Page 16 of Against All Odds (Ember Falls #3)

eleven

Violet

“ P lease tell me you’re going to call him tomorrow. If you don’t, I might find a way to clone your number and do it myself.”

I laugh, lying on my bed, unable to think of anything else except that kiss. “My head is a mess.”

Analeigh laughs. “Then let’s unfuck it.”

I roll my eyes, glad she can’t see my face because we’re not on video. “I’m not even sure I can.”

“It’s worth a try.”

I lean back against the headboard and sigh. “Give it your best shot.”

“Okay, when you were straddling him, was he hard?”

“Analeigh!”

“What?”

He was. So hard. So big. So much more than I remember, but I won’t tell her that.

“I’m not talking about that, and it’s not why he stopped it.”

“I’m sure he didn’t want to be the guy you fucked while you thought about your husband, who is newly engaged to the woman he was banging during your marriage.”

I huff. “I’m sure too.”

“Well, were you?”

“No! I didn’t even think about Dylan. All I’ve thought about since being here is Everett.”

Honestly, I hadn’t thought about Dylan since the moment I saw Everett. I was too busy laughing, smiling, dancing, kissing ... oh, the kissing ...

“Did you tell him that?”

“No.”

“Okay, so maybe your head isn’t a mess as much as you just really suck at communicating,” Ana says with a note of judgment. “You have to tell guys. They’re really not all that smart when it comes to reading a woman’s mind. They are far too literal.”

“Nick seems to have no issues understanding what you want,” I toss back.

She bursts out laughing. “Nick? Are you kidding me? I literally text him what I want, and then it shows up. We don’t expect the other to read our minds, and we talk about everything.

Yes, he tries so hard to be romantic and surprise me, which is cute, but when it’s the big things, I tell him exactly what I want. ”

That was never the case for me. I’ve always been ... embarrassed about what I want. My parents didn’t care or ask me for my opinion when it came to things that mattered, so I learned to not have one.

Granny was the only one who would ask and push me to state my desires.

As a kid, whenever Hazel, Miles, Everett, and I would play or make plans, I never was the one who made the suggestion.

I just went with the pack.

“I’m not sure I can do that.”

“Why not?”

I really hate that she pushes me to feel vulnerable. She knows why, but I guess I have to spell it out.

“What if he doesn’t want to? What if he rejects me? He walked out that day in my bedroom.”

Analeigh chuckles. “I’m going to say there’s a fat chance of him rejecting you this time. Didn’t he say something about buckling up?”

“Yes, but it’s awkward.”

“Okay, I think you need to practice,” she says as though this is the best idea she’s ever come up with.

I groan because there’s no way this isn’t going to end up without me hating my life. “Ana, I don’t think ...”

“That’s right, don’t think. Just do what I say. I want you to open up your text messages and write to me, pretending I’m Everett.”

Yeah, that’s not going to happen. “No.”

“Violet, you need to learn to ask for what you want. You’re sending it to me. You know there’s nothing you’re going to say that will shock me. So take a deep breath, open the text, and tell me what you want.”

I open the text because I know this will never ever end, and Ana will just keep pushing.

I want you to stop pushing me.

Ana

I bet you do, but that’s a big fat no.

I sigh. “You’re annoying, you know that?”

“You called me because you wanted my advice,” Ana says with her stern tone laced in each word.

“I know that you’re afraid and that telling people what you want or need is foreign to you, and I love you, so know that when I say this, but it’s why you’re in this position.

You would never tell Dylan how you felt.

You let him decide your life. The last real decision you made on your own was the college you went to, and even that, you just ran from the confrontation of your feelings.

I get it, Vi. I really do. You’re so easygoing and don’t ever push back, but you have to fight for yourself now. ”

I stay silent as my throat grows tight. Tears build behind my eyes, and I want so badly to shove them back, but instead I let them fall. “I don’t know how.”

“Oh, my sweet friend, you are right now. You’re in Ember Falls, you filed for divorce, you didn’t let Dylan convince you to let him do it or whatever bullshit his PR team would’ve pushed for.

You got a job thousands of miles away. You did that.

Look at how you handled today. You’re fighting, but now you have to push against the instinct to protect yourself and take what you want. ”

An unease sits in my chest, making it hard to breathe just thinking about it. Every instinct in me says to just slink away and be the good girl who is quiet and accommodating.

But that girl was broken.

That girl was used, and it wasn’t good. It was horrible.

It led me here, and I don’t want to be her anymore.

It won’t be easy, that’s for damn sure. I’m not even sure I can do it, but Ana’s right. I did all those things, and I didn’t ask a single person for permission.

I did it for me.

I glance at the clock on my bedside table and smile when I notice it’s officially tomorrow.

“Okay, here’s what I would say to him.”

I pull up my text message and tell Ana exactly what I would say to Everett.

It’s tomorrow, and I want you. Come to my bed and let me show you what I regret.

I hit send.

“Too stupid?” I ask her.

“What?”

“The text!”

Ana clears her throat. “You didn’t send me a text.”

My eyes go wide and I pull my phone down. “Oh God,” I breathe.

“No! You didn’t!” Ana says with a laugh. “You sent it to him?”

“I did. Oh, God.”

I’m going to have to move. Sell my grandmother’s house and be homeless. No way in hell can I face this man ever again.

“What did it say?” she screeches.

I read it back to her and she is silent.

“Ana? What do I do now?”

“I think you better go unlock your front door ...”