact that they weren’t immediately wheeling her back and doing something.

One would think that I would understand, more than most, that if she’s miscarrying, there’s nothing they can do to stop it. She’s still early into her pregnancy, and this would just be a sad reality.

All that knowledge went right out the fucking door because it’s Violet.

She was scared and I was fucking terrified. I’ve never felt more helpless than I did as I was driving her to the hospital.

The doctor exits and I come to a halt. “You can come in.”

“Is she . . .”

“I can’t disclose anything, but Violet is waiting for you.”

Right, privacy laws and all that shit. Hopefully this will be the last time this is an issue when it comes to Violet.

I open the door, steeling myself. No matter what she tells me, I will be stoic and be there for her.

Violet turns her head when I walk in. I don’t speak, and then she gives me a soft smile. “It’s just some spotting.”

Relief floods me and I move to her bed, taking her hands in mine. “And she’s okay?” I ask the doctor. She must have followed right behind me. “She’s pregnant? The baby is fine? Everything is all right?”

“She’s doing well. This is very normal. The cramping and the spotting can happen, and it’s nothing to worry about.”

Nothing to worry about? I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that regarding blood, but she seems confident in her assessment.

“What do we have to watch for? Does she need to stay in bed?” I ask.

“Nope, none of that.”

Violet squeezes my hands. “It’s really okay. Dr. Cowles said everything looks fine, but just to be sure, she’d like to do an ultrasound, and we can also hear the heartbeat. Do you want to ... be in here?”

I stare down at her, my own heart rate accelerating. “Are you sure?”

I don’t know why I ask that since she called me in here, but I can’t help but feel like this is a monumental moment for her, and to share it together must mean something.

“Everett,” she says on a soft sigh. “Of course I’m sure.”

“Then, yes, I would love nothing more.”

Dr. Cowles smiles. “Okay, let’s hear your baby’s heartbeat.”

She heads out of the room and wheels in the ultrasound machine. Once it’s set up, she explains where exactly the wand is going, puts some lube on the end, and then we start to see the screen.

Neither of us move, and I hold Violet’s hands as we wait. Dr. Cowles points to the smallest speck on the screen. “This is your baby, and that right there is the sac. Everything looks perfectly normal.”

I stare at the monitor, completely transfixed, and then the room is filled with a whomping noise.

The heartbeat.

Whomp. Whomp. Whomp. Whomp. It beats over and over, and I swear my chest expands so large I can’t breathe.

It’s the most beautiful sound in the world.

Violet looks to me, tears in her eyes. “That’s the baby?”

I nod. “That’s the baby.”

She turns to the doctor. “It’s so fast.”

“It is, but this is actually a good heart rate for a baby. Your pregnancy looks normal and healthy.”

Violet looks to me, and I lean in to kiss her.

There aren’t words for this moment. Nothing I can say to explain the myriad of emotions that are moving through me.

Love for the woman lying in the bed. Joy for the strong heartbeat that echoes in the room.

Fear of losing her or the baby at some point.

All of it swirls inside me, warring on which will win.

Ultimately, it’s joy.

Right now, in this moment, I’m with the woman I’ve always loved, and I’m hearing her baby’s heartbeat.

I know that our future is unsure, but I am not willing to let her go. If she has to go back to California, then I’ll follow. Somehow. Some way, I’ll find a way to be with her and the baby.

“I’ll let you get dressed, and I’ll see you in a week for your next appointment, okay?” Dr. Cowles says, and then the room is back to quiet.

“Thank you, Dr. Cowles,” Violet says.

“Anytime.”

She heads out of the room, and Violet and I stare at each other for a second before she starts to cry.

“I have never felt like this. The whole time on the way here, I kept thinking ... maybe this is good. Maybe I shouldn’t have this baby because it’s .

.. his. Then I hated myself for thinking it, and I was so afraid I would lose him or her.

I was so conflicted until I looked into your eyes. ”

I brush her tears away. “Mine?”

Violet sniffles. “You were so worried. I watched you drive like a maniac to get me here, telling me it would be okay. Just now, when you heard the heartbeat, you were mesmerized, and I knew that my heart and my head found its meeting point. I want you, Everett. Whatever we can have for as long as we can have it. No more pushing you away, I don’t want to do it anymore. ”

I kiss her nose. “Good, because I was done letting you, and just know that I’ll do everything to keep you safe.”

No matter the cost.